My ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend?

...but had sex with me.

ok well me and my ex were dating for 17months and we were each others first loves. I loved him more than anything in the world. But he always accused me of cheating with this guy that was JUST MY FRIEND! I did lay on a couch with him tho and I did make out with him once but me and my ex were on a break up at the time I never cheated on my ex never and I know he never cheated on me.


one day he stressed me out so much telling me to choose between him or my friend I said I would choose him anytime he needed me but then he said that I could never talk to my fiend again I was sick of argueing with him and feeling controled I wanted to live so I broke up with him.


after the break up I felt like shit I felt I made the biggest mistake of my life! I was so heartbroken I cried myself to sleep everynight he started hanging out with this new girl that was one of my friends he always met her outside her class and they were flirting none stop infront of me like a day after we break up.


then I find out he asks her on a date a week after we break up and they got o the movie and make out. she tells me that he just needed a friend.


then 2 weeks after we break up he says he's sorry and she could never make him feel the way that I made him feel and that he would never break my heart again! it took a lot but since I still loved him I forgave him everything was going great! I was so happy then he starts crying and says he's confused and crazy! he says that he should have never hurt the girls feelings and so he gets up and leaves and dosnt even say goodbye. so I'm sitting there wondering if I'm dating him or what the hell just happened then I find out he went over to her house after he left mine,


he starts dating her a month after we break up and all this then he starts sending me text saying that he thinks he rushed the relationship and he's afraid of me getting a new boyfriend.


then he asks me if I want to see his new car. I wasn't doing anything so I said ok, then he grabs my face and I ask him what's he doing and he says he doesn't know and we start making out and start having sex in the back seat of his car all day.


he never cheated on me when we were dating and he didn't seem to care that he had cheated on his new girlfriend, he says that his new girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with him for a long time because all her other boyfriends just used her for sex so she doesn't want that to happen to her again.. I feel used and I don't know what to do like we had something special when we were dating and now he's changed soo much like I can't believe he cheated on her. he always told me that he never seen the point in cheating when we dated,


what should I do?

Updates:
well I told my ex that I said some things to my friends about what happened that he cheated and I told him to tell his girlfriend before someone else does and so I get a fb msg from her say that I'm a liar and I'm making this all up.
ok so he broke up with his girlfriend and he's saying that he likes me and misses me but he's already done this to me b4 its hard to believe anything he says we hangout and talk and its great we still have sex tho. and I'm so scared of loving him again
i am major depressed. I have lost over 40pounds since this has all started. I can't eat I'm stressed from family and work and I'm only effin 16 its nuts!. I need help like I want to get him outta my life I just can't do it I've tried everything.
 

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What Girls Said 23

What Guys Said 16

  • Selected as most helpful

    He's a complete waste of your time... you're young and there are plenty more better fishes in the sea. Don't stress yourself over one dude, it's so not worth your time.

  • one find a stress release try yoga... two let go of everything that's hindering you. three...start over its hard letting a guy go devote your self to sommething worth yourtime and don't center him.its what's making you stressed.

  • This guy is clearly using you. Sounds like he was your first boyfriend, but he's not the guy you fell in love with anymore if he will cheat on this girlfriend. He just knows that you'll always be waiting for him, and is abusing his power over you. You sound like an awesome and very loving girl, and it's mature of you to not tell her personally about the sex. There are far better guys out there than this scumbag. You deserve a good guy, and you might need to get away from him (transfer schools, go to different colleges) because you can't get over him if you still see him around. You need to find meaning in your life other than him, pursue the careers or dreams (if you want to help teach underprivileged children, be a CEO, or save the climate) you care about.


    I know how you feel because after my boyfriend and I broke up, he met this other girl and began calling / texting her every day. But then he began playing me and told me he still had strong feelings for me, we had amazing sex on a dozen occasions and I thought we would get back together, but he's flirting and telling this girl lovey-dovey things like how happy she makes him at the same time. I'm really tempted to tell this other girl that we've had sex because she doesn't know. I'm stronger than this though, I know I will meet cooler guys than him and hopefully have a promising career in business ahead of me.

  • I just came across this and I just had to post my comment, sory if I'm hurting anyone's feelings with this:


    ...this guy that was JUST MY FRIEND...

    I did lay on a couch with him tho and I did makeout with him once but me and my ex were on a break up at the time


    -> so you did cheat on him! sory to say this, but serves you right Ho! Seems to lme that you're the one confused and he didn't know how to handle it ... You want one straight piece of advice to solve all your problems? just stop fking him? how simple is that? Jesus, get a brain girl!

  • lol he's like my boyfriend but the difference is I'm there to help him through..he loves his ex but he wants to get over her..they still see each other but I told him to see her from 3 times a week to 1s a week until he could afford to see her nomore..lately he hasn't seen her for 2 weeks she's at the shore..he got more closer to me,and we are getting married.i said ill take the risk for us I know you are weak for now but thank you very much for letting me in ur heart..im here you won't lose nothing but gain..she is lovely and I am lovely my way..he is really good to me..

