It's been a common term to call guys "momma's boys" for being close to their moms, and it's been a long common thing for women to complain about guys loving their moms so much, to the point where a woman feels like he loves his mom more than he loves her, and feeling bad if he compares her food to his mom's. I don't agree with the guys who do this about food - that can be pretty annoying and offensive, so he should be prepared for the fact that his wife's cooking may be different, especially if she's of another ethnicity. I don't exactly disagree with women for feeling that way, especially if a guy won't stand up to his mom when she's contending with his woman, but I do think women don't think about it clearly enough. And sometimes I wonder if women try to frown on a guy loving his mom so much because they're actually jealous, since many don't have any good relationships with their own moms, or both parents really.
How mom has been important...
A guy with a loving mother will always esteem her highly, and it makes sense. Just like if it's with a loving father and his daughter, but a son is always impacted by the love of his mother because she's an example of what a great woman is or can be. She cares. She cooked his favorite meals growing up. She was there for him through his pains. She taught him about life and to be careful of the world because it's a tough place. There's value in that, and that's what matters to a lot of so-called "momma's boys." Be a woman that a man can bury himself into just as much as he does with his mom. I don't think most men just walk into a relationship expecting a woman to be like his mother, but I do think they expect her to have the characteristics of a loving one. I think women miss that.
People seem to think it's cute if a girl's father is wary of her boyfriend, and it's an old, tired scenario in comedy TV and movies for dad to be overprotective and threatening to kill her daughter's man, especially if he thinks he wants to poke her, yet for a woman to be protective of her son is just seen as annoying or even a psychological problem. Why should it be acceptable for dads to be like hawks over their girls, yet women take it as injury for their man's mother to be the same thing?
Some people try to say that guys like me and others who love older women might subconciously love them because of a bond with our mothers. This has been offensive to some older women who date younger men, and I can see why. However, I really don't know if such a statement is really true or not, though I lean more towards not, because if you can try to gauge a guy's relationship based on one with his mom, then you could just as easily say that a guy likes older women because he hasn't had a good relationship with his mom, as if being with an older woman would make up for that. Both ideas are stupid. A guy's sexual attraction and connection with an older woman is nowhere linked with the love of his maternal relationship.
Getting in the way...
Invasive mothers worry that his son's woman is not being the woman she needs/should be for her son, and slighted women feel that she's second best to her mom's son or being monitored by his mother. Neither women are right or wrong to feel the way they feel, and the guy isn't right or wrong with how he feels, but everybody has to work it out. Moms want to make sure that her son's wife is treating him right, being the woman she needs to be. I think that's going to be pretty natural. However, I do believe that at the end of the day it's still the man's relationship and he does have to let his mom know that and not let her make the decisions. It can be tough for some guys who've always had a loving mother though, because she's always been the image of wisdom and understanding, so can sometimes feel like she would know best even in his relationship. I don't excuse it; he does have to make his own decisions and run his own relationship.
Stop and think for a minute...
One thing I would definitely say to women is, consider: think about your own future. One day when you have your own son(s), will you be loving to them, and will you appreciate their love? How would you feel one day if you were the one in the hospital and your sons never came to see you, like your husband went to see his mother while she was sick and you felt that it took his time away from you? That would make you feel abandoned, wouldn't it? You would hate it that they chose their wives over looking after you from time to time. Right now there are sons who go to see their moms often in the hospital, and people tell them they shouldn't care so much, that they should be focused on other things, some of the nurses and staff even make sly jokes about how much they come. These same nurses and staff are the ones who talk about how much it's the daughters who care about their sick loved ones and how the boys never come to see them, yet can joke about some sons who are actually there. Women, how would that make you feel that people would be talking about your sons like that?
How would you feel if one day your sons finally told you you're cooking has never really been that great, and preferred to eat their wives' on the holidays? You don't like that a guy cares about his mom so much, but think about the day when you'll become a mother with sons. I hope you would want them to care about you as much your man cares about his mom. I'm not saying you have to want to be smothered by them, but I do hope you'd expect them to show you what you showed them as a warm, compassionate parent. It's very painful for a woman to have no love from her boys even though she gave them love, just like it hurts for her to fight for her husband's love over his mom's, though it's far more hurtful to not have the care of the kids you brought into this world.
Just some perspective for you to think about.
A special share to the following who may or may not have sons:
And for some of the younger women here to reflect on:
@RJGraveyTrain
@CHARismatic110
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