Family over individualism

[Kelfuma]

"Society itself is the aggregated structure of family units. Individuals are very temporary as planetary factors — only families are continuing agencies in social evolution. The family is the channel through which the river of culture and knowledge flows from one generation to another." - Urantia Book

I think in our age of rampant consumerism and endless availability of information, it is easy lose sight of what's really important in life. We start thinking that it's just us individuals that matter and nothing else.

But when you get really deep into it, you realize that family is all you have. When everything else fails, it's our families that we turn back to. It's our parents that we confide in, it's our wife that we trust our lives with, it's our children that we want to live for. Otherwise, we are alone and afraid in a world we never made.

You inherited the dreams and desires of your parents, and it is your children that will carry your torch. An individual can only do so much before he runs out of oil and sputters like a broken engine. It's your family that will carry you forward until you can walk again yourself.

My family was always there for me and I can't imagine ever being totally independent from them. Because of them, I was a good student and my teachers liked me. I was respectful, reserved, and serious about my work when others barely got by. My family gave me the strong outlook and goal I have in life - simply said, they made me who I am today.

[GirlsLie]

I do agree that people are the most important thing in life, family, friends, pets, spouses.

But sometimes the best lessons that our family teaches us, is how not to be. And you need to be comfortable/confident with yourself as a person, family can only do so much for you. In the end it's your life and it's your responsibility to be a good person, regardless of your upbringing/family.

We're not all blessed with good families and some of us need to distance ourselves from our families because they're not good people.

I've always wanted a big close family but my family is full of wackos, drug addicts and criminals, sometimes it just happens like that lol.

I also don't think you have to have children to be happy in life, I never want children.

I'm not afraid of being alone and if I had children I wouldn't want them taking care of me in my old age anyway, I would want them to have and enjoy their own lives.

I feel like we're all dealt different circumstances and we only get one life, so why not live it the best we can and do what makes us happy.

[Riggers]

Depends on how close you were with your parents i guess. Clearly you had a strong bond with them, So they mean a lot, Whereas... well.. take me for example.

Honestly, In my entire life, I have probably only ever done maybe 5-10 things with my dad. Now we work together (We literally do not talk at work though), So yeah.. Not close at all.

And, My mother, well... Again, we probably talk for about 1 minute per day at max. And its just awkward small talk.

And i haven't spoken to my sister in about a year. (She moved out)

So, It just depends on the family really, Thats my only family (All the others are dead or live in another country), And, Those 3 people, I rarely speak to, To me, they are just strangers who i share a home with and nothing more. So, Yeah...

[thedevilwithin]

You're very lucky to have such a great family, i think for you that quote is very true to life. The thing is not every family is as great as yours, some are abusive, negligent or just super judgmental that your identity doesn't even exist to them.
I have a great family, very supportive and loving. But i don't turn to my parents for advice. I don't look to them for financial or emotional support and even as a kid i was this way.
When i look really deep into it, there will only ever be me. Just me. My biology and experience will color how i see the world. When i sleep my dreams belong to no-one but myself, in everyday life their are so many feeling tied to some of the most random things and unless you live in my brain no-one could ever possibly understand it.
No-one wants to be alone, we want to feel like we have people who agree with us and believe in us because sometimes we are too scared to be ourselves.
To decide for ourselves and do it ourselves. To take that responsibility of choosing a path through life.
No matter who supports you or influences you, that decision remains yours. Family is great, but yours is the voice you hear most in life. Yours is the voice that guides you.

[coconutelixir]

Nice! I can completely relate to your feelings. In the end, we have to find the right balance of family and independence that we personally are content with. I emphasize it needs to be a personal decision. This factors in the family you have, some are more fortunate and some are less fortunate with what family they were given at birth or during their lifetimes.

I know some people prefer to completely disregard their families' inputs on decisions such as whom to marry... and that's up to them. Personally, I think it's completely legit for your definition of personal happiness to include your family's happiness if that is what is important to you and if that requires some major sacrifices so be it.

[bomba78]

good for you that you were lucky enough to have a great family!
Unfortunately, not everyone has had this privilege and has a very different concept of "family" because of it.

Family can also be a tight group of friends, and for some people, this is even better than "real" family. You can't choose your relatives, but you can choose your friends.

[InconspicuousBox]

My parents have treated me poorly for a long time. They've constantly been disappointed me, made me feel stupid, and acted almost as if it was their goal to give me insecurities about my body. They are hypocritical, judgmental people who are yet to grow up.

I view marriage as an unnecessary formality to prove to everybody else what you already knew--that you're committed. My marriage beliefs are something I may compromise on--however, I will not compromise on not wanting kids. They were never something I wanted for myself.

So no, family is not the most important thing. Not everyone comes from loving families nor wants families of their own. You seem to be under the false impression that one needs a family to be happy and content.

[Kelfuma]

You are 15 and you will grow old. I said that I never wanted children too and that was 6 months ago.

[InconspicuousBox]

But see, I am not you. I know what I want out of my life. I want a career as an author and editor. I also thought being a bartender on the side would be pretty cool. I want to travel a bit, experience Mardi Gras at least once, and take a road trip around the US trying different eateries. I would like a romantic relationship, but it is not a priority for me. I do not, however, want kids. Sure, they're great for a few hours, and they like me, but I wouldn't want them around all the time. I wouldn't want to be responsible for another human life or raise another person. I don't want to spend time, energy, and money on a kid either. I would feel no fulfillment from a kid and have never desired one. It is not a fear thing--I am not afraid that I'd be a bad mom. I just don't want to be one.

[Anonymous]

Fuck families. Fuck them.

They harbor racism, prejudice, anti-intellectualism. They are the enforcers of bad habits, laziness, and incompetence.

The best thing that could happen to this country would be the dissolution of the family unit. All children should be stripped from their parents and raised in camps where they learn useful skills and learn how to function properly in society.

[OrallyFixated]

A society full of psychopaths? Awesome!

[Queen_naki5]

Why the thumbs down? Because he doesn't have the luxury of coming from a great family like the rest of you, he's just venting.

[Anonymous]

I love my siblings more than anything, I'm not very fond of my parents. I feel like our society makes you out to be an outcast if you aren't close to your parents. My parents are extremely backwards in their thinking, feeling their opinion is the only thing that matters. They discouraged me from pursuing a lot of things because they were too afraid themselves.

[RachelBrigs]

Unfortunately, not all people are loved and supported by their family.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

I pretty independent and i only rely on myself and i dont feel alone and scared. I feel indepdent and strong.

[Anonymous]

We have devalued family and the nation, and believe in some global humanity and extreme individualism. You need both the family and the nation as the source of identity, stability, and moral strength.

[UrFutureCrush]

Princess Diana 💖💖💖💖💖💖