So apparently I'm a woman beater?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 16 year old male, and according to my family I'm a future woman beater.
I have punched my mom once and my sister a few times.
But the thing is, I didn't hit them without a reason.

During my childhood if I did something bad (got home too late or used like 5 dollars too much on candy) my mom would hit me for it. And no, it wasn't a slap. She used a fly swatter or some other kind of tool to hit me with (usually ended up with a welt or something). At the age of 11-12 I had enough and punched her. Since then she has stopped hitting me.

And now comes my sister.
When we have arguments I am able to keep my cool, but the thing is she gets extremely angry. And when she gets angry she scratches me with her nails which causes me scrathes that bleed.
I have multiple scars from them.
One day we had an argument and she decides to break my 100$ headphones which I payed for myself. I got angry and basically punched her once.
After that my other sister smacks me in the head with a plastic board which breaks in half.

All kinds of things have been happening between me and my family. I am not sure have I just been bottling up too much anger.
When I hit them it just happens. I can't control it. (I have never hit anyone else except one bully and my mom/sister)

I regret what I have done to them but they keep mentioning those things when we have an argument and sadly that opens up the old wounds.

I believe I am angry but I just don't know it (this makes me act like a douche if I hate someone).
My oldest sister used to boss me around and if I didn't listen she would slap me.

I treat most people nicely. I have a girlfriend but I would never hit her. All these things I did years ago but they keep mentioning it which makes me really sad.

I want to be a doctor to help people, but I just can't see my future as a doctor. My family always say I'm not good enough to be a doctor, or that I am too angry.
I am angry at them.
I'm the type of guy you can trust to help you.

Updates

+1 y

I would never hit a woman. But the thing is I did this years ago. When I was going through early stages of puberty and I wasn't really emotionally stable. Please read the whole story before judging... I just came to ask for help. I know I shouldn't hit women. I don't really know what is right or wrong anymore...

Updates

+1 y

If my past cannot be forgiven and I'm still seen as a monster then I see no purpose in this world for myself...

I did this many years ago, I have been trying to get help. But they still keep cursing at me and telling how worthless I am for my past doings...

I can't even ask for advice on here...

[Rawrzz]

Been there, bro. Except I had a brother, not a sister. And boy did I torture him. I didn't hit my mom, though I was close to it many times. I was 13 years old, and she got this metal belt with these thick metal rings on it and started wailing on me; I would punch holes in the wall or the door, instead of hitting her. Surprise, surprise, I grew up having anger issues, as well; and, I got into fights all the time at school and around the block.

And yeah. They stopped hitting me right around the time I started getting bigger and stronger. Surprise surprise.

But, being angry is part of being a teenager. Usually, that's not as much of a problem, but your mom taught you that to correct your bad behavior, to use violence to correct that behavior. So, is it any wonder that you try to use violence in order to correct other's bad behavior? First thing is first. Don't believe their idiocy when they say that this is just how you are. Or that you're just going to turn into a woman-beater. If anyone turned you into this, it's your parent's being shitty parents.

You're still not emotionally stable, most likely, even after puberty. As a teenager, your brain still relies on the amygdala--the emotional lizard brain (this is the only type of brain reptiles have)--more than the frontal lobe (the rational, newest part--the part that makes us smart). This means you're much more given to *impulse* and have more difficulty controlling your emotions than an adult will. As you age, your brain will develop, and you will become more in control of yourself, naturally. Now, the thing until then is to make sure you do not form the habit of responding with violence to problems that do not need to be solved by violence. But you kinda already have that habit.

So. You need to break that habit and learn some tricks to slow yourself down when you are under pressure. As trite as it is, the count to 10 thing isn't bad. First and foremost, though, your response should be to leave the source of pressure immediately and tell your family that you're going to cool off so you don't beat the shit out of them. You need to learn to notice when your pressure gauge is building up and about to blow, and remove yourself from the source of pressure before the explosion.

And anger management might not be the worst thing.

At the same time. Don't allow yourself to be abused. Learn to defend, not attack.

Of course, this is not okay. You have to change. But this here shows you want to.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Here is the deal dude, i think you have categorized everything perfectly. You don't hit your girlfriend which means that it is only the two women have have actually hurt you.
If you are 100% certain that you do not hit girls outside of those two then i would say you are in fact not a woman beater.
Here is the deal though you need to be strong. You don't have to fake that you don't like being around them, by staying true to who you are however that is what will make your life better. There are no two ways around it though, you either give up and give in or strive to become who you want to be.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Damn i wish this kid would go un-anon, i could probably help.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it.

