I trusted you with all my heart, hand and hand we were like a art. Your smile bought delight and joy to my soul, your words were strong and your charm was bold. My eyes glistened when I stood next to you because I knew I could trust you, thought I'd never be mislead. You helped me rescue kayo and your words gave me life. Little did I know of the evil in sight. And now I drown at the bottom of the lake, trusting you was a big mistake.
in my professional (i'm a writer and reviewer)'s opinions, i honestly don't care for it. the rhyme feels forced, and the subject matter is a lot like a marshmallow at a barbecue... overdone; burnt to a crisp, and then cooked for 15 minutes more. there is nothing unique that makes this stand out.
that said, i'll give you an a for effort. as long as you keep practicing, you'll get better at it and start writing to your strengths.
now, before people get offended or tell me what a horrible person i am, i will say this: our opinions aren't important. if writing helps, then go for it. i just think that i would be doing the op a disservice by lying to her.