Once you are about 25 and over, it becomes much much harder for you to be able to make friends as an adult. Prior to this time, usually you found friends through school or work, but then around 25 you may have moved to a new city to start a new job leaving all your old friends behind, more people in this age group are getting married and having children and joining differnet social circles, you may be really busy with a new job or a current job leaving little time to socialize, etc. but just because it's not as easy as it used to be to make new friends, doesn't mean it's impossible. So how do you make new friends?
1) Clear your schedule (at least a little bit)
Making new friends is going to require at least a minimal time commitment from you each week or month. If your MO is always, "I just don't have time to make new friends," then guess what, you never will. Step away from your phone, your computer, the office, and/or the tv which involve a lot of time suckage, and figure out how much free time you really have and then use that time for actively trying to make new friends.
2) Get out of the house
No one will ever really and truly get to know you if you baricade yourself in your house and don't leave to go out into the real world where those potential things called friends, actually live. I know its the modern age, and everything is electronic, but making new friends is still one of those things that will require you to kind of sort of (definitely) be there in person.
3) Be More Attractive
No, it's not what you're thinking. I mean be more attractive to potential friends in the sense that you present yourself as somoene who is open, friendly, smiling, and kind. Not to many people are going to want to approach you if you are slumped over with a scowl on your face sitting in a dark corner of the room, but if you are open and smiling and welcoming in situations where you could potentially make friends or to people who are just trying to be friendly towards you, it makes you a much better candidate for someones time and friendship.
4) Get Involved
Where do you find people? Join a church group, volunteer, join a movie watching club, take a cooking class, go to a fun run, join a weight loss circle, participate in a flash mob, join your jobs softball team, take dancing lessons. This goes back to getting out of the house. YOU need to be proactive in your attempts to meet other people. You can't just expect people to come to you. Be active and get involved not only in things you already know how to do, but in new activities where you may need to learn a new skill. It helps you become more engaged, and there are those you will interact with whom you may find some common ground with if you are all trying to learn or do something new you've never done before.
5) Use your pets and/or your kids
If you have kids especially, there is practically no excuse for you not to be able to make new friends. Some new moms and sometimes moms with multiple children tend to self isolate and think that what all they are going through and experiencing is only unique to them. You are defininely not alone in your struggles dealign with poop, endlessly crying babies, teething, potty training, or children who have illness or disabilities. There is a group for you whether that be a support group, a mommies exercise group, a mommy meet-up group, or what have you. Pets are also friend makers. There are a lot of meet up groups for those with dogs in particular where there is a lot of potential for making friends or simply when on a walk, you run into a lot of people who want to pet your dog, or ask you about your dog. Be open, engage, share your stories and you may find yourself with some new friends.
6) Beg, Borrow, Steal
Okay maybe not that last one, but put it out there to the friends and family you may already have, that you are looking for some new friends and who of their friends might they suggest to you. Maybe meet up as a group where they can introduce you and of course, if you are single and only looking for friendship, make it clear that you are not interested in dating this person, but really and truly a friendship.
7) Don't wait for the mountain to come to you
As they say, don't wait for the mountain to come to you, go to the mountain. Don't just assume that you will be the one who is approached by people wanting to be your friend. Approach others, be the one to seek out people, go to the meetups and actively socialize rather then wait around for someone to talk to you.
8) Be the type of friend you'd want
There is the golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated, and this should be a no brainer on your quest to finding and keeping new friendships. Its not simply enough to attend one meetup and expect automatic friendship. Show that you are interested, engaged, committed to showing up and participating in activities with new and potential friends. Don't show up late or keep your ear pressed to your phone. Showcase those qualities to new and potential friends that you want to see in them.
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