Why is my best friend ignoring me?

This girl and I met online about 7 years ago, she lives in England and I live in the States. We've been good friends much of that time and sorted through a lot of issues together. We usually only get to talk once every few months but we make up for it when we do get the chance. Then all the sudden for no apparent reason she goes totally off the face of the earth. No email, no phone calls, no letters and no warning. We stayed up to midnight talking on her birthday, laughing and having fun and then she's just gone. She wasn't even mad at me.

It has been nine months, I've emailed her several times about this after it became clear it wasn't just the normal waiting period and have received no response of any kind. I then tried looking on social networking websites, and found accounts that I'm pretty sure are her's on MySpace and Facebook and sent messages to those accounts and received no reply, even to tell me that I had the wrong account or wrong person which seems to confirm to me that those are her accounts.

So, what am I to think? Is she mad at me and too irresponsible to tell me up front that she doesn't like me anymore? Does she 'like' me and is playing some twisted game of 'hard to get'. I would think if she just wanted me gone she'd write me a short note saying to leave her alone, or block me on msn, or have a mutual friend rely the message to me. I'm not some freaky stalker, I've told her repeatedly in my emails if she doesn't like me anymore to just tell me so we can part ways with some sense of decorum. But she has sent nothing back, like I said it is as if she just disappeared. The only reason I haven't called across the pond to the British Police to do a wellness check at this point is the accounts I found on MySpace and Facebook and an update on her windows live profile.

So am I being crazy, is my behavior out of line or am I doing what any concerned friend would do? Most of all, why is she doing this to me, I'm leaving for basic training in the U.S. Army in a matter of months and I'd rather not have this on my mind, I'd hate to think that she'd just let me go off to war without telling me the truth or at least giving me the courtesy of saying goodbye, however briefly.

Is this normal behavior for a girl, am I being insecure? Or is she being unfairly non-communicative? Most of all, why would she just ignore me for this long?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It seems very strange that she didn't even say goodbye. Maybe something happened to her? Was your friendship very close or just a casual chat every few months when bored type of friendship?

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      Pretty close, we shared all of our secrets and we depended on each other for support in the rough patches. We talked about two months or so, but we made up for it when we did. She stayed up to midnight talking to me on her birthday, if I was just the random guy to keep her amused I doubt she'd spend 4 hours talking to me in IM on her birthday. Also last fall when she was having problems she said I was the only one she dould turn to. It seems so odd to just totally disappear after being so close.

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      Well I'm as sure as I can be, she has a rather exotic name for where she lives and an electic taste in music and the pictures are unmistakably her, so I'm sure that the profiles on MySpace and Facebook are hers unless I have some freak stalker who is creating fake profiles of her. And I'm pretty sure she's ignoring my emails because I know she's been online to create the Facebook and MySpace pages and the message I sent to her MySpace account says that it has been "read". So I'm pretty sure...

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      Ah right, in that case I'd probably just leave it. She may come back, she may not. I know people can get busy at times but 9 months without even a word is a bit strange.