A lot of people think they are in love with their best friend. These people are wrong.
They confuse best friend love with boyfriend and girlfriend love, and I think the main reason for this confusion is loneliness. I am also guilty of falling into this trap and it has not turned out well at all. Hopefully I can convince some of you that acting on these feelings is not a smart idea if you want to be able to keep them as a friend, and if you want to be able to date anyone else after breaking up with them.
I met this girl a few years ago and at the time I only considered her a friend, because I already had a girlfriend. Eventually I broke up with my girlfriend and this new girl became one of my best friends. She had told me that she liked me several times, but I valued her friendship so much that I always refused her. I had heard, like many of you probably have, that dating ruins friendships. After not having a girlfriend for a while, feeling like I needed someone, and thinking that our friendship was strong enough to withstand a break-up, if that's how things turned out, I started to think that I loved her as well.
We dated and after a few months we broke up. Staying friends was tough but we managed pretty well. Things were kind of like they were before dating, but at the same time they were kind of like they had become while dating. It took me a while to get over her but after her repeatedly reminding me that she had no feelings for me anymore, I managed to move on.
Which brings me to my current situation.
I am dating a new girl and I let her know that my ex was still a good friend of mine and I planned to keep it that way. This is where it gets tricky... I've since found out that my ex is not over me, despite all the times she had insisted she was. My new girlfriend gets upset whenever I talk to my ex, whom I still consider my best friend but have no romantic feelings for whatsoever. And my ex who still has feelings for me gets jealous and unfriendly whenever I go out with my new girlfriend.
I've never had an urge to cheat on any of my girlfriends, and I still don't, but every time I hang out with one of them I feel like I am cheating on the other one. I know that if I want to stay with my new girlfriend, I'm going to have to give up my best friend, and if I want to keep my best friend then I may have to forfeit any girlfriend for as long as we are still friends.
They confuse best friend love with boyfriend and girlfriend love, and I think the main reason for this confusion is loneliness. I am also guilty of falling into this trap and it has not turned out well at all. Hopefully I can convince some of you that acting on these feelings is not a smart idea if you want to be able to keep them as a friend, and if you want to be able to date anyone else after breaking up with them.
"We confuse best friend love with boyfriend and girlfriend love. The main reason - loneliness."
I met this girl a few years ago and at the time I only considered her a friend, because I already had a girlfriend. Eventually I broke up with my girlfriend and this new girl became one of my best friends. She had told me that she liked me several times, but I valued her friendship so much that I always refused her. I had heard, like many of you probably have, that dating ruins friendships. After not having a girlfriend for a while, feeling like I needed someone, and thinking that our friendship was strong enough to withstand a break-up, if that's how things turned out, I started to think that I loved her as well.
We dated and after a few months we broke up. Staying friends was tough but we managed pretty well. Things were kind of like they were before dating, but at the same time they were kind of like they had become while dating. It took me a while to get over her but after her repeatedly reminding me that she had no feelings for me anymore, I managed to move on.
Which brings me to my current situation.
I am dating a new girl and I let her know that my ex was still a good friend of mine and I planned to keep it that way. This is where it gets tricky... I've since found out that my ex is not over me, despite all the times she had insisted she was. My new girlfriend gets upset whenever I talk to my ex, whom I still consider my best friend but have no romantic feelings for whatsoever. And my ex who still has feelings for me gets jealous and unfriendly whenever I go out with my new girlfriend.
I've never had an urge to cheat on any of my girlfriends, and I still don't, but every time I hang out with one of them I feel like I am cheating on the other one. I know that if I want to stay with my new girlfriend, I'm going to have to give up my best friend, and if I want to keep my best friend then I may have to forfeit any girlfriend for as long as we are still friends.
"It could be that they are just such good friends that they make you feel that comfortable and secure."Learn from my mistakes - if you start to feel like you are developing more than friendly feelings for your friend, just realize that those feelings don't necessarily mean you love them like you would your boyfriend or girlfriend. It could be that they are just such good friends that they make you feel that comfortable and secure. Relationships can and will be ruined if you date your best friends, so keep them where they mean most to you.
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