[Errhh]

I don't have to read the entire thing to say yES you are a woman beater.

If you had said you punched someone when they scratched you first, would be different,... But you only say that she does this... And you punched her when she broke something of yours. That's violent... And punching the hand that feeds you is simply uncalled for... Referring to your mother.

Parents have rules... And if you live under their roof you should obey... If you don't like it, the. Go make your own money and support yourself. I do not condone hitting, but really I don't believe what she did is abusive, and in the case that it was, as I said, you could always leave or actually seek help... But it seems like the reasons you stated as why they hit you, is because you did something wrong.. So it's not like she just wakes up and decides to beat you... You're just a bad son and will probably turn out to be an awful husband or simply just an abusive old man.

You are awful.
Move out and support your own shitty self.., I would have kicked your lame ass out already. Poor moms who love their kids so much to out up with this type of abuse in all the senses.. Be grateful or gtfo

[Asker]

I shouldn't have asked for advice on here...
Everyone sees me as a monster...

I guess I can't even ask for advice to get better.
I don't want to hurt anybody...
I am better now at controlling my temper. I have been trying to get help, but they keep pulling me back from progressing forward.

I'm having a mental breakdown right now...

Well... Thanks GaG...
Bye...

[TiffyPuff]

Christ, he grew up in an abusive home. WTF did you expect he'd learn from his bitch mother? It's no surprise he learned to be violent.

[Sweetie3423]

@TiffyPuff i grew up in a violent home but I didn't let my parents actions mold me to hit back. I grew up knowing what it felt like and wouldn't wish it on someone else. I refuse to say its ok to strike anyone.

[TiffyPuff]

@Sweetie3423
Did I say it was okay to hit? No, I didn't. But you know what? Teach your kids violent behavior, expect them to grow up to be violent too. The research on this is clear.

He needs not to hit... But since he did that to his mother several years ago (not recently), clearly he's learned some restraint. Now he needs to ditch his trashy family, get a therapist, and move on with his life.

And of course, that's why he's here. To ask advice how to move forward. Instead, you laid into a sixteen year old boy for something he did at the age of eleven and only attempted to discourage him further.

Seems to me you Aren't any better than his trashy abusive family.

[Mynameisbobby]

Don't listen to them

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Yes you should have read the entire thing or else your comment wouldn't have come across as ill thought out and now you are causing more harm then good for asker.

[Curmudgeon]

@Sweetie3423 "I didn't let my parents actions mold me to hit back. I grew up knowing what it felt like and wouldn't wish it on someone else. I refuse to say its ok to strike anyone."

That's the problem right there. Hit back, and hard.

[TiffyPuff]

Your family is abusive. It isn't like you acted without provocation (although the sister incident is kinda bad).

But that said, you do need to control yourself. And statistically, people who grow up abused are more likely to be abusive themselves.

However, you seem aware of the problem, so you can overcome it.

As for being a doctor, go for it. Fuck what your family says, they aren't supportive people. They'll put you down regardless what you want to do. And if that means cutting your family off down the line, do it. Don't allow negative people to rule your life.

[NatashaJ]

I'm surprised why this woman that call herself a mother didn't think she taught him to be this way Jesus Christ.

[TiffyPuff]

@NatashaJ
Like, read some of the responses. It's like everyone thinks this stuff is normal. WTF?

[NatashaJ]

Because people are used to getting hit, especially Asians no offense its true.

[Asker]

Thank you for understanding my situation.

[vonasaurus]

fact is, families in which violence is considered a normal response always puts the kids at risk of perpetuating the cycle: either they abuse their partners, or seek out partners who abuse them. and, for your sake, i hope that neither of those two come to pass.

since you're aware of it, i'd say you're at a much lower risk for violence. but stay away from your mom and your sister; they're toxic.

[Sara413]

Your whole family sounds like a fucked up abusive mess... I'd suggest you get away from your family for a while and start seeing a therapist to help you learn healthier relationship behaviours since those have not been modeled for you at home.

[gmanhotman]

it is not ok to hit people ever! that being said I know if you are raised in a physical/ angry household you have a much more diffucult time and being in such an environment has a great impact on how you grow up. my advice don't let them get to you do your best move out etc and no matter what don't hit or lose it on your girlfriend if ur issues are in the past and within the fam keep them there but if you cross that line with ur girlfriend you will never forget it or forgive yourself. it's gonna be hard like one of the girls said it's ur parents house you are under them. but your sister and mother beating on you is out of date and uncalled for they should grow up and act like adults. good luck hang in there.

