I was in a library when I started playing this; I could not help but laugh out loud... VERY LITERALLY!
You need to update your question stating something alongs the lines of:
DISCLAIMER! What you are about to listen to is unbelievably hilarious; albeit sad. You will laugh and feel like a douche afterward for laughing so hard at this poor girl, but there is nothing you can do about it.
Omg that girls nuts!