What do you think of this poem I wrote?

I trusted you with all my heart, hand and hand we were like a art. Your smile bought delight and joy to my soul, your words were strong and your charm was bold. My eyes glistened when I stood next to you because I knew I could trust you, thought I'd never be mislead. You helped me rescue kayo and your words gave me life. Little did I know of the evil in sight. And now I drown at the bottom of the lake, trusting you was a big mistake.What do you think of this poem I wrote?

  • Great! :D
    0% (0)25% (1)14% (1)Vote
  • Bad
    33% (1)25% (1)29% (2)Vote
  • Okay
    67% (2)50% (2)57% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Come on...


Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • in my professional (i'm a writer and reviewer)'s opinions, i honestly don't care for it. the rhyme feels forced, and the subject matter is a lot like a marshmallow at a barbecue... overdone; burnt to a crisp, and then cooked for 15 minutes more. there is nothing unique that makes this stand out.

    that said, i'll give you an a for effort. as long as you keep practicing, you'll get better at it and start writing to your strengths.


    now, before people get offended or tell me what a horrible person i am, i will say this: our opinions aren't important. if writing helps, then go for it. i just think that i would be doing the op a disservice by lying to her.

    • This is my first poem. Your the first person who didn't like it. :p

    • Show All
    • honestly? yes, it would shock me. but not because you're a bad writer~ because you lack the experience and maturity to write to your strengths.

      that said, it depends on the contest. if you're up against people your own age and skill level (like a classroom competition, or even school-wide), that's believable.

      however, if you were to compete against a broader group (all ages and skill levels), those of us with more practice would ultimately win out because we know what our strengths are and can better write to those strengths. we also have more life experience and a wider vocabulary with which to express ourselves, thus more creative imagery and an easier time connecting with people emotionally.

      again, i want to restate that you are not a bad writer (just inexperienced) and that, with time and practice, you will get better.


    • It's a school wide contest. :3