The 8 Lies We Continuously Tell Other People

Anonymous
The 8 Lies We Continuously Tell Other People

1. I'm not a liar

Yup, that's a lie. There is a glaring reason why this is number one, and that's because every human being on the planet is a liar. Let me just poke about a million holes in the defense of this one. "How are you feeling today?" "Good?" Since it's just between you and me here, how many times have you answered that question with the standard, "good," as opposed to how you were really feeling that day? If you're being honest...for once...probably more than you care to admit. But before you can throw up your hands in consternation, these so called "little white lies," are still lies. Whether they are small or huge, they are still lies that are meant to either get us something, get us through something, spare someone's feelings, or protect ourselves. Often times, even with big lies, we rationalize that we are doing it for the benefit of others, so it's okay, but they really rarely if ever are okay.

2. I don't see color

Lie (well, unless you're blind that is). I really wish people would stop with this lie. It's something individuals say to make themselves feel better. They say this to make themselves seem like they are so incredibly evolved beyond the rest of us and especially to those with said color, but to see someone's skin color DOESN'T, I repeat, DOESN'T make you a racist! It makes you aware of the world around you like seeing that an apple is red, or the light is green. Hell, even the colorblind, see some colors! Stop saying this, because the only people you ever say this to are people of color which indicates that you do in fact see color. Instead of this lie, imagine something a bit more impressive, like, say, treating people the way you want to be treated regardless of their skin color, then no one will have to guess how you treat people and you sure as hell won't have to keep saying "I don't see color" like you deserve a badge for it or something.

The 8 Lies We Continuously Tell Other People

3. It's not you, it's me

No, it's you. You're weird, you're a jerk, you're lazy, you're unattractive, my dog hates you, the sky is blue, yup, it's you. Okay to be fair, maybe a little bit me, a little you, but YOU are the reason we're having a break-up conversation. You just say this because you can't wo/man up and tell the other person the truth so you lie to 'spare their feelings' as best you can, but who's ever actually spared by this? Honestly, who walks away from this type of break-up conversation going, yeah, s/he was right, it was them and I had no part in the reason we broke up whatsoever, good for me...yeah, no one.

4. Sure, I'd love to hang out sometime

Oh please start owning up to this one. My friend once told me that he has learned the difference between people who are genuine with this offer, and those who are not. He told me that if someone says, let's hang out sometime, and he suggests, next week, or for them to give him a specific date/time/location thereabout AND their contact info to allow that to happen, and they sort of dance around the question or give some vague answer about some distant future in a galaxy far far away or don't actually give him a way to contact them be it friend or someone he's getting to know, he knows it's never going to happen, and so far, he's not been wrong, and following his strategy, neither have I. You know when you really are going to hang out with someone and when you're pretty much never going to see them again. Stop making plans that you don't intend to keep. Just admit it. You're busy. You're so busy your eyes are bleeding just thinking about the possibility of adding another bullet point to this list or you really never want to see this person again. Instead of hinting that you supposedly want to hang again, just end with a, hopefully we'll run into each other again in the future, or it's not going to work out, or it was simply nice seeing you again. Period.

The 8 Lies We Continuously Tell Other People

5. I don't care, whatever

Listen buttercup, you do care. You care a lot. People use this lie a lot to disguise just how much they really do care about something or to try to deflect from this. I remember someone once writing a full 3 paragraphs worth of comments in response to something I wrote, just to end with, "but I don't care about this BS you wrote," but it's like, who the hell writes 3 FULL paragraphs about something they don't care about?!? That's the very definition of caring. The thing about this lie is it often comes back to haunt you. Remember, hon, you said you didn't care whether I did this or that or went here or there or whatever the case may be. Then you get pissed because you did actually care, and then you try to actually fault the other person for doing exactly what they wanted because you said you didn't care. Be honest. If something is bothering you in your relationship, with a friend, with a family member, don't let it fester because if you let the person think you don't care, when you really do, that's on you, not them.

6. I weigh x, I'm x years old, I graduated from x

We usually tell these lies about ourselves to others because we feel threatened by our own truth. We actually weigh x, we actually are x years old, we actually never graduated from x. It's denial, it's shame, it's embarrassment about things going on in our lives and we lie because we think it will make us look or feel better, but it rarely does because we cannot lie to ourselves. We do know the truth, and aside from aging, if we want to actually do something about these lies, it will involve us actually investing time and energy into ourselves so that we don't have to lie anymore, and for some, the truth is, they don't want to do anything other than live the lie even though it continues to make them unhappy.

The 8 Lies We Continuously Tell Other People

7. We're friends and that's it

True if it's true, but a loooooooooooot of people are calling this truth when what they want is so much more than a friendship. This lie hurts you more than anyone else because you're hanging on to something that will probably never come to fruition. If you like someone, tell them. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't, move on, but you don't deserve a relationship where you're giving it your all in hopes of something happening and wasting your time, efforts, even money, on someone who is never going to be that for you. That's not their fault that you want more, but it is your fault for not expressing that up front and any feelings of resentment or bitterness that it's not working out for you will be on you because you're the one hanging around in desperation with lofty expectations.

8. I'm okay

We live in a culture of Instagram and Facebook perfection. Everybody has a fantastic online life. Their kids are always smiling and happy, they are always in the newest fashions flitting around town, the muffins always look amazing, everyone is constantly on vacation. It's this constant need for all of us to keep up with the Jones's, but they actually are a figment of our imaginations. It is easy to get into a rhythem of faking your way through life and forcing fake happiness upon yourself or for the sake of others whether that be online or off, but if you really are not okay, and you really are suffering, reach out to someone you can trust, and break down those walls as best you can, and let them know you need help. Don't let it get to a point where the lies are killing you and you can't breath. You'd be surprised just how many other people are often going through some of the same things you are, when you actually sit down and talk about it.

The 8 Lies We Continuously Tell Other People
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