Why is it so hard to get a girlfriend?

I'm about to graduate from college and I thought that going to college would help me find the right girl, but if anything its made it worse. It seems like girls never notice me at all, and its not like I'm a social outcast or anything, I have tons of guy friends and get along great with just about anyone. I'm a talented guitarist and songwriter, top of my class academically, funny, and down to earth. I'm not bad looking either I don't think, I've had girls tell me I'm good looking, my friends ex-girlfriend even asked if I was gay the other night because she said I'm very attractive but she had never seen me with a girl. I have confidence in pretty much every other area of my life and things have always come easy to me, I get good grades in school without trying, I'm good at just about every sport, etc, but I have had no success with women and its really starting to cause me a great deal of depression and anxiety. I come into contact with beautiful young women every single day in class for the last 4 years and have yet to get a single date, I just can't find ways to strike up conversations in class I always think that if I say something to a girl sitting next to me she's gonna think I'm just another creepy dude that's trying to hit on her. I can't even imagine how I'm going to meet girls once I graduate. I just want a nice sweet girl that I can hang out with and have fun with, but I can't seem to find that. Any advice or suggestions from some girls out there would be greatly appreciated.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel your pain. Especially the worrying that I'll have to find someone after college where there are far less options.

    For the record, if you talk to a girl in class, she's not going to think you're a creeper. If anything, she will notice you in a positive way. Even if she shyly talks back or doesn't say much.

    Do you ask girls out? I know that I have yet to go on a single date in college because I refuse to ask a guy out, so I'm waiting on these guys who will probably never ask so that's not working. If you're about to graduate, you probably aren't going to see a lot of these girls again, so I say go for it and start asking girls out, even if it's a group thing so that she can get to know you in a more comfortable environment. And don't wait for the perfect girl. Even if it's just a girl that you're slightly attracted to, she could surprise you and be the girl you're looking for.

    Maybe your friend's girlfriend can help set you up with one of her friends. If she thinks your attractive, her friends probably will too.

    Good luck! :)


What Girls Said 4

  • ill date you, haha just kidding, I totally agree ... I'm graduating and 1 year and I haven't been in a relationship since high school! its so hard to date or find guys in general. I'm not really the frat/sorority type and my schedule is basically .. class (100 + people) where every one is frikin competitive and its so hard to strike a convo, then I'm off to work at a lab where I'm the only girl with a bunch old professors, and then I'm off to the VA medical center where I am yet the only girl with a buncha old doctors where I file organize and repair hearing aids .. most of the doctors are female too -_- ... so hard to date! I feel like I'm running out of time. the people I live with are like super religious too so its like I can't even meet friends through friends ..im done ranting :) I like to play the guitar too .. I'm actually at work ..! but basically, its really hard to date for me too! your not alone :) .

  • well you sound wounderfull to me ^-^ I feel that I tend to overlook the loud talkative guys, I think its more the things people do that attract me. So I think you just need to stay nice and most likely someone has already noticed you but are good at hiding it.

  • You need to put yourself out there more. You're afraid of being the "creepy dude" that just wants to get in her pants but if you stay silent you'll never be noticed. Just be nice and try to start some friendships with girls you think are pretty. One of them is bound to notice how great you are.


What Guys Said 1

  • well I'm 20 male .. I have the same exact problem... I have lots of dudes I'm funny not bad looking.. I have been in collage 2 yeas now.. girls don't seem to notice me at all... THEY EVEN NOTICED A SLOW UGLY STUPID GUY AND HE IS DATING! geeks date .. everybody even lossers! but not me no girl seem to notice me at all.. although I'm famous with the guys .. its not that I don't know how 2 talk 2 a girl infact I really am good in talking with girls.. but even if I talked 2 a girl and got her number ... next day she ignores me.. ( I'm not a virgin I had a 1 night stand when I was 18) ... I became really desperate .. everyone around me gets a girlfriend even a guy who is fat ugly stupid and never talked 2 a girl b4 got a girlfriend... this sucks I became desperate that I'm ready 2 date any girl even if she was fat not good looking .. to this level I don't care anymore I just need anygirl 2 like me..(its not that I show that I'm desperate I have to act confident around girls) I dates b4 but its allways 1 date nd next day she ignores me as if I screwed up! I even tried dating a stupid girl .. still she ddnt like me.. only once in my life a dated a girl nd she kept talkin 2 me for a whole week then she dumped me ... ( I was nice to her nd funny I was really being kool , nd still no girl likes me, even if she did she still says I like you as a friend )... I swear now I wish any girl in my collage would be my girlfriend (there are more girls than guys in my collage still no luck 4 me) you know when I like a girl I become unblvbly faithfull 2 her , I never thought abt cheating .. I just want a girlfriend that would accept me I'm so sick of being lonely.. I even tried to change in many ways 2 attract girls.. no use.. .. is it maybe because I'm a fun guy ( I mean I'm not the kind that takes life so seriously)... I don't mean my grades suck I get a's and b's .. but I don't act responsable... ( I am responsable just hate to show it or think about my responsabilities) I just take everything easy ... like I sayd I'm a fun guy not the serious guy... but I get really serious when it comes 2 relationships .. I never think about cheating or playing ... when I think abt a girlfriend I think about our future..

    ... I just wish to have a girlfriend ... at 1st when I couldent get any girls attention I thought( their loss) but now I know its me... I just wanna know what is it ... papular with the guys, unnoticed with the girls... it really p*sses me off losers fatties silly ugly stupid slow retarded guys get 2 have a girlfriend ..