I wrote this. I could use some constructive criticism?

I wrote this. I could use some constructive criticism ?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Typo
    A parallel universe of life AND death

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What Girls Said 1

  • "A parallel universe of life **and death" you forgot to add in the word 'and'
    Also, the last line of the poem should be reworded, maybe to this? "the icy grip of winter descends upon the scene, casting a dark shadow over the trees"
    I don't know lol, just a suggestion. I hope I helped you get a better idea of how to improve it. You write beautifully.

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