[Katy16]

Ok I only read the first part, there is never a reason to be punching your mother or sisters, if I hit one of my parents I'd get slapped and grounded. So I do see where they are coming from, you need to learn to have more respect

[Sabretooth]

ditto.

[bbch25]

He needs to learn to respect vile people?

[Katy16]

@bbch25 you should always respect your parents, you don't have to like them but you need to have respect

[Sabretooth]

@bbch25 he needs to act a little bit more civil. also, hitting a woman out of rage still constitutes as abuse.

[bbch25]

Actually you really don't.
Just because you gave birth to me doesn't warrant you the right to treat me as badly as you like? Would you say to someone who's parents starve them, abuse them (which in this case they are), molest them, the list goes on - that they should respect their parents?

No, as you get older and can make your decisions you realise who are good and bad people.

Should he learn to control his anger and not hit people? Sure. Violence is not the answer. But it's completely ignorant to say "respect unconditionally".

[Touchmehxx]

Yes. Respect the women that beat you and emotionally abuse you😀

[Katy16]

@bbch25 yes you should still respect them, you don't have to keep them in your life, you don't have to want to be near the but you still need to have respect, that doesn't mean thinking they are always good people. And I respectfully disagree with you on that

[bbch25]

You are without a doubt the stupidest person I know then.
RESPECT is earnt, not something you can molest your daughter and then still be like "but I"m a daddy so you have to respect me".

[Asker]

Please read the whole story...
I would like to know your full opinion, not just based on the first few lines...
Sorry if I seem like an asshole...

[Katy16]

@Touchmehxx like I said respect doesn't mean you have to like them

[Touchmehxx]

No one owes anyone respect. Respect is earned. They obviously didn't earn it

[Katy16]

@bbch25 wow you're very polite. Obviously we were raised with different values so your entitled to your opinion, but I can have mine as well.

[Katy16]

@Touchmehxx as I said to the other girl, we were clearly raised with different values so

[Katy16]

Ok my opinion still stands after reading it (although your sister could use some anger management as well.)

I definitely think punching your mother was uncalled for

[Touchmehxx]

Obviously. But abusing your child is never ok

[Katy16]

@Touchmehxx I don't believe that was abuse, it was spanking

[Touchmehxx]

Spanking is abuse

[Katy16]

@Touchmehxx I disagree

[Touchmehxx]

You're wrong then

[Katy16]

@Touchmehxx "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Proverbs 13:24

And saying I'm right your wrong doesn't really add anything to this but if it makes you feel better ok

[Touchmehxx]

Yea I ain't religious and I don't know wtf you just said. If you don't think hitting is abuse then I don't know what to tell you

[Katy16]

@Touchmehxx I gathered that, it means if you love your child you will discipline them. And awesome, I hope you have a great day!

[Jeeevan]

Disciplining and fucking abusing them are different, she abused the asker. If your dad punched you in the face, was he just disciplining you? should you forgive him?

[Katy16]

@Jeeevan I don't believe he mentioned his mom ever punching him in the face, she spanked him.

And as a matter of fact my dad slapped me a couple times for being a brat and yes it was discipline. And yes I do, although there is nothing to forgive.

[Jeeevan]

She hit him with a fucking fly swatter, who the fuck does that? i understand a slap but a fucking fly swatter? that's just abuse.

[Katy16]

@Jeeevan using a fly swatter doesn't make it abuse, it's still a spanking. I got spanked a few time with those and I'm fine, It just stings and it's over.

[Asker]

@Katy16

I agree with you about giving a few spanks if a child does something wrong.

But would you hit your child for coming home 5 minutes late? Or not being able to eat all the food? Or how about not getting an A on an exam?

My mom almost broke my nose when I was a kid because I wasn't able to eat all the food.

And I mentioned my dad punching me on another opinion.

I am trying to get help right now, but I'm just asking for help how to move on from the abuse that was in the past and the abuse that is going on right now (has lowered from physical abuse to verbal).

If you could give some advice I would be really thankful.

[Katy16]

Therapy, that and just being able to forgive anything you think crossed a line. If you need help with forgiveness my recommendation would be maybe try finding a church in your area and reading the Bible (I'm partial to Baptist churches but as long as they use the entire Bible other types are ok)

[Asker]

I'm planning on becoming a christian, it's 50/50 right now, not completely sure.
I'm getting therapy on Monday.
I don't think I am able to forgive myself for the things I did to them. If I could go back in time I would stop myself from doing it.

Thank you for the advice.

