10 Lessons Learned from South Park Elementary

Fuck introductions. Here are ten lessons learned from South Park elementary

1) Don't vote for what you don't believe in

Whenever people ask me who I'm voting for I tell them I'm voting for nobody. That's a given. Their next question: Which nobody? Maybe Gary Johnson. The libertarian who smokes pot. Because fuck Clinton, and fuck Trump. And fuck this election. You can give me a long speech about how great Hillary is or you can give me a long speech about how great Donald is. I don't want to hear it.

Voting for somebody means you support them. So, if you don't support anybody, don't vote. I especially enjoy the argument "how are you part of a democracy if you don't vote." Here's a question: "How are you part of a democracy if you don't have the freedom to choose not to vote for anybody. I think that's a better question.

I'll vote Gary Johnson if he has a chance. Otherwise, I'm voting nobody. And as South Park shows, voting for nobody is totally fine.

We already have too many fucking parties. I suggest we cut out about three of them and stick with these four: Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Independents and add this one: no-votes. No-votes simply register not to vote and then show up and don't vote.

2) Procrastinate

If you come away from this MyTake having learned one thing, It probably shouldn't be this.

If you didn't already know this, you do now. South Park is made in six days. That means only about two days are spent writing the script, if that. (I think) Every episode in season 19-hailed as one of the best seasons of SP of all time- was made in just six days. If a South Park episode can be made in six days, your shitty English essay should only take a couple hours.

See, in school you are taught that procrastination is bad. That in order to produce good work you need to plan and schedule. And hey, for some people that's true. But if you're like me the issue isn't that you procrastinate, the issue is that your teachers simply don't understand you.

As a self-described writer, I don't know how much it sucks to have writer's block. And the reason I don't know is because I don't attempt to plan out and schedule my essay. I do it spontaneously on the spot. As an other-described narcissist I do know how amazing you feel when your essay which you worked the night before gets an A+++ and that model student's essay (which they started a month before it was assigned with special permission from the teacher) gets a C.

I can't and won't guarantee good results from procrastinating. But I'm telling you, give it a try. If you are someone who schedules and plans try not scheduling and planning for once and just making something on the spot. You might produce some really good shit. Or, you might just produce shit.

You'll never know until you try.

3) Look at both sides

I was googling a picture I could use for this point. I figured I'd find something which illustrated harmony. I found nothing. Not one fucking thing. Well, correction: I found nothing that was compatible with this site and large enough.

But the fact that I couldn't find a single picture I could use for this MyTake of conservatives and liberals getting along but I could find many pictures I could use for this MyTake of conservatives and liberals fighting is telling: People still subscribe to the belief that the opposite side is "bad" or "weak" or "stupid." Just because it is the opposite side.

Growing up, I experienced this firsthand. My parents are both staunch liberals. I consider myself independent (which basically means people will classify me as whatever they want to, determined to see me as either liberal or conservative.) My parents will frequently make statements about conservatives usually along the lines of "that person is a bigot." When I ask why, they simply say "Conservatives are bigots. Conservatives are closed minded. Conservatives (Insert insult here)."

It wasn't until later on in life when I met some conservatives that I realized conservatives are not the horrible people my parents made them out to be. Even still, I find myself judging people for being conservative, due to how I was conditioned to think growing up.

There are more pictures of elephants and donkeys getting along then there are of conservatives and liberals getting alone. That should tell you something, considering donkeys and elephants are almost never found in the same area.

There are logical reasons to be conservative and logical reasons to be liberal. And logical reasons to vote liberal on certain issues and conservative on others. Realize this. Don't be a douche or a turd.

4) Call out mistakes

When a politician does something shitty, South Park calls them out on it. When a celebrity does something shitty, South Park calls them out on it. When something shitty is going on, South park calls them out on it. Because shitty things don't smell right.

You, as an individual with individual thoughts and feelings, should never be afraid to express what you think. Whatever side of the aisle you may fall on.

Three of my six MyTakes are about black lives matter. In retrospect, I was pretty much just beating a dead horse over and over again. Only one, or at the most two of them should actually exist. Probably one.

My original MyTake was obvious- all races should get along, all races should be involved when discussing race. My follow up was a MyTake about problems in the Black Lives Matter movement and solutions to said problems. This was somewhat controversial.

After doing these two, I was debating whether to do a third MyTake, about racism whites face. I was 100% sure I would get backlash.

In the end I decided, fuck it. It got some backlash but that was probably my favorite MyTake of the three, despite being the most controversial. I didn't constantly state over and over again that whites face less racism. I just said what I had to say without a ton of disclaimers and clarifications.

Before, I certainly wouldn't have. Before I would have done a MyTake about fixing your sleep schedule or something pointless like that. I'm not saying everything has to be controversial, and I'm not saying those MyTakes don't have value- I'm just saying, express yourself. Don't be afraid of controversy.

5) Stand by what you say

South park has never apologized. South Park has never deleted or altered an episode after airing it (episode 201 was altered before airing). South park has expressed some pretty controversial viewpoints.

There's been a couple times I posted something on this site and I immediately wanted to go anonymous. I overreacted, I sounded stupid, I said something I shouldn't have. I've certainly done that before, on other websites. But, in the end I said what I said and it came from my fingers. If I get backlash, I get backlash. That's the way I see it. On the internet, people can make profile after profile after profile. But maybe that's not such a good thing. Maybe people should stand by what they say.

