Guys - Help me out please- I am really confused about my coworker

Question

So I work with a guy who is a rock star - very smart, educated etc. He does not come off as "shy" with anybody however this is how he acts with me (which makes me think he hates me).

- Stares at me

- Tries to catch my eyes and if I look into his eyes he doesn't smile he just continues to stare

- Often but not always get red cheeks when I suddenly appear

- Slyly grins at me (like a half smile) - while maintaining eye contact

- I've stared him down before cause he was staring at me and when we passed he said hello in soft deep voice

- Gets near me - real close in personal space but doesn't say anything

- Catch him glancing and looking away

- Acts awkward around me

- Never really talks to me

So af first I thought he liked me or something and then I found out he's been married for 6 years. So I've never had this happened before in such a strange manner.

I'm confused. Is this guy a 'creeper'? Does he hate me? It's really weird cause we work for same company and I see him like once a day.

What's his deal? HE'S NOT SHY - I've seen him in meetings and with other people -

StarBuckeroo · Accepted Answer

Maybe you are creeping him out by staring at him so much?. . he may just be like, whoa, that chick really likes me, I am married, I probably should keep my distance. . .  Smirk, Hello, I have to get away from this crazy girl!  .  . He's probably glancing over at you, because he is like 'dang, why does she keep staring at me? .. is she still looking'. . . put yourself in his shoes before sayin he's a 'CREEPER' . .is that someone that has sex with someone while they are sleeping? sleeper creeper.   ..   He probably isn't shy, you just send offf the "Hey, I'm kinda crazy, and staring at you a lot vibe'  Not being a jerk about it either! so, I hav ebeen p*ssing people off because I joke sarcastically and sometimes comes off rude. so, take a deep breath before calling me names. .that really hurts.

jerry_funk · Accepted Answer

Classic case of the shy extrovert. He sounds like one who is able to function in certain social situations, just not around women he finds attractive. Obviously it's not at all conclusive, but even married men get nervous around pretty women I'm sure. Of course I've never encountered the actions of a "creeper", I assume someone like that would be much more forward with you and wouldn't come across as healthy attraction from a partially shy man. While I haven't met my definition of a creeper, I've certainly met some assholes who cheat on their wives. If he's an asshole he'll eventually have to be forward with you, and then you can deal with it accordingly.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I had this happened to me. This man is married, has children but he stares at me very often. When he passes me, he like freaks out and like walks by walls. When he says Hi, he does it in soft voice and head nod. He likes to gaze at me and tries to catch my eyes just to say HI. But I must say, I just took as it a compliment and did nothing. I mean it's his problem, not yours (if of course, you're not into having sex with him). I can say he LIKES YOU, but doubt he will ever do something about it. Maybe has a little crush, but who doesn't. It's not like he is stalking you or touching you all over the places... I had a crush when I was married and so, I never did anything just liked to look at him time to time...

CuddlyCarla · Accepted Answer

Obviously he's not shy, shy people don't look you in the eye, maintain eye contact, or look at you long, period. Why should he always have to get red cheeks when he sees you? If he does sometimes, that's a good sign. The sly smile is also a good sign. Maybe he wants you to make the first move. Talk to him and make the conversation happen if it doesn't naturally develop, then you can see what this is about and if it's someone you want to pursue or not. Just because he's a guy doesn't mean he has to make all the moves.

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

He does not hate you.  He is a creeper.  He sounds like he likes you a little too much for a married man and that he would love to have sex with you if he could keep it all on the downlow.  This is really inappropriate in the workplace.  As you said, he is not shy, so he is putting himself out to you in a way that is probably designed to keep his co-workers off the track but make sure you know he is interested.

huntusa · Answer

I think you liked him too because if you don't then why do you care if he is staring at you or not.Probably you gave him some hints that you have crush on him too but when you found out that he is married you backed off leaving him wondering what went wrong.It's just possible that he wanted to be friends with you.

So don't say that you didn't like him because you did.You backed off because you found out he is married,otherwise how you noticed that he is getting in your personal space how can you catch him staring at you without looking at him.

Other thing is that when you say "Does he hate me?" it implies that you want to know if he likes you or not.

Don't get me wrong here but it takes two to fight.

Alucard · Answer

Although not helpfull, who the rock star or band?

Also think about it this way, when people go to meetings, service customers etc, they are playing a role which they done a 1oo times before, but in a new situation things are uncertain like being intrested in a girl when married this is why people get nervous for doing things for the first time. Truth is I dated/pulled more girls than most of my mates but I'm useless and awrkwad thrying to flirt with someone on the tube or coffee shop as my experience is almost completely based in clubs, bars, gigs and smoking areas.

