My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and recently he hung out with one of his exes. I told him I was okay with this but deep down it just hurts that he feels the need to hang out with her. They've known each other for 6 years and he says he cares about her a lot. He told me that she does like him again and now I feel threatened and the need to compete with her. He says that the only thing they do is talk and they feel very comfortable around each other. At first, I got angry and every time he brought her up I would ignore him but I saw that this was just hurting the relationship more, so I told him I'm sorry and I will have more trust and faith in you because you deserve that. They are now hanging out again and I feel like it has become a weekly thing. Am I being selfish that I want to hang out with him on the weekends? Every time I try to talk to him, it feels like I'm wrong, but I know I'm right. What should I do?
Most Helpful Girl
I know how you feel. The best thing though is that he is HONEST with you... My (ex) boyfriend however was NOT. I'm upset til this day... Unfortunately, my ex would tell me that he hates her, etc. and it's true that he doesn't want her in his life (at least social life) and I see now that he keeps her at a distance. I on the other hand (when we were together) was in his life. But I found out that behind my back, he would hang out with her... I have the photos to prove it. So be thankful enough though that he would tell you he is going to hang out with her. HOWEVER, since you know you should definitely let him know how you feel (which you have) and he should have more respect to YOU... Or else maybe that ex should meet you and hang out with you 3...
He needs to set boundaries and you need to let him know that you will trust him, but it's either her or you if he is going to spend time with this girl frequently. I don't know what his ex's motives are but I find that usually when the guy dumps the girl, she wants him back even if he has someone which is very unfair. (That's how his ex was with my boyfriend.)
Keep your guard up... it's a tricky situation, especially if you don't know her. But don't be naggy either or else it will definitely show a bad and extremely insecure person- which may cause him to lie as my own ex did. I would tell him to stop talking to her but they end up talking again. It was cruel. He still talks to her AND me... And STILL has her out of his social life... I don't even know why she would want to be with him then. lol I don't get exes who still want to be in their exes lives all the time. I've moved on from my past.