The up and downsides of a friendship with the opposite gender

Anonymous

The up and downsides of a friendship with the opposite gender


I’ve gained a lot of male friends the last couple of years, some of which became my best friends. And I can’t even imagine my future without these guys, they are simply amazing and I always have a blast hanging out with them.


However not everyone is open for an opposite sex friendship even though it has so many perks! Sure it can annoying, difficult and even tricky from time to time but in the long run it's totally worth it. So I wanted to point out a couple of up and downsides that comes with this kind of friendship.


Let's start with the downsides:


1) Everyone assumes you’re a couple


Like literally everyone: your friends, your family, your teachers/peers, even that sweet old granny in the street gives you a wink and an ‘aw you two are so cute’ look. It gets seriously annoying as you both keep on explaining you are not a pair, you’re just hanging out, you are just friends. Like for real I often find myself lying about hanging out with the guys to my female friends and family cause otherwise they would be thinking something more was going on.


2) Or you’re friends with benefits




So you guys aren’t official? You must be having sex with her/him!"



I hate this one even more than number 1 cause it’s even more awkward and offensive. A platonic sleepover at a guy’s house? Yeah right everyone immediately thinks you two will be getting freaky between the sheets. (I do realize there are just a select group of guys that do not intend to have sex when inviting a girl (friend) for a sleepover but that’s beside the point :p).


3) Or either one of you is gay/ in the friend zone


“He/she hasn’t made a move on you yet? Are they gay?” Or “The poor fella/gal she must be having feelings and you are just being selfish and keeping them in the dreaded friend zone”. Ow come on! It doesn’t always have to mean something else, just friends is just friends.


4) Certain topics aren’t advisable to talk about




Periods, boobs, ball sack sweat, boners yeah no don’t go there…



unless you want it to be uncomfortable we both don’t know what those are like and do not want to know about them. Somethings are better left unsaid unless they ask about it. Why isn’t it advisable talking about your boobs or ass; I've found that guys tend to look at them when you say stuff about it , it’s pretty awkward.


5) Sexual tension


I guess, unless your friend is really ugly, there will always be some tension from time to time. Eventually it dies out, but it can be tricky. When being friends you often forget you are dealing with a man/woman. And when they do stuff that empathizes their gender it can cause some sexual tension. When a woman is dressed up feminine and looks cute/hot/sexy, or when a guy carries you around against his strong chest,… it can be tricky ;).


But obviously the following upsides matter much more than the downsides, who cares what others think anyway! ;


1) It’s refreshing


I feel like both my friendships with male and female friends are great, but they are slightly different. I feel more relaxed with my guy pals, but I feel closer with my female friends. I get appreciation from both sides, and have lots of fun with both my male and female friends. It’s nice to be able to gossip or talk about boys but it’s also fucking awesome to talk about sports and beer.


2) You learn a lot


You get an inside in the mind of a guy/girl and it’s really amazing how much we actually are alike. It’s actually even cute and admirable when my guy friends admit to being sensitive or even secretly using flowery scented soap from their girlfriends cause it smells so much nicer.


3) They are just as amazing as your other same sex friends


They have awesome personalities obviously otherwise they wouldn’t be your friends! It makes no difference what gender you are, what colour of skin you got, what religion you have, it’s all about who you are as a person. How you define yourself. Of course these (gender, religion,…) can form a barrior and/or influence who you are, but it doesn’t necessarily need to.


4) You improve as a person


You learn to interact with both sides, male and female. And unconsciously it helps you to improve yourself as a person. One that understands the other, and has learned values from both sides. It will seriously benefit you in other (romantic) relationships as you understand the opposite gender better. Being able to interact and befriend people from the opposite gender isn’t something narrow minded people could, in my own perception.


5) Certain topics you can talk about easier with opposite sex friends


I find it more difficult to talk about masturbation and sex with my girlfriends at this age. They are quite shy about such topics. I guess because girls are afraid to be judged (mostly by other girls) about their sexuality. With guys not so much, once they get over the initial shock (which lasts like a couple of seconds) that a girl actually masturbates and watches porn, they think you rock! And they don’t make a big deal out of it. A lot of guy friends come to me for advice on their girlfriends, and tell me they can’t talk about or don’t want to talk about these kinds of stuff with their pals.


Things you guys would to add to the list?

The up and downsides of a friendship with the opposite gender
34 Opinion