[Katy16]

You're welcome, I think it's great you are considering being a Christian, I think it could REALLY help you, I know if I didn't have God I don't know how I'd deal with things

[Sabretooth]

I know the feeling of wanting to go back in time all too well

[Jeeevan]

@asker Your mom ABUSED you, she didn't just spank you.

[Curmudgeon]

Not at all. If they dish it out, they should not be surprised that you serve it back. THEY created this mess, not you.

Don't fall for the double standards that justify any sort of abuse against you, but leave you powerless to respond.

IN other words, So what? Sock 'em.

[Sammt999]

No you're not a woman beater dude. I'm sure you won't in the future... I don't anymore lol instead I just leave them shouting behind me and that makes them angrier and you should really let your anger out each time you get angry rather than bottling them in because you know in the end it's going to explode and bad things happen.

[Sweetie3423]

Ok, straight up abuser in the future. You need to control your self to not just go for the swing. Push your mom and sister away. Don't go to hit them. Or just be mature enough to walk away. God forbid you get into a relatioship in the future and swing at the woman for a stupid argument.

[TiffyPuff]

God forbid some bitch thinks it's okay for people to hit him but not for him to hit back.

[Sweetie3423]

Swinging is just lowering himself to their level. Like I said he could have pushed them away or just simple walk away don't feed into it.

[TiffyPuff]

He was eleven at the time. Several years ago. Now they hold it over his head to put him down and try to dissuade him from going to medical school.

His family is trash. Straight up trash.

[Sweetie3423]

@TiffyPuff well thats just letting them win again if he believes them. Yes they are trash but he needs to break the cycle.

[TiffyPuff]

As he said, those incidents were in the past and he's looking for advice on how to move on. Yet everyone seems more interested in crucifying him rather than helping. Like no one got past the first fucking sentence.

[Sweetie3423]

@TiffyPuff " god forbid some bitch thinks its okay for people to hit him but not for him to hit back. "

[Sweetie3423]

You said it.

[TiffyPuff]

Okay, so im not great with words. I can see why you'd interpret that as you do, reading it again. But I guess I meant that teaching a kid violent behavior means you should expect him to be violent. If you hit children, expect that they'll hit people too.

[Sweetie3423]

This is for the gentleman who asked this queastion. I can see why everyone is focused on your past behavior intead of the real issue at hand. You ask if you were a woman beater so every one answered the queastion you asked.

Rereading your issue now I can see your family is now verbally abusing you. Don't listen to them. They are only trying to drag you down. If you want to be a doctor then go for it. Don't listen to your family. You are the one who has the choice of your path in life. You go for what you want and chase down your dreams. Most importantly get away from your family.

[JustWorthlessMe]

betting you're the type to slap the shit out of a guy that pissed you off though

[Sweetie3423]

Sure. Believe what you want.

[CosmicShores]

"I'm a 16 year old male, and according to my family I'm a future woman beater.
I have punched my mom once and my sister a few times."

I would agree with em. You're a little punk.

[Touchmehxx]

They deserved it

[Alexl]

@Touchmehxx I agree with you he needs to stop blaming himself it's okay and they aren't going to tell you what your going to be there not going to give you constrictive criticism there just trying to make you feel bad about that one situation. So cheer up OK.😅

[Mynameisbobby]

My sister is older than me and she always slaps me for no reason. When I tell my mother she just says apologize to her for what you did which is nothing. My sister just laughs at me. I am angry also but haven't hit them yet sometimes I could just punch my sister in the face i get so angry. Are you the only boy? I am the only boy. I really don't think it's you i think it is them. I know how you feel.

[Puppylove94]

You shouldn't hit women. Especially in your family.

[anonman32]

what if they dont want to split the bill on the first date?

[Puppylove94]

@anonman32 lol

[Puppylove94]

@anonman32 seriously tho why are so many people downvote he this?

[anonman32]

maybe because you can do self defense against a girl so you will have to beat them?

[Touchmehxx]

Wow sexism at its finest

[Puppylove94]

@anonman32 I don't understand?

[anonman32]

well can't you hit women for self defense purposes?

[Puppylove94]

@Touchmehxx lol you're annoying.

[TiffyPuff]

People are downvoting because it's clear he's growing up in an abusive family. Like, why does his mom think it's okay to hit him until he has welts? It isn't, so he defended himself. A guy doesn't have to accept physical abuse just because the abuser is a woman. Women need to control themselves too.

Like, he needs to get away from his family then go to therapy.

