My boyfriend spends more time with his best friend than me and calls him a priority. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

OK so my friend and I have been bumping heads because when it comes to making time for me its never when he says it will be but he can make time everyday to workout and have dinner with his best friend and even went as far as telling me that his best friend is a priority and I have to accept it...i only see him twice a week if he has time for me but he make times everyday for that. he tells me he loves me and wants a future with me but what am I supposed to do

[themastaplan]

tell him he's a homo...lol no, a guys best friend is his best friend...and always will be...BUT you should be the friend that he tells EVERYTHING to...like everything, there are always things taht we keep from our friends or best friends, but you being the one whose dating him and well could potentially marry him should know everything as should you...

you should be ok with him having a best friend, but him being a priority over you shouldnt happen...youre his gf, his everything, his girl, you're dating for a reason...i mean if he said o h I can hang out because I'm going to be with my friend like every weekend then you should get up and move because he obviously isn't ready for a relationship...

sounds like he's living the "bro's before hoe's" lifestyle that guys usually do thru hs/college, I mean I only know what you told me above, but you should def sit down and ask how he sees you in comparison to his friend...set up situations where he'd have to choose you or him(make them up, some serious some not serious) and from there you should be able to tell if he's ready for a real relationship or not and then you can also decide if you want him from the answers he's given you...theres always a little we all have to give up when being in a relationship

not sure how much this helps but let me know if I can help further...message me or whatever

GL!

[Anonymous]

Be more independent and do your own thing. Seriously, my buddy's girlfriend is veeeeery insecure and is always worrying about what people think of her. Not saying you are, but I can tell by hanging out with him that he finds it very annoying. Their situation might be different from yours, but he's at the point where he's ready to break it off with her. It seems like every time they hang out, she'll say something stupid and upset him or he'll actually act happy and she gets upset cause she's the only grumpy one (I know this sounds annoying just from hearing it)...so yeah, I'd say talk to him about the "deal with it" comment. I'm sure he didn't mean anything bad by it, but just clear it up. Other than that, don't expect him to be your little puppy dog to follow you around.

[Asker]

Well I am independent and do my own thing..it just makes things hard when I know that he makes time to see him every single day and not just for like an hour but for hours...we get along great its just confusing how he can say what he does to me but treat me as second when I'm his girlfriend I'm the one he chose to be in a relationship with

[Anonymous]

Is his friend single? If so I'd predict when he gets a girlfriend he'll be busy with her, or the 4 of you could do double dates.

I don't think it's right he called his friend a priority if he said he's a priority over you. How long have you been together?

[Asker]

His best friend is a gay 60 year old man and they literally spend hours a day together working out then dinner...my boyfriend has his own company and says he's always busy with that yet makes hours for him...like last week he was supposed to meet me somewhere at 930 and showed up at 11 because he was with him talking at dinner and didn't want to interrupt it and that's the night he told me I had to accept that he's a priority

[ALWAYSclassy]

His bff is a gay 60 year old man? Hunnie I will bet money that they are f***ing. That just don't sound right at all

[Asker]

Yeah I know it doesn't sound right to me either and I have questioned him about and I have told him hey if that's what you are I won't judge you and we can still be friends but he swears up and down that he would never be with a man

[bluemidnight]

Ok first of all guys are different than us. A lot of them put their friends before their girlfriends and that is especially true if the relationship just started or isn't too solid. I think you should put him in your priorities just as where he puts you.

[Anonymous]

dump him and stop making him a priority. is it possible your man is gay and using you as a cover up?

[Asker]

I honestly have questioned it many times in my mind and have asked him but he says he's not but yeah that is something I have thought about

[ArtistBboy]

[ what am I supposed to do ]

1) Start being independent.

- Just because he isn't right next to you, comforting you and feeding you attention, doesn't mean you are any less of an attractive and beautiful woman he would date.

2) Enjoy the times you are with him, giving him a reason to stop by more often

- Laugh, kick back, relax, and enjoy the time you have with him. Embrace every last second of the time you have with him. Then during the dry-spells where you don't get to see him, remember and dwell on the savoring flavor of your last memory about the day with him.

3) Stop expecting him to kick his friends for you.

- He is a man. If you try to push his friends away, so that you can get more attention. He will just push you away. Problem solved.

~ ArtistBBoy

[xBlossomx]

Couldn't have said it better. Why don't girls understand that if they want a guy to give them all the attention they want, they will get even less...

[Asker]

Im not trying to push his friends away at all I'm friends with his friends....i am independent and do my own thing..im a full time student and he has his own company that he runs and does all the work for....my problem is that he makes time everyday for this guy but not for me when I'm his girlfriend and should get more time spent with him...i understand working out for 2 hours but when its 4-5 hours of working out sorry no and then on top of that dinner afterwards not cool

[ArtistBboy]

1) Start working out with them, they will like it.

2) Invite yourself to dinner and have fun/laugh with them. Flirt with your boyfriend.

I would alternatively think you'd like the space. He's not crying at your ankles and being obnoxious. Plus it gives you more time to savor the good memories.

You'll see in due time what he's doing. Take care.

[wilk8940]

Well seeing as how young you are, I'd say he's just being a guy right now. It's extremely possible that if he loves you as much as he says that it kinda scares him that you are his future. Not in a bad way but in a way that makes him want to live up the present. Basically its just the fact that in a few years he will have you all to himself and won't want anybody else. He's not afraid to have you in his future, he's afraid to take the step saying that this part of his life is ending and the next part is about to start.

[Asker]

Well he does often admit I scare him because how much he cares about me ....and yes I am young but he's 26 so he's not quite in the same age range as I am..

[mf-ibmj]

OMG,

you know what, I have the same thing going on, My guy friends have the priority in my life, and I feel that I'll be like that for ever,

But twice a week is just ridiculous, is he serious? dinner with him ?

I think he's bored, he needs new stuff in ure relationship

Be creative, do you live in a place where you can cook him a nice meal ?! well cook them both a nice meal, and have it together.

then ask him if he'd like to do it again but only with u.

[Anonymous]

damn that's messed up, I would leave his ass, the only time I've seen in person a guy who was my friend, treat his girlfriend worse was when she told him she loves him, and wondered if he felt the same way, and his response was, my only two loves in life are baseball and euchre...

what I'm getting at is if a guy can't make you his priority over his friend at your age, then leave him!

[neronomicon]

i would say dump him if he can't make tiem for you then he don't deserve you

[Delahatesyou]

sounds likes he loves his bestfriend more than you.

[Dmasteroflegend]

some people believe bros b4 hoes he may consider have a deeper connection with his bro cause there's certain that he can talk 2 aguy about b4 he can talk 2 you bout cause ur a girl