Simply he's out of his comfort zone if your really want him try put him at ease with talk etc and be more forward but why bother, he's married and sounds like a douche even if he is a rockstar.

Anonymous · Answer

It sounds like he really got the hots for you like usually he knows what to do around women but you are so amazing he's so afraid to blow it he sort of does nothing.  Maybe its not just your looks maybe your tone of voice.  Maybe this combined with him perhaps perceiving that you don't like him?  I remember knowing a girl who was so breathtakingly beautiful to me I rarely could have a good conversation with her.  my emotional state would go crazy every time she would come or go and I evaluated every detail of what she did for its meaning.  I remember her walking down some stairs with her long long hair down I couldn't breathe

PinaColada · Answer

He's defiantly 100% infatuated with you but feels weird because he's married.

No creeper there. The only difference between that rock star and myself is that I'm not married but I have a 4 year relationship with a girl friend however it's been going down hill and I have a crush on an attractive 20-year-old woman at work.

Mohsin · Answer

A little history first. I use to be a player. not any more. changed for good. so don't hate.

The Plan :

That girl is hot. She knows I am not shy. I'll act nervous infront/arround her. Would stare her down with a smirk every now and then but will never really talk to her. Give her obvious hints like being in her personal space that I like her.

Reason:

It will get her curious/confused. She would think about me when I am not arround. It will lead to me being a mystery for her. Creating confused attraction towards me. So when I do tell her that I find her attractive she would think about the little things I was doin and find'em "aww so cute" .

Now if he ain't no player type. I know guys who are not shy but get shy arround girls they "really" like.

Conclusion: Either way he does find you attractive.

Pleasehelpmeplease · Answer

Maybe he's secretly a vampire and craves your blood more than everyone elses and can't read your like mind like he can everyone else. He's fully in love with you. Lol maybe this has nothing to do with twilight. LMFAO. Ok tbh I think he's just really creepy. I don't think he hates you though.

augustine_64 · Answer

this isn't hard to figure out but I understand why you got confused. girls like to flirt as much as guys do. some people do it without knowing. but what you have here is a fight happening inside this guys head. he's thinking a lot of thoughts. he'll flirt and play around but in the end that's all.

yummm · Answer

You don't fool me for a second!! You KNOW he is infatuated with you and wants to get in your pants. Pure physical lust, not love. You are flattered by his attention. It will stop the moment you cross the line and let him screw you. He obviously does not respect you or take you seriously, but you think he does by posting this ridiculous post!! If you truly believe you would never get involved with a coworker or married man, why are you spending so much time discussing or even thinking about his perverted and unprofessional behavior?

Anonymous · Answer

Well... A guy who stares at you, tries to catch eyes, gets red cheeks, smirks, etc.. It's obvious he's interested in you somehow, but maybe doesn't have the balls to say anything to you. If he's married, I'm sure he isn't looking to cheat. (but who knows in these days). If he starts to put up pictures of you, your house, your car, and a detailed exit route in his cubicle- I'd worry then.

Stanthemilkman · Answer

Yep he obivously hates you, I'm taking a wild berzerker hate. You should run while you have the chance.

westman74 · Answer

don't ever go out with a co worker ever... bad news... get a new job then ask him out... other wise you may get fired...

Anonymous · Answer

What do you mean by rockstar? And I personally think he could either be a creeper or likes you. Which considering he's married, I think both. Stay away, because married men like that can only lead to trouble.

Anonymous · Answer

He's shy around you because he likes you-- a LOT. He may simply not want to risk jeopardizing his marriage by getting close to you.

michaelg9289 · Answer

I think this is what I would call a "major league" creeper. He's sort of freaking me out just thinking about him (then again I'm just around 20 so I wouldn't know).

rocksongwriter · Answer

"So I work with a guy who is a rock star..." What do you mean by "rock star"?  Has he sold a lot of albums?

outdoorfreak · Answer

If this is REALLY what he's doing he's hot for you.

However, I get the impression half of what you say is crap...I think you probably HOPE he's hope for you.

If you want to go out with him just ask him...but check if he has a girlie first..

luvmirage · Answer

I would think that he is interested in you, but cannot do anything because of his marriage.  Guys act differently around women they have feelings for.  especially if he cannot act on them

sweet_tin · Answer

I'm in the exact situation... if you ever get the feedbacks I would love to know...
or sometimes he makes him busy but still stare at me even if there are things blocking his view he still manage to look at me.. ugh.. confused

Shizzy · Answer

I think he likes you but is afraid to say something becuase you know or find out he is married.

Sour_Diesel · Answer

File a suit for sexual harrassment,

Guys - Help me out please- I am really confused about my coworker

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Guys - Help me out please- I am really confused about my coworker

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