[Touchmehxx]

Such a good comeback👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻Wow I'm so impressed omg

[Touchmehxx]

Sexist bint

[Puppylove94]

@TiffyPuff that isn't an abusive household.. I had my parents spank me as well and yes I ended up with welts as well. There are different types of parenting.

Abusive is when you make your child bleed for no reason, break their bones because the father is drunk, push them down the stairs just because.

He should not have punched his mother for hitting him with a fly swatted

[Katy16]

Just ignore him, a lot of guys here think hitting women is fine. I agree with you :)

[Asker]

My mom has given me scars and has made me bleed from hits. I still have scars from them.

[TiffyPuff]

Okay, so clearly you grew up in an abusive family too. There shouldn't be physical violence of any kind. If you think you grew up in a normal house, I suggest you go to therapy.

[Puppylove94]

Honestly you need to learn how to control your anger

[anonman32]

if i had never replied to this, this arguing would have never have happened.

[Katy16]

@TiffyPuff why on earth is a spanking abuse? I don't get this generation

[Puppylove94]

@anonman32 haha nahh that one 16 yr old has a problem with me so she would've commented either way

[TiffyPuff]

@Katy16
A spank is one thing. But until she has WELTS? Like, did everyone on this website grow up in abusive families and think this is normal?

[Katy16]

@TiffyPuff you don't have to get hit very hard with a switch to get welts

[Puppylove94]

@Katy16 exactly. My family wasn't abhskve but I got spanked if I did something wrong. It's a punishment. It's not supposed to be pleasant

[Katy16]

Yeah and after the first time with a switch you straighten up real quick lol

[anonman32]

this spanking seems like a lot of fun to me to be honest.

[TiffyPuff]

And your parents weren't capable of nonviolent ways of correcting you? Really? Wow. What messed up part of the world do you live in?

[Puppylove94]

@TiffyPuff was forced to write pages of the dictionary as well. Different punishments for different things

[TiffyPuff]

I don't see where physical abuse is called for.

[Puppylove94]

@TiffyPuff alright so then even seeing it from your side... since you're not okay with physical abuse, you think it's okay for him to hit his mom right back? Either way, it's not okay

[Chico_brah]

Mind blown lol. The OP lost me when he said he punched his mom. It's not so much the fact that it's an issue on gender as an issue of it's your family and you shouldn't hit people due to frustration period. All that shows is a lack of emotional maturity on the OP's part. I'm no saint, I had a huge issue with fighting as a teenager and have gotten my ass kicked plenty of times. I don't think I could ever lay a hand on my mother or sister though.

This idea that you can craft your rationale on this subject with this notion of two wrongs might a right is absolute nonsense. You are 16 and more than capable of controlling your composure in high intensity situations. Part of being a man is not letting emotion come in the way of your better judgement and decision making. "I am angry at them" Well be a man and control that anger. "I'm the type of guy you can trust to help you." No you aren't, you are a dumbass kid who hits his family members because you lack any control of your emotions.

[Chico_brah]

The only way you can control this situation is to nut up and be the bigger man. Be mature and handle these situations with logical thought rather than emotional outburst. Lowering yourself to their level does not do anything but aggravate the pertaining issue to a greater extent.

[TiffyPuff]

In a matter of self defense, yes he can hit his mother. She should be a fucking adult and not initiate violence to begin with. Otherwise, no, he shouldn't hit his mother.

If his mother had a brain, she'd know there are plenty of nonviolent ways to discipline a child.

Maybe you should learn a bit about operant conditioning so you can see how an actual adult raises a child.

[Puppylove94]

@Chico_brah exactly.

OP, it's in the past, you can't change it. Just own up to it, apologize, and it won't hinder you unless you keep putting your problems on other people. Learn to take responsibilty for your own actions.

[Chico_brah]

@TiffyPuff No it's called we live in a generation where our youth has no foundational basis or understanding of discipline. His mother is who she is and she is not changing anytime soon. I'll regurgitate and mention again that this idea that you can craft a narrative on a notion of two wrongs make a right is nonsensical.

"His mother is a bitch and shouldn't do that"

Now might I ask what this accomplishes? Absolutely nothing. If he has this false pretense idea that his mother or sister is some enemy out there in the ether in every given situation, then he will be be successful. This whole 'rebel' or teenage angst attitude does nothing but aggravate the issue. OP needs to stop having emotional outburst and start acting like a man about the shitty situation he is in.

[Afrochick]

@anonman32 LOL RANDOM

[Asker]

I have apologized. But they will curse at me when I try to apologize. I know it's in the past. But they don't want to forget. I am more mature now compared to when I was 13.
I am responsible for all of my actions. But reminding me of my past doesn't help me move on.

