My best guy friend wants to have sex... should I?

My very best friends (he's a boy), we've been friends since pre K. Recently he said he wanted to have sex with me... I thought he was kidding and kinda just laughed. Then I found out later he was serious... He told me he wants me really badly, he's handsome and I do like him (But I don't want to date him) We're just really good friends. Should I do it? Could any harm come to our friendship if we did?

Also, what harm (If any) could come to our relationship? Would we stop being friends or something?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sex changes everything, even though it may not seem like it would. If you start having sex and things go well, then what? You're his booty call or friend with benefit. Then what if one of you gets a boyfriend or gf? Do you think you can just go back to being regular friends. What if things don't go well with the sex, do you know how awkward that would be afterwards.

    SO yea there is much harm that could be done.

    But hey if you're honestly the type of girl that will have sex with a guy just because he asks you, then feel free.


What Guys Said 12

  • You could both feel very uneasy afterwards and be jealous when the other gets a BF/GF or a FWB even if you "only had sex". You could also be uneasy if one of you came back for a repeat and the other had his mind on someone else and said "no".

    In short, it can work if you have sex and forget it afterwards (not easy with someone you like, believe me and easier for a guy than for a girl) or stay together. Not one of you should feel the slightest inclination towards jealousy thus.

  • There are very, very few circumstances where this would be a good idea. The ONLY time it would be worth a shot is if a) you wanted to maybe date (still dicey, and not the case here), or b) if you both are very open and honest and easygoing people that have managed "friends with benefits" situations before with other people.

    If neither of those applies, then it is ABSOLUTELY a bad idea. If one or both of those apply, then it is just *probably* a bad idea. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you really shouldn't go through with it.

    Sex is an extremely emotional occurrence. This can cause people to realize feelings which they didn't think they had. Then, if both people aren't experiencing the same feelings, things can get awkward. Additionally, even if sex doesn't create those feelings, there is still the unusual part of learning how to act around each other: how will you know when you want to have sex versus when you just want to hang out as friends? Will one of you get mad if they want to have sex that night and you don't? Will either of you get jealous if the other person has sex with someone else or acts interested in anyone else?

    I think there are just too many possible pitfalls to try it, especially if you don't actually want it to turn into dating.

  • I've gone through this experience myself, so I understand your hesitation, but I think that mutual feelings and comfort in the experience can keep anything weird from happening. See I decided to have sex with the person, and in the end we just became better friends for it. We're both happily dating other people now and when we hang out there's nothing awkward. In some ways I feel I know them just a bit better.

    Unfortunately there is a very big risk with a lot at stake. You have to be 100% sure that both of you feel the same way about having sex with one another, or something bad could end up happening.

    However if your romantic feelings for each other are mutually neutral, then I don't see why it's impossible to have sex with him and not have anything bad happen to the friendship later. It's not like sex will instantly turn you both into different people. The experiences you've shared as friends over the years will not just suddenly become void because you've gone to bed. A true friendship (especially one that's lasted so long), will take more to break than some time in the sack.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're both ready to have sex with each other and your good enough friends, then it's not impossible to have no harm come from it.

    and hey if he's attractive then HAY

    • Forgot to mention that you shouldn't feel liek you have to have sex with him. It's totally possible that his hormones are just driving him to say things before he understands them.

  • Just because he's been friends with you since pre K, doesn't mean he's entitled to have sex with you. Regardless if he's been friends with you so long, he's still a guy. And your virginity or your body is not free to give up on a whim. Have sex with someone you've been dating for a while and someone you find to care for you and like you for your qualities. Not because you have history.

  • You are just going to be confused. Don't do it. Remember, he is not thinking clearly, because of too much testosterone in his body.

  • Do you WANT to?

    Harm very well could come to your realtionship, or it could strengthen it. Does he want a freinds with benefits kind of thing? Lay down the rules of how its going to happen if you decide to do it. Tell him you do not want a relationship if you dont, and it is strictly just for fun.

    Have you had sex before? If not, inform yourself of the risks, and how to protect yourself and have fun. Don't jump over the log without looking on the other side first, it could very well be a cliff.

  • In my experience with this I'm gonna say you can do it but first sit down and have a talk tell him that you will remain friends no matter what and that this cannot have an effect on that once that's cleared up it should all be cool. Now if you feel that one day you want him go for it and if he asks you out and your single try it but for that the same rules apply sit him down and talk

  • There would be a lot of harm possibly done to your friendship if you chose to let him have sex with you. Also you really shouldn't be having sex with somebody that you don't love or at least really care about, let alone aren't even dating.

    Personally I don't think you should.

  • Yes. It won't harm your relationship so long as you both make your feelings absolutely clear from the beginning and stick to any promises you make. Honestly it will probably be the best you've ever had because he will actually care about you can treat you well. He's probably been planning this for some time. Things don't have to be awkward unless you want them to. The buck stops here.

  • If you have sex with this boy I'm sorry but it will be the wrong thing to do because I remember my first time I loved her she was my world be when she got it then she stop wanting to be with me and soon after she left me for a different guy I was crushed so I'm just going to tell you the truth if you do this boy and you really don't like him you'll just hurt him like she did to me.

  • Agreed with DEla..!


What Girls Said 8

  • don't have random sex with random people if you don't want drama and a messed up friendship. kinda hard to view a guy you've had sex with as just a 'friend'. that's just bull if they say they want to be friends after, that means it's friends with benefits or whatever to them or nothing.

  • Really harm could come either way. Once he's decided that he wants you the relationship has changed. If you reject him and he's hurt by it, it will be different. Also if you sleep with him and becomes a f***-buddy or a girlfriend or whatever, the relationship will change. Some of this is going to be out of your hands and just be dependent on how he reacts. You really should focus just on you and do whatever you think is best. Worrying to much about the aftermath is silly when you only control a tiny part of it.

  • Harm could come to your relationship either way. Still, you shouldn't have sex with him until you are ready. Guys always want to have sex, so it's really your call here.

  • sex will change everything. before you make a decision you need to set ground rules and you need to think about him with another girl. If he finds someone he wants to date that means that sex with you will stop and you will most likely feel insignificant

  • well if you don't want to b boy friend and girlfriend then you can still have sex but it would be very uncofterble now if you are redy and you truly think its going to work put on a hot silky sexy dress with a thong and go for it now if ur parents don't know then tell them your going to sleep over one of you friends house then go to a hotel and sut off the lights and have some fun! or you could just go in a rope with thong and nothing else that you think will turn him on

  • i don't think that you should. one of my guy friends told that to me too, but I decided that I wouldn't because it could mess up our friendship and having sex is a very sacred thing that should only be done with people you're in love with. that's just my opinion.

  • I went through the exact same thing! If you see one of my questions it was about the aftermath haha so check it out if it helps BUT I really believe it could be the same with no harm at all!

    After my friend and I did it... it wasn't awkward or different, we just shared a new experience together. It was nice because I trusted him and vice versa. Neither of us wanted anything more but to experience so just as long as your both on the same page.

    One note though: We did start doing it more often. But our friendship stayed relatively the same. We couldn't help it, you probably won't either if your attracted to your friend. The only downside I could see is when it stops you might have problems. Then he might start treating you diff cause he already got the "goodies" you know. If you stop, will you feel less important? Like he doesn't care? That's the stuff you need to ask yourself because you control your feelings.

  • lots and lots of harm don't do it with him unless you love the boy