  • I agree with that rudy girl. I know how bad it hurts, but you need to tell him that you're not going to be his f** buddy anymore. Believe me, I've been in the same situation and you will feel so much stronger if you are the one who ends it.

  • What do you mean by make out? Did you cheat or what?

    Maybe he's angry about that, you don't even admit that you MAY have done something wrong.

  • oh my goodness honey. Cut that boy off! If he wants you...tell him to wine and dine you without any sex! He has to work for it now. He already messed up and was playing games. I say dump his booty to the side. But, its hard. So as a back up, just make him work for it!

  • i think he immature && needs 2 grow up plus I don't think he knows who he wants or loves like all he wants is sex && with guys that's what makes them change. you must really like him but I think you need someone way better who won't just want sex from you all the time that will do other things with u. plus he have you choose between a friend & him which ur friend had nothing 2 do with ur realtionship with ur bf.

  • OMG! You are a Dumb Ass! You don't see that the ony thing he's using you for is to have sex. you are his F*** Buddy. If he cheated on her then he might have cheated on you too. that's something to look at. END IT!

  • Move on. Tell him to F*** Off, and to leave you alone. He is just using you. And he isn't worth your feelings.

  • yeh you should give yourself pride..youu both are cheaters and you deserve the pains you are into now..but regret and make better people.or if you can just start fresh with another man and make a good girlfriend that would nevercheat..even if the guy you said you made out with was just a friend it doesn't change the fact that you cheated on your boyfriend.if you are in relationship with someone you don't just decide for yourself you have to include him.he has the reason to date another girl in aweek or so to show you she could find another girl that quick but he choosed to be with you and now he created another problem.both o yas should just move on and find fresh love becuase that kina relationship you're in now?would just end up hurting you both.get out while its early.

  • STOP FUCKING HIM.

    move on please. I know its hard to hear but he keeps messin with your head and you'll just get hurt more in the longrun.

  • i noe its hard because yu loved him so much ;

    but whut each time he breaks up with yu has a nother girl wants sex he's gonna go to yu .

    thats how he sees it .

    im srry but yur too good .

    get out of it .

    yur already in deep but yu don't wnna dig yur own grave just

    leave no more texting him .

    move on ;

    --good luck .

  • have respect for yourself! he come back to you mainly isn't it just for sex? he is still young.. he is not going to stop with you.. dude don't let him uesd you!

  • this guy sounds like a player or if he isn't, he's very indecisive.


    so you see how he is, what is going to stop him from cheating on you if you like hook up with this guy?

    i don't think he's serious.

    i mean if a guy did that to me, I would tell him to go die or just to f*** himself.

    that sucks.

    he obviously has no respect for women

  • I Don't Think You should keep going back to him. cut him off completely you seem like you have much ahead of you the last thing you need is a selfish bastard like him holding you back. find yourself a guy who deserves you and leave your Ex in the past.



    ;&.Good Luck!





    -Karl!

  • girl I've been in your shoes before. sucks to be that "other girl" but you having sex with him means that he still has feelings for you, sexually & emotionally.

  • he's just treating you as a rebooty... and as rudybooty said, you're still young, you've got plenty more chances out there!

    good lucks with everything ;)

  • i think he still loves you. but he doesn't want to be with you. if he has a new girlfriend and she doesn't want to have sex with him, he will come back to you just for the sex. I know because this just happened to me... now he is with one of his co workers how weird huh , Just becarefull us gurls give our heart away too easily

  • basically he wants to be with his new girl friend and have sex with you. you definitely deserve better!

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  • nothing more than just a booty call

  • sounds to me like he's using you as a crutch. he's a teenager and has no idea what the hell he wants. if he's just gonna run back and forth to you at his own leasure, he doesn't value you like you do him. don't settle for that sh*t. and the fact that he was coming to you for sex when his other girl wouldnt, is extremely low of him. if I were you I would break it off entirely. stop sleeping with him 1st of all. don't give him the time of day. blow him off, make him feel like sh*t because it sounds like that's exactly what he is. make him understand that you are far more important than he is and you by no means need him in your life. it will hurt, that's for sure, but your still young and you sound like a sweet girl, and it won't be long before a more quality guy takes an interest in you. don't do it to get back at him, do it to move on. because it sounds like he is not going to change who he is for you. right now he's getting exactly what he wants and he's not giving you anything you deserve. its not going to be easy, it never is. but eventually you will have moved on and you'll be asking yourself "what the hell did I ever see in that douche?" I really hope things turn out well for you , and I hope that I was helpful. good luck :)

  • Keep in mind that you are only 16 and have many more heartbreaks to measure against this one. I am not trying to dismiss your pain or how real it feels, because I remember one similar when I was 17. That was over 30 years ago, and now I barely remember her name.


    She ended up marrying one of my good friends. So I lost her and my friend. Turns out that neither of them were major contributors to my life. It did take me almost a year to get over her, but once I decided to let it go, it got a whole lot easier. Love is usually painful until replaced.