I am getting help right now but the only thing in my way is my family. I can't move on because they remind me of the past.

[TiffyPuff]

@Chico_brah actually read what he wrote. That incident was several years ago, when he was eleven.

You damaged people really need to take a psychology course. Seriously, do yourselves a favor so you can understand just how messed up you sound. Go to therapy.

To the OP, seriously, get into school and drop your family from your life. They're trash. Go see a therapist, learn how to overcome your anger and the abuse, and put this behind you. I highly recommend not asking important questions here any more, since clearly the average GaG user is too damaged to help you.

[Chico_brah]

You got two more years. Join the military after HS or go to university.

[Chico_brah]

@TiffyPuff Yes, when someone has an opposition in perspective on a particular subject, your default is to say that they are damaged and need help through therapy. Very mature.

[TiffyPuff]

@Chico_brah
In general, I'd agree with you. But as it relates to physical abuse? No. I genuinely believe that PuppyLove94 should see a therapist, plus several others who answered this question.

[Puppylove94]

@TiffyPuff lmao thanks for your concern, but I'm perfectly fine. My parents raised me perfectly and I plan on raising my children the same.

[Chico_brah]

@TiffyPuff Is there a solution in saying what you are saying? No matter the scenario the OP is responsible for his actions. Him aggravating the situation by having emotional outburst makes the problem worst. I told him to keep his composure because it's in the best interest to do so. He lives with these people for two more years. I don't know how you can disagree with any part of what I said.

[TiffyPuff]

Then hopefully you won't have kids.

[TiffyPuff]

@Chico_brah
I don't disagree with that sentiment. I disagree with people normalizing abuse and holding sexist attitudes and judgments toward him that actually don't give him the fucking advice he needs to move past this positively.

[Chico_brah]

@TiffyPuff Again... I have an opposition, a very rational one mind you, and your default is to shame me on a personal level. Do you realize this is extremely immature? A lot of people are narrow minded but to shame others that oppose you on a personal level is in a whole new realm of itself.

[TiffyPuff]

@Chico_brah read what I said again. I didn't disagree with what you said. Reread that last sentence so I don't have to type it again. I further add that at the first opportunity, he should ditch his family. We are in full agreement that he shouldn't hit and needs to be in control of himself.

What I'm disagreeing with is everyone else's normalization of violence. Apparently many on GaG consider child abuse acceptable.

[Chico_brah]

@TiffyPuff Even if you disagree with puppylove 94, that isn't really an optimal approach when you oppose somebodies views. You are telling her she should never have kids and throwing condescending blows at her because you disagree with her lol. A lot of people believe that spanking your children has a lot of positive reinforcement. You just shoot down anyone who has disagreement with you by derogetory means.

[Chico_brah]

@TiffyPuff I don't believe the constitutes child abuse in the slightest. In bootcamp I had this drill instructor SSGT Lerma. He hated me and would drill me in the squad bay every night during firewatch while everyone else was sleeping. Every Time I made even the slightest mistake he would shove my m16 in my face having the butt of the rifle hit my nose and jaw extremely hard everytime. It was subtle enough to say he wasn't directly striking me. I was bleeding from the mouth at the end of most nights. Then he would tell me to clean my disgusting self up. THAT would be considered physical abuse. Spanking your child because he talked back to you is not child abuse lol. I personally think that our generation has gone way too soft. Parents are trying to be their children's friends instead of their parents. I'm entitled to that opinion just as you are entitled to your opinion.

[Katy16]

@Chico_brah THANK YOU for saying this generation has gone soft. Omg it bothers me so much

[TiffyPuff]

@Chico_brah
People can believe that all they want, research doesn't agree. If she went to a therapist, they wouldn't support her views, they'd diagnose it for the damage it is.

As for your boot camp, it makes sense -- they are trying to strip humanity and inhibition away so you can kill other people. But good luck bringing that back into civilian life.

[TiffyPuff]

@Katy16 you can be tough on children without physically abusing them.

[Katy16]

@TiffyPuff I highly disagree that spanking is physical abuse

[Chico_brah]

@TiffyPuff That's merely your opinion, which you are entitled to, but it's certainly not deemed as absolute. If you think that all research supports your claim in favor, then you are being blinded by selection bias. There are plenty of psychologist and professionally conducted studies would contradict what you are saying.

www.cnn.com/.../
www.thenewamerican.com/.../548-new-study-finds-spanking-is-good-for-kids
time.com/.../

__

We can talk about the opposing issue..

www.cnn.com/.../
www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...-monsters-children.html

___
Never planned to implement my military experiences into civilian life. I'd be in prison right now if I did that.

__

My point is that people are entitled to their opinions for we all have different values and perspectives on things. You bringing others down by derogetory means because they oppose you in a rational way is extremely immature.

