My ex-girlfriend says she "wants to be friends" but won't hang out with me?

When she broke up with me 4 months ago, she said she "still wanted to be friends." I asked her if she wanted to do something, but she said she isn't ready to hang out one-on-one yet. What does this mean, and is it a good sign for my chances of getting back together?

We have spent time together in a group setting many times, as well as seeing each other one-on-one 2 months ago. That seemed to go great, but a few days later she had no interest in hanging out with me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, there you have it, the reason why when people break-up they don't keep the "let's be friends" promise. It's because they are afraid the other person is just waiting for them to be more than friends. Exes cannot be friends. They can be on friendly terms, but not like buddies hanging out.

    • Should I just basically ignore her and hope that she will miss me? Or should I try getting on "friendly terms" and attempt to advance it from there?

    • You should accept the fact that she does not want a relationship with you anymore and move on.

What Girls Said 8

  • She probably figured out you wanted more than friendship.

    • She knows I want more.

    • There you go. She knows you want more than friendship. That's exactly why she is avoiding you. Sorry to be blunt but you have to understand she doesn't want a relationship anymore. You need to move on. You aren't going to get her back.

    • Yes, that is the reason being "friends" with an ex is not a good idea. So many times one or the other person just has not moved on and they see that. Never disguise the desire for a relationship as the desire for "friendship".

  • she might just feel uncomfortable with you being around. I just do not like being around my ex boyfriend. they have all hurt me in some way or another, not because we broke up but because they are jerks. I don't have good luck with guys.but anyways, if she doesn't want to hang out, just hang out with friends. that's what I do.

  • i agree with wanacot.

    thats not of sign of her wanting to get back together.

    chances are she's moving on with her life

    and I suggest you do the same

  • hon, she was being nice by saying she wants to be friends.

  • Listen to everyone on here. Its over. She knows you want to be more than just friends. And she doesn't want to encourage you or give you mixed signals, so she won't hangout with you. Not trying to be mean but its over and you need to move on

  • I think she says what she means. She wants to be friends but isn't ready to hang out simple as that. It might take her a while to try to become friends/keep in touch...I mean you guys just broke up right? My sis and her ex went out for 3 years and broke up and wanted to remain friends..they tried and it didn't work. All they did was argue, feelings were hurt again, etc. But it took a long while for them to finally be able to talk again. They keep in touch and they're cool now.

  • Hey

    So I'm in the same sort of situation as you, but I'm the girl who doesn't want to hang out one-on-one. For me, I don't want to encourage him in any way, because I don't love him as anything more than a completely platonic friend, and I know he's still in love with me.

    Maybe your ex is doing just that---not wanting to give you the wrong impression about her feelings for you. In that case, I would suggest trying to accept not hanging out one-on-one with her for now (and quite possibly not in the near future), and accept her as a friend. Nothing more. I know this hurts (I've been there from both sides), but in the end it will be the best thing for you both (and it will lessen your chances of you annoying her from here to hell and back=P).

    Best of luck:)

    • pathetic, immature... at the end of the day... we are human with general values and despite one giving love to another who has no idea what real love is about... of course you become a twit as on this statement above... Humanity and it's child like attitude.

What Guys Said 3

  • No it's not. Don't confuse "want to be friends" with "let's try and have a relationship again". She was just ending things nicely. But it's over. Time to move on.

  • Bro my ex did the samething. Left for another guy said she wanted to be friends and never saw or heard from her again.. I know its hard to move on I was there, but you will in time.. Don't worry about it!

  • im in the same boat, buddy.. I even try to be her boyfriend's friend as she bartends at my favorite bar and I just don't want any tension... not really a good sign that you;re getting back together anytime soon. screw her friends, you'll feel better.