Lemme tell you somethin: Imma 31 year old man, married w/a 13 month old child and that sh*t ain't no joke. Children take up madd time, madd energy and they can stress a relationship (if one person is takin care of the baby more than the other).
He probably is in that mind frame where he really wants to be a Daddy. That's ok. Embrace that in him but here's a few things that you can do to test his ass:
1. Volunteer to babysit someones child (between the ages of 3 months to 1 years old) for 48 hrs. Not 24...but 48. Two days with the same crying baby will give you a good idea of what it would be like to care for a new human being and it will challenge your emotional psyche.
2. Volunteer at a daycare (kids between the ages of 6 mos to 3 years old) for 4hours a day for a week. This will give you an idea of the amount of work it takes to feed and clothe and diaper a little child.
3. If you don't have ways to do the above, get one of those electronic baby dolls that act like a real baby and give you a reading on your progress when your time with the baby is done.
Either way: You'll truly never be "prepared" to have a baby. You've got the right idea though. Daycare alone can be as much as a BMW car note or a mortgage per month (depending on where you live). Babies are no joke. Formula ain't no joke. Diapers ain't no joke. The crying, the feeding and the lack of sleep ain't no joke. I love love love my son but I'm thankful that I could provide (money wise) or I'd be up Sh*ts Creek.
And that...aint no joke
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First off, good for you for putting up the good fight. Too many women will start breeding just out of fear of losing their man.
My wife and I decided not to have children. It was a lucky happenstance as neither of us really discussed it very seriously before we got married. And at this point, I think a reversal from either of us would be a deal breaker.
He needs to not be so selfish and respect your decision. You're his wife and friend with your own dreams that you're working toward. You may want to have a serious discussion with him about what his intentions are after a child is born. Are you supposed to give up your aspirations and stay at home? Figure it out. You don't want your love seeing you as little more than a uterus that cooks and cleans.
this is not the end of the world. he's at a point where he feels ready but is still too immature to realize you are not. you are wise to realize you need these things before having a baby because having children requires sacrificing many of your own wants and needs. you could try to make a five year plan of where you both want to be in five yrs. a mother of 6 I know says she wasn't actually "ready" to have kids til she was 27 tho she started at 20. as long as he can see kids in his future, he should be okay with waiting. if not, you need help to educate him on the changes children will make in your lives.
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That's crazy... If you're not ready, you're not ready. There are only so many ways to say that you aren't ready... He has to tell you why he is being so pushy.
But if I were you, I'd be careful. He might be TRYING to get you pregnant, even without saying it.If you have this big of a problem communicating with your husband, you really weren't ready to marry him. Good luck, but this sounds like it is going to end in a disaster rather quickly unless you both learn to communicate. Go to couple's counseling for starters.
NONONONONONONONONONONO! Fucking breeders anyways. And people wonder why the world is overpopulated! If he keeps going on this either cut his f***ing balls off or remove your uterus with a butcher knife. DO NOT FUCKING BREED!
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