Why does my girlfriend need space?

[Marco123]

Hello, Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 8 months it will be nine tomorrow. Three days ago we got into a little fight over me wanting to see her and she wanting to be with just her friends. I got over it but she didn't. The next day she told me she needs space and she put us on "BREAK". This has never been a problem before so I'm confused. I love this girl with my entire heart and I hope I'm with her for a very long time. I told her I would do whatever it takes to make this is work. Our 9 month anniversary is tomorrow and I still haven't talked to her. I am really worried and I just want her back more than anything. I'm really scared she is going to break up with me or that she is messing around with another guy. I'm trying to not talk to her but I just need to know that after this break she will come back to me. I'm scared what do I do?

[Anonymous]

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[tex151]

She feels crowded, and your getting needy. You should have not cared that she was going to hang out with her friends, a man only needs to care when she says she wants to hang out with an ex boyfriend. Give her space, when you talk to her again its very simple what to say, say sorry that I overreacted the other night, I know you just wanted to go and hang out with your friends, in the future if you want to hang out with your friends I completely understand. The important thing here is DO NOT call her over and over and over, too late right you already did it, now your in trouble, ok just let her have her space if you keep bugging her she will run from you because you will be seen as needy. The best thing to do is when you see her again kiss her not some little peck on the cheek either, you gotta kiss her like you mean it , and then say I'm not mad at you, we can talk when your ready to. Then walk away not from the relationship but walk away from her at that moment. If she still likes you she will tell you to stay or if she's still pissed and still wants the relationship she will call you, who knows maybe even come over to your house.

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[WhatIsLove]

I'm going through the very same thing with my boyfriend. I told him I need space because I feel very crowded. I'm sure your girlfriend loves you but I'm also sure she wants alone time and time to be independent from another person. It's very easy to "lose" ourselves once were in a relationship and time apart is usually a good and healthy thing. I'm sure she will appreciate your understanding. Good luck!

[aplfalcon]

I'm in the same situation. Just yesterday, my girlfriend and I had a big fight (while drunk) wherein she told me that she needs space. She told me that she feels like she's lost a part of herself, that she no longer feels like the free spirit I met, and that she feels like she's missing out on life.

She had been signaling this to me for the past couple of weeks, but I thought it was just the normal ups and downs of a relationship. It wasn't.

The bottom line is that you can't make someone love you. Ever. I told this to my girlfriend after our argument, and I told her that I want her to be happy, so I'll give her space to her. In this type of situation, you kind of have to plan for the worse and hope for the best. I don't expect to get back together with her. Of course, I want to so much, and I love her dearly. But there's nothing I can do right now to make her want to be with me. It would be fake.

So, just try to come to terms with your "break" situation. In my book, a "break" is the same as breaking up, but with the option of getting back together. As long as you love her, that option of getting back together is up to her, not you. Just stay out of her life until she calls you - do not call her, do not visit her work, do not go to her house, do not talk about her to her friends. Occupy yourself with things that you've always wanted to do -- get a gym membership, go hiking, or whatever.

The best thing you can do to increase the chance of her wanting to see you again -- is to not reach out to her unless she reaches out to you.

Hope this helps.

[versusforward]

Wow, aplfalcon. I did a random search on google for "why does my girlfriend need space" and your response to the above question exactly sums up what I'm going through currently. It's almost disturbing how accurate even the wording you used. "free spirit" "lost a part of herself" the while-drunk fight, "missing out on life" etc. And again, I thought this was the ups and downs as well. It's nice (?) to know other people have gotten through this. Thank you. -M

[AJtogo]

It's done, time to move on.

Seriously guy, you can't make anyone be in a relationship. If she wants out, then let her go. Sure, you may be heartbroken over it but that's ok, time will heal it. If you have treated her well during your 9 months and she still tells you she needs a break then there's nothing you can do about it but give it to her.

AND, don't ever let her know she hurt you.

[Avalace]

Geez, could you be more needy? Of course she is going to need space if you want to cling on to her 24/7. Let her go out with her friends and have time for herself. You should probably do the same.

[Ben-There]

The reason she wants a break is she is till trying to see what's out there you guys are young and that's what young people do so if I were you then let her go if she comes back then no worries but if not then you have not been waisting your time waiting for her. Besides maybe you might find a girl who will put as much and care as much for you as you do her. A sure fire way to tell is when your girlfriend walk side by side with you not in front of you or behind you

[Anonymous]

This happen to most of us, I would give her her space for a couple of days then call her to hang out with some friends, just in case she still needs the space.