[Chico_brah]

@Katy16 Lol np. I think it's extremely evident that this is an issue. Our generation thinks that they are entitled to everything. Special snowflake syndrome ahaha

[Katy16]

@Chico_brah yes completely, it's ridiculous lol

[TiffyPuff]

@Chico_brah
Marjorie Gunnoe isn't widely viewed as credible, given that her research conveniently supports her religious views in a geographical area where Christian conservatism and anti-science is regularly espoused.

I'm so done with this question.

[TiffyPuff]

@Chico_brah
It's reasonable to expect adults not to abuse children. That isn't special snowflake syndrome.

But clearly we aren't going to agree on this, so respond if you'd like, but for me, conversation = over

[Chico_brah]

@TiffyPuff You can attempt to attest my sources all day long. That just further validates my point in which I stated that you could possibly be blinded by selection bias. If we start debating on that subject then it turns into a debate of your facts, thus your feelings/opinions, which is precisely my point I'm trying to convey to you. My point doesn't stem from source credibility. It has nothing to do with Marjorie Gunnoe and everything to do with the fact that you are being extremely narrow minded and immature towards those that have a difference in opinion towards you.

[Anonymous]

If someone hits you, you have the full authority to hit them back, regardless of their gender. My younger sister thought it was funny to hit me because "guys can't hit girls." I warned her 3 times before I had enough and kicked her so hard she fell on the ground crying. She hasn't hit me since and I don't feel bad about it. She's lucky I gave her 3 chances, in the real world she would have been hit after the first one

[Jeeevan]

You're not woman beater, it sounds like they both deserved it, they were abusing you.

[reixun]

What the fuck. How could you punch your own mom? It truly is the end of times

[Touchmehxx]

She hit him...

[reixun]

@Touchmehxx Um, that's called discipline. You *never* hit your mom, parents want what's best for their kids. Jesus, this is like that Dr Phil episode where that chubby kid slapped his mom
sftimes.s3.amazonaws.com/.../...868e834609dfd8.jpg

[Touchmehxx]

You think abusing your child is ok? And parents don't automatically deserve respect especially when they do things like this. Why can't someone hit their mum if she's hitting them? She's not some sort of God

[reixun]

@Touchmehxx There is *abuse* aka no reason for hitting painfully.

There is *discipline* which is what it is majority of the time.

I cannot believe y'all would hit your momma 😭 I'm shocked

[Touchmehxx]

I cannot believe y'all think it's ok for parents to abuse children which could have a devestating impact in the future 😭Disgusting. If the child is old enough to understand right from wrong; explain what they did was wrong. If the child isn't old enough to understand; tell them, explain. Don't hit them for it

[reixun]

@Touchmehxx Some kids need discipline, association of doing something wrong to pain. It's not abuse Obviously because it's your MOM. Easy way to avoid it? Listen to your damn parents. They want the best for you, if they don't then something is wrong with y'all.

[Touchmehxx]

You say it isn't abouse because it's your mum. Say if your dad sexually assaulted you, it's not abuse right? Because he's your dad

[reixun]

@Touchmehxx Wtf? How can you jump from your parent smacking you for coming home late all the way to sexual abuse. You crazy.

[Touchmehxx]

Hitting is abuse, sexual assault is abuse. We're talking about abuse. You obviously know I'm right

[Rawrzz]

Read any child psychology book, and you will not find in one line "Kids need association of doing something wrong with pain." Punishment is only effective if it is *constantly* applied, and it is impossible to apply it in every situation: you're going to miss something. For instance, take prison. Prison recidivism (how often prisoners reoffend and end up back in jail) is at 65% over a 3 year period. In a 5 year period? 10 years? It's probably 85-90% of prisoners will just end up right back in prison. This proves that punishment is not effective at reducing undesired behavior.

By hitting them, you're not teaching them that doing wrong things causes pain. You're teaching them "When someone does something you don't like, hit their ass."

[TiffyPuff]

His mom deserved it. She's an abusive bitch and shouldn't be surprised that she actually taught her son to be violent.