I don't want it to sound like I'm patting myself on the back, because I'm not. (actually, I kind of am, but fuck it.) Most people do stand by what they said. But, at the same time, I've seen people go anonymous to express very controversial viewpoints.

I've anonymized one time on this website. A minute later I unanonymized. My comment was not met with the criticism I thought it was going to be met with. But even if it was, I still said it.

Don't make a new profile. Don't go anonymous. Don't attempt to delete what you said. You said it. Stand by it. Apologize if you want. But don't act like you never said it. Don't be a

6) You don't always have to be nice

South Park teaches us that being nice isn't always the answer.

If you're having a debate with somebody and some insults get thrown around- who cares, that's how debates go. Debates get heated. People get heated. Not everything has to be sunshine and rainbows all the time ("no shit sherlock.")

If somebody insults you, you can take the high road. Or, you can insult them back. Being nice all the time means being a doormat. Don't be a doormat.

If you insult me or this MyTake, I will respond in kind. Fair warning.

7) If you want something, go get it (Work Hard)

Imagine wanting to make a cartoon. In order to make this cartoon, you have to painstakingly place and replace construction paper. For every shot, you might have do do that ten or more times. Sounds tedious. Sounds horrible, right?

But that's precisely how South Park was originally made. Remember, South Park wasn't a huge success at this time. So basically Matt Stone and Trey Parker went to all this trouble and jumped through all these hoops to produce a (visually) low quality cartoon with no guarantee of success.

Isn't that fucking inspiring? How many times have you started a project and given up because it was just to amateurish and you didn't think anything would come of this. Maybe, just maybe if you had continued and hadn't thrown in the towel you would be swimming in your private hot tub swimming pool right now instead of sitting on your ass reading this.

8) Keep an Open Mind

The other day I posted a question on here regarding homophobia. I figured the question was phrased well and I had said exactly what I wanted to say. Only after reading the responses and backlash, did I realize that was incorrect.

I got completely fucking schooled. I had to damage control and clarify what I meant.

But even then, I hadn't thought the subject through entirely. It hadn't occurred to me that there was a difference between tolerating and accepting something and that there was really nothing wrong with other people who thought in a way that contradicted what I thought (should have realized this to begin with.) I considered myself open minded but I realized I was surprisingly close minded with the question I asked.

Regardless of what your views on things are, keep an open mind. I don't know if South Park has actually taught that lesson or not, but the show has certainly opened up my mind. The great thing about South Park is that it offends everybody. So everybody is targeted and everybody gets to feel stupid and ignorant. And that's great. We're all stupid and ignorant. It's important to realize that.

9) Spot connections

South park is great at tying two separate things together. Ads and gentrification for instance, in the last season.

South Park is great at illustrating how things connect in ways that people may not have thought of before. As a detail-oriented person I sometimes have trouble seeing the big picture and seeing how everything connects together, and South Park often gives me the insight I'm lacking.

So, let me wrap up by connecting all the ideas together, in South park fashion. How does each idea pertain to this post?

Don't vote for what you don't believe in-if you don't like this MyTake, don't upvote it.

Procrastinate-This MyTake was written on the spot, no planning ahead whatsoever. Maybe it's great, or maybe it's shit. Feel free to let me know.

Look at both sides- Share your views down below

Call out mistakes- See a mistake. Call it out.

Stand by what you say- No matter what, this stays up

You don't always have to be nice- If you think this MyTake is shit, say it's shit. Don't beat around the bush.

Work Hard- Of all the MyTakes I've done, this was by far the most time consuming. It also has the most cursing and potentially offensive content, so I may have done all this work for nothing, but at least I put in the work.

Keep an open mind- Think about what I said in this MyTake, and I'll consider other points of view.

10) Write while sleep deprived (don't actually though)

Wasn't in the MyTake, but much like South Park I am writing this as I'm falling asleep. I honestly don't know if this makes any sense or not. Hopefully it does. If it doesn't, Fuck it.

GoldMeddle is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
Who are Editors?

Join the discussion



What Girls Said 3

  • 1mo

    Hopefully you'll be able to vote for Gary Johnson but if not and before you stop reading I'm not trying to convince you to vote for Trump or Clinton specifically I couldn't care less which way you go however I want to ask you this.

    Do you not hate or dislike one of them more than the other or feel like one is going to screw the country over more than the other? All I can say is every vote counts and people always say they don't care and later complain about that president and how they won and how shitty they are and how the country is going down hill.

    So if that's you just remember you and your nonexistent small vote is partially to blame.

    • 1mo

      Anyway excellent take nonetheless 👌

  • 1mo

    You know what. Fuck your fucking face uncle fucker.
    Nice take :)

  • 1mo

    God, I love South Park. I just watched Six Days to Air again a few days ago and have been on a binge of the show. So many connections to everyday happenings, it's great.


What Guys Said 6

  • 1mo

    This is a TV show where little people teach us things and make us laugh.

    • 1mo

      @Library yeah, stark contrast to this MyTake. But you know... why not?

    • 1mo

      Yeah I just added my thought on this but I also think one of the goals of TV shows is to teach us life lessons.

  • 1mo

    South Park is a truly great show. Discovered it at age 16. Binge watched every single season.

  • 1mo

    You forgot about the most important lesson of all :P


  • 1mo

    South Park also taught me never to fart on another mans balls.

  • 1mo

    I don't know South Park but I agree with 9 of your points except 10 don't write while tired or drunk, who knows what you will say or how you will say it, old adage if you are explaining what you really meant, you are losing.

  • 1mo

    Suck my balls you shit faced cock master!
    I really liked your take.