    Good Luck,

    James

  • ur ex.boy is confused and I don't fink you should be an in it with him..k

  • Looks like he likes a lot of things about you and some things he does not like and does not know how to tell them to you. Also, he seems to have some deep psychological issues. He needs to become more mature before he can be in a loving relationship.

  • He is confused, you need to ask him straight up what he wants. You, or her. You were each others first and your more than just a f*** buddy when he's lonely. He sounds like a really goo guy but he is confused and I would be shocked if he wasnt thinking the same things you are. Your both scared and confused and have all you need for a good relationship. He just needs to straighten things out in his mind. Good luck you two, I hope you two will stay together once and for all

  • Just some insight from an older guy. the only reason most straight boys are friends with girls is that they like them or just want in her pants. girls don't get that

  • I think you are smart to save your heart. Your body is another thing, and since he is a previous lover, maybe he is a good choice for now. Time will direct you as to who you should be with, but most important, don't give up your guy friend, because he might end up being "the one".


    Good Luck

    James

  • question how does it make you feel that he has had lots of sex with another girl? or maybe more girls? have you had sex with guys too? how does a person do that?

  • If he's dating someone and had sex with you. He's a bad road. No matter what just don't go for him.

  • Ok, I've read your story and I guess I can understand the whole things.

    First off all, he is a player, I just curious that he has a new car then he probably has a job. Well, plus he has a look, money, and gfs. He seems to have everything now. Look, he broke up with you and tried to date your friend. That's not actually normal, but that is not really special at all, but what happens if a guy does that? There is only one answer for that question. "player", Player is the only question, I think you know it more than I do so you decide it if he is a player or not."stop reading and leave yourself for 15seconds to think about it"


    I have a question, does a girl know that you were his gf? I guess she does right? Look, she knows it but she still wants to date him and this is showing alot. That girl has been in loved with him for a long time and now she has a chance when you both broke up. There is no way he can date her in just only 1 week besides she knows that you and him were in loved. Well, I think you should give up I know its hard to do but if you don't try it then you keep staying like this forever and keep having sex with him in his car or his house instead. And later you realize that he is not your bf, but your friend's boy friend! But that's too late because you had been wasting a lot of your time over a guy who already have a new gf. Remember time can't go back. However, it's not too late. STUMBLE OUT RIGHT NOW! There are a lot of boys in this world, some grow up, some move on, some singles, and some still alive! You don't have to be like this. Don't be afraid of losing a toy. Boys are toys for girl just thinking it. I'm a boy too and I think if a girl thinks that I respect her more because at least she knows that boys are not as value as something is called value. "BOY ARE TOYS! Remember no one would think your dumb if you decide to move on, but everyone would think it if you choose staying!


    Think about it.

  • It sounds like you have some major drama going on there with this guy. I guess the reason why you broke up with him because you got tired of arguing with him because of his accusations of cheating with his friend. Then you get a message from his girlfriend calling you a liar so I would not confront his girlfriend directly anymore because if you do then there might be a girl on girl big cat fight over this guy. I would talk to him and see if he wants to continue seeing his girlfriend and if he doesn't want to see her then ask him if he wants to change a few things or work things out.. I get the gut feeling that if he used his current girlfriend for sex then he probably will do the same to you. Then you have those feelings of jealously that he is still harboring that he is afraid of you getting a new boyfriend and the drama continues from there. You feel that you both had something special when you where both dating but now he is a different person. For him to be that different person or that person he used to be in your relationship then it means changing himself. If he is going to change then he must do that himself and you cannot convince him to change himself. If he changes himself then he must make that decision. How long will that take? Who knows? What you should really do is to trust your first instinct on this view because you said in your message that you feel used and if he breaks that cycle of using women for sex then you might have a good chance of winning him back in your arms. If he doesn't change and remains the same then when you get back into the relationship you will feel used again. It is never an easy decision when you break up with your first love but sometimes that is the way life is. Life is never going to be easy either. Then again you have that drama and competition to deal with his current girlfriend which could get confrontational.


  • I'm not going to give you advice for the mainline questions, but I do want you to think about the root cause of all this, which is that you got intimate with another guy while "on a break" and that it hurt him. How would you feel if the situation were reversed?

  • Please flag on the play.

    You broke up for a reason the 1st time

    What makes you think it'll be any different the 2nd time?

    Than you break up again,and again(rah,again,rah again)

    it starts to become a cycle my question

    How many chances do you give a guy?

    Ohh duhhh is it because the sex is good?

    Duhhh how dumb can women be?

  • its obvious he still loves you I would say ask him if he wants to try the whole relationship thing again and leave the past the past and start new. the feelings between you two are obvious.

  • He's too confused with himself...get out of it.


    It may seem like coincidence, but the first half of your story resembles mine...I am that FRIEND guy in it. I can imagine how much stress you may go in future...so just gradually come out of it.

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