I would like to start by saying that you cannot deal with your parents. There is no way they are going to stop trying to control your life, cause they care about you, which makes them think that they know everything that is better for you. At times they are right, however it is YOUR life and YOU have to take responsibilities one day or another. Sure they have a very strict way of showing it but they do love you. I know you might be sitting or standing while looking at this and thinking "Why am i reading this then?" Well if you like then why not read further and find out?
I know the above quote is just one of the thoughts we all think right now but hold on! Just hold on to your seats cause i do have some news for you all. The key to being able to live with your strict parents is to just corporate with them. Try finding that middle ground where you and your parents tend to agree on or just try to live together until you move out. I know the feeling of searching online for help with living with strict parents. Trust me when i say that i regret spending so much time with my friends and not connecting with my parents as they really do care. The main point of this blog is just to show you all my experience in this situation and hopefully give you some tips to figure out a coping technique or a plan to look forward to.
Before i continue, i know there are several definitions of how strict parents can be. The above picture sums up the grading scale for all my school years. I was raised in a very conservative Asian family so my father is pretty strict while my mother is more understanding (At times). That's the reason why i'm closer to my mother as she tries to understand some things and i can talk to her about some stuff in my life. I say some as both my parents do not like me having guy friends or the idea of me moving out. They are also easily influenced by other people and continuously compare me to anyone who does something (that is important to my parents) better than me.
A look into my journey
Below i have put together a short video talking in general about my journey from childhood till now with a technique that i use. I did not put any information that is very personal to me and kept it quite broad for everyone to see the brief outline. I used Biteable.com to make this presentation which i thought was a really nice animation creator tool online. (Please do let me know if you cannot view the video)
Tips on how to maybe cope with strict parents!
I normally use these tips myself when i want to convince my parents or am stuck with something, therefore not all may be right for you. I am just saying my experience and perspective so you are free to try them or disregard them as I do not know your family so would not be able to give u specific advices but i can say things in general.
1. Understand "Why?"
You have to try and see the situations from their perspective too. You should step back from a situation after they say no and maybe just ask them "Why are you saying no?" calmly. If they answer then go to your room and find out what can you do to change the NO to a YES? Maybe try to think past their answer too and think about what you can do to gain the trust that you will be safe. The best thing to do is to negotiate with them if possible to find the time to come home or limit ur drinking to a couple of glasses or say that you will do the house chores for this number of days if they let you go.
2. Your Friends
Try to show the good sides of your friends to your parents and get your friends to earn ur parent's trust because if your parents trust your friends then you get to go out with them. I know for sure that my parents were very happy to let me out longer with the friends they knew and trusted. If they don't like a friend then find out why not and explain why you like them (remember do tell them the things they like to hear but also has to be the truth).
3. Your Future
If you have chosen to stay with your family until you can properly afford to move out then plan about it. Talk to your parents and learn what they have planed for you then maybe use it or get ideas from that. If you are in High School and planning on going to University then find out what you would like to study, would you live with your family or go to another country and afford to live on your own? Maybe find out if you can get scholarships or get a loan for studying in the universities you are applying to. If you are in university then search for ur desired jobs or think about your further study alongside your job. Think about what you want and maybe get tips from what your parents say or do.
4. Be confident in yourself
The most important key to achieving success in anything is to be confident in yourself and the work you have done. Remember that your parents have been strict but that surely has given you lots of skills. From my experience, i have become more focused on working hard and planning more to achieve something. I have acquired the skills to negotiate too because i always felt like i had to sell my ideas to my parents and gained their trust along the way. You have to have confidence in your ideas or anything you want to do then probably your parents will get the confidence in you.
5. Communicate with Your parents
I really cannot say this enough but to be able to live nicely with your parents, try to communicate with them. They won't go into your things if they know that you will talk to them when you need to. When talking with your parents, always make sure to look at what time you can talk to them, what mood they are in and probably talk to them when they do not seem busy. If needed you can always suggest to get help from a psychologist who can help you portray your feelings to or help you communicate with your family. Do listen to what your parents have to say about a situation as well as have the courage to tell them your viewpoint.
Thank you for reading this. Let me know what your think by commenting below. Hope i can help you but if i have missed something or you have a better idea then let me know as well as i am always happy to learn more.
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