A lot of people are struggling with depression or just feelings of worthlessness about their life. You may be comparing yourself to others whom you think are much better off than you or further in life, or you're stuck in your head and can't see what you have, or perhaps struggling with deeper issues which you may need professional help for, but there are things we can do, and become aware of, that can help us see our lives as they really are and to help us learn to appreciate them more.
1. Do not engage in negative self-talk one upsmanship
If you've ever been with a group of friends or family and someone says, "Oh man, I am so dumb," and you counter back with, "you, no way, look at me, I'm so dumb, I did (fill in blank)." This is negative self-talk. You're not only saying and believing in these things for yourself, but you're telling others about what basically amounts to your own insecurities and self-doubt in your abilities. Why do you need to one up someone with how horrible you think are? This is the worst kind of contest for which there are no winners. Do not engage. And add to that, do not encourage others or validate their negative self-talk because you are only helping to contribute to the problem. Instead, speak more positively about yourself and others and practice validating and encouraging their strengths as well as your own as opposed to always focusing on negativity and perceived weakness.
2. Remember your gratitude
Every day, write down one thing you are grateful for. Maybe it was that your morning coffee being made just right, or your kid slept through the night for the first time, or you're moving to a better apartment, or it was a sunny day. Put them in a box, in a journal, in a jar next to your bed and keep at it. The next time you're feeling down and crappy about your life, read some of what you are grateful for and take note. Whatever you're feeling right then and there, will pass.
3. Volunteer
If all you hear is your own negative thoughts all day long, it's hard to see a world beyond your own struggles. No matter if you are dealing with life's toughest battles or just one bad day, you can still benefit from volunteering and helping others. It is most difficult to know how good you do have it, until you realize that others don't have the same benefits as you. Giving your time also allows you to think about someone else for a minute, other than yourself and your problems.
4. Love something living
If you're finding it hard to make it to the next day, by loving something living---a pet, a plant, a garden, your own children, your nieces/nephews...something...know that they or it needs you each and every day. If you're feeling like you don't matter, you matter to that pet, that kid, or that plant, because without you, and your love, support, food, walking them, caring for them, they cannot survive. In return, those things will love you back, and often times, unconditionally.
5. Take care of yourself
Many times we don't realize that it is our lack of self-care, that is helping to contribute to our lack of love for ourselves. We look in the mirror and we feel run down, exhausted, broken and it's because we haven't been exercising, or eating right, or sleeping well, and/or we have some sort of medical issue that we aren't addressing. Give yourself a break. Several. Plan *at least* once a month (preferably, once a week) to shut down and relax--take a hike, go to the salon, stay in a hotel, do something nice for yourself, and chill. Also really assess your health. If you are lacking in any categories, figure out ways to improve those. Good sleep and exericise and eating right on a regular and consistent basis can go a very long way towards improving ones outlook on themselves and their life.
6. Ditch negative people
We need to be around people who are not going to enable us or keep us in some place mentally we don't want to be in. The things, the people, the places, whatever it is, that drags you down are holding you back from your potential for greatness, feeling better about your life, or from making changes, need to go. If you have to shut that final door on them, or completely distance yourself from them, or have some real talk, do it. You cannot keep feeling like crap for someone else, or for something else. Easy to say, harder to do, but you can do it.
7. See the reality of your life
Start Project 365. Everyday of your life, take one picture for an entire year. Capture something meaningful, difficult, beautiful, artistic, your pets, your food, your face, your morning walk, the sad days, the good days, the in between days. All of it. One picture at a time. We do not tend to remember our lives happening to us outside of the big moments like a birthday or the first day at a job, but life is all around us, is happening to us every single day, and this project can help you to understand what is important in your life. See the patterns of what and who shows up the most. See your passions and the things you hated. See all the things you thought were beautiful or interesting. Remember important dates and anniversaries. It's all right there if you are open to it and to understanding that your life isn't just about how bad this week or month is, but the summation of everything happening to you and around you all the time, both good and bad.
8. Stop saying no to opportunity
If you're feeling run down and out and bad about your life, stop saying no to opportunities to improve it. If your friends and family are giving you suggestions or you have something in mind to change the outlook of how you're feeling about yourself, TRY IT. Solutions to problems don't always come in the most obvious boxes. Sometimes they are left field, or maybe the solutions are right in front of us, but we can't know if we don't try. Think of it this way...what you've been doing thus far has not helped and each day you feel the way you do, so not trying is not going to yield another result, but trying may.
What Girls & Guys Said
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I like this take! This was something I needed to see. Thank you!
as I have been saying for years, we need more money and more free time
I like this. I know I need to work on these things. Especially #1