[reixun]

@TiffyPuff 67.media.tumblr.com/.../...ldtpi61rpv42lo2_250.gif

@rawrzz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7PS3SJ8iis

[Rawrzz]

Well, believe what you like. When you have kids, hit them as much as you like. Then watch them turn violent, as well. Maybe then you'll get it.

[TiffyPuff]

Christ, WTF is wrong with you. Go ahead, hit your kids too and see if they don't punch your teeth in.

[reixun]

@Rawrzz Um, my mom has hit me with a hanger a couple times when I misbehaved. It's discipline. I'd say I was raised correctly and have extremely good behavior now. I see a kid getting smacked by his parent then that kid must have done something stupid to deserve it. In my culture, parents get the *utmost* respect from their kids. When I have children, they'll treat me with the same respect that I treat my parents.

[reixun]

@TiffyPuff www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2124024-would-you-hit-your-mom-if-she-hit-you

My kid wouldn't get disciplined because I'd have raised them correctly unless you two.

[reixun]

unlike*

[Rawrzz]

Like I said. Good luck with that. If it isn't overt, it will be subtle. But the negative effect will still be there. But before then. Take a few psychology courses when you go to college.

[Princeofanons]

Runs in the genes huh? Only you can prove them wrong

[Rawrzz]

It runs in the environment.

[mutedaisy]

Honestly, if they treat you like that why wouldn't you hit back? They are all violent towards you and expect nothing... Shame on them.

[deesmiles13]

Personally I don't think you're going to become a woman beater I think you come from an abusive family and that's why you did those things. And if you want to be a doctor? then do it. if it's what you really want.

[AnonRom]

Your family physically assaulted you and you responded. People will always stigmatize the man in this situation but you are probably a good person dont give up on your dreams.

[anonman32]

simple, just tell them you are a beater. you beat women, men everyone. tell them you are not a sexist sack of shit and you will beat people that do you wrong.

[LoveHorses]

Yeah your family is bunch of crazy mess up individuals. Two things to do are stop acting like them and get out.

[Whaaaaa]

Stop blaming others for your behavior and man up

[Touchmehxx]

He got beat by him mum. She deserved it. And telling someone to man up because they hit back their abuser is fucked up

[Rawrzz]

His mother taught him violence is the solution when you want to correct someone's behavior, and he is not an adult yet. How about telling his mother and sisters to woman up and stop being so aggressive.

[Errhh]

@Touchmehxx His mom did not abuse him. He clearly states that he stole money... That's something to worry about as a parent you ignorant fool. He could end up in Jail or dead or who knows.. But you're just as naive as this kid.. You do not understand parents try to find a punishment to keep you from spelling stupid, dumb dangerous things... and as for the sister, if she hits him, sure she's asking for it, but he also clearly states he punched her when she broke something and NOT because she hit him... You're just as pathetic as he is. Teenagers who have your type of mentality are basically retarded.. Hopefully you'll grow a brain soon.

[Touchmehxx]

@Errhh well I'm sorry but you're the retarded one. You think it's ok to physically hit your child. This is abuse.

[gobsmacked3]

smart ^

[Asker]

@Errhh I didn't steal money, at what statement did I say I steal money? I said I used 5$ too much. My mom gave me 10$ to buy candy, but I could only use 2$. I didn't know how money worked so I bought candy with 7$ without thinking.

[gobsmacked3]

sorry mate, but anyone who hits their mum is a fucking dog- where is your respect for the woman who carried you for 10 months and went through such pain to give birth. Sacrificed so much to raise you...

Fucking pathetic

[Touchmehxx]

@gobsmacked3 if she went through so much she should care and not abuse her child

[gobsmacked3]

@Touchmehxx As a man there are some things you never do, regardless of the circumstance

Hitting a woman is one of them, stooping to hit your mum is inconceivable

[Touchmehxx]

@gobsmacked3 um no. If she hits, hit back.

[TiffyPuff]

@Errhh and how does hitting her son teach him not to steal money. It doesn't. She was abusive, and he showed her what he actually learned from her -- violence.

[Mynameisbobby]

@Touchmehxx you are right

[Mynameisbobby]

@Errhh he never stole money he never said that.

[Mynameisbobby]

@gobsmacked3 she doesn't respect him

[Kantana]

You really shouldn't punch your mom. But your sister really deserved it lol

[Touchmehxx]

Just because she's her mum doesn't automatically give her snag sort of right

[saud1998]

Dude, you're fucked up. You never ever hit a girl. It's just not right.

[Touchmehxx]

That's sexist

[Icyfire101]

He hit his sister out of defense. Putting all women on a pedestal away from being hit out if self defense, frankly, is stupid