I broke my dad's heart, and it's killing me Advice?

Anonymous
5 years ago was the lowest point in my life. Every girl has problems but, I was 17 and I felt like my life was over and that I could not go on anymore. I was failing in school and unable to graduate. I was a failure to everyone around me my parents basically disowned me because they were so disapointed in me. My personal life was a wreck schitzophrenia out of wack. My boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me. I just felt so alone and like life was not worth living anymore I attempted to commit suicide 5 years ago but did not go through with it. I always keep my feelings inside and I never told my dad because he was terminally ill and I did not want to hurt him anymore. Durring my low point I got addicted to pills really bad and I told my mom everything. Now that I am older and have overcome a bunch of things I am working on getting bettter and curing my addiction. My mom carelessly told my dad about my addiction and my suicide attempt the other day because she was mad at me and I was forced to talk to him about it (worst thing I ever did). It hurt him so bad when I told him because our relationship is so close and feels like it is all his fault for not listening to me and he is ashamed at me and doesn't trust me anymore. He is always crying everyday he told me I broke his heart. I never meant to hurt him I did not even want him to know while he was ill. He won't even talk to me now all he does is cry and stay in his room. There is absolutely nothing I can do or say to make him trust me again. I hate watching him cry and basically die infront of my eyes. All my mom does is keep bringing it up everyday making him cry more and blame me and tell me"You broke his heart you are just a disapointment to this family. You are going to kill him and it is going to be all your fault. You are the worst daughter ever you are going to rot in hell for what you are doing" She is just making the situation worse honestly I never wanted him to find out like this Advice?
I broke my dad's heart, and it's killing me Advice?
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