Why is a woman considered bitter if she decides to focus on herself and not put a lot of effort into guys and be selfish?

I use to put a lot of energy into men when i fell for them. I wasted time and I did not worry about my well being. Now i am talking to 2 guys and instead of putting effort into it, I am focused on what I want. Because why would I put effort into something and not know the outcome?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Technically it's not being bitter. Sometimes people perceive that kind of behavior as being stuck-up or snobby. Not saying it is but some people do look at it that way.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That is not bitter that is standing up for yourself.

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What Guys Said 11

  • There's nothing wrong with focusing on yourself but don't string someone along if you're not going to respect their time. It takes effort from both sides to make it work. You may just need to be single from what it sounds like.

    by the way there's nothing wrong with talking to multiple people at the same time. Just be upfront about not wanting a relationship or at minimum don't tell them what you're doing.

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    • 20d

      I have been single for 3 years, im ready to talk to men and I will talk to multiple men because i have options.

    • 19d

      That what I was saying. As long as you're ready and not just leading them on it's all good. Have fun, find the right person, be happy.

  • Women say the same things about guys like that too.

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  • This isn't a female-exclusive issue.

    Men are also considered bitter if they decide not to focus on women. Just look at men who call themselves MGTOW.

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  • Because the change is directly related to the negatives from your past.

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    • 20d

      You don't allow yourself to have that same openess/trust. That's bitter

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    • 19d

      I wasn't aware anything I said was intended to disprove your point... lol. You asked "why?" so I told you why. Never said you were wrong.

    • 19d

      If your reasoning was that you're trying something new, because what you did before wasn't working. Then ok. But what you described was being jaded. You're hedging your bets, because you don't feel you can trust. That's called bitter.

      If I brought my hurt feelings from my last relationship into a new relationship I would be acting bitter. Because I'm unwilling to give this girl a part of me because "what if" it goes wrong. Guys who are wounded bears are bitter and carrying that hurt. Girls who untrusting of men because of their past are bitter and carrying that hurt.

  • I tend to put make myself a priority, and then after I take care of myself then I will take care of others.

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  • Preventing yourself from being obnoxiously obsessive is a good way to treat that symptom.

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  • There are lots of girls who I'm not interested in. And if they want to focus on themselves and stay single, why not. But please, do not struggle with wanting me or not.

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  • That's it your a prude hahheahhahahhahhahahhhhhahhhhhahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahah

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  • Driven maybe but not maybe good girlfriend/wife material. I respect your choice.

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  • I'm the same as you, but who says women are bitter for doing that?

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  • You think just like me.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Being with someone just seems like more of a liability now. I'm concerned about self-preservation. I'd love to be with someone but that's more of a luxury for other people who have their lives in good order.

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  • They have to be bitter cuz you're not focusing on them lol you're only one person, if you not happy then what's the point

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  • I have no idea.

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  • because the world doesn't like an independent women...

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