My girlfriend says we are too different

My girlfriend and I have been together for 14 months, and recently had told me that we are two different people, and since I've known her she has not been her "true" self. She wants to go back to being herself. (I'm not quite a crazy party-goer, but I know how to show her a good time, and she comes from a past full of the party/drug lifestyle.) It never really mattered before though, because we were so happy for 13 months, and then out of nowhere all this drama started. We often times would talk about getting an apartment when her lease was up and moving in together.we had even mentioned a couple times briefly kids in the future (by future I mean 5-7 years).

I went to her apartment on a Monday to grab some things that belonged to me like my laptop and while there I tried to smooth things over, but she refused to say anything. Later that night, at almost midnight, she called me and said she didn't say anything because she knew everything I was saying was true (all couples have differences but they work it out and that is what makes them stronger) and asked me to forgive her. I did, and we were ok for a few days. She would call me one day, and we'd hang out or talk and we'd be fine, but then the next day she wouldn't call, or when I called her she would be very short like "Just got home from work, gonna eat and take a shower bye" and that is literally all she would say, and not call back. Then the next day we'd be happy again, and the next not-so happy again. So Thursday night, having not received any phone call, I called her and told her it seems she doesn't know what she wants and is confused, and that she can't keep yo-yo-ing me around whenever she pleases,and she told me that she thinks she's doing it because it's just not going to work. The next day while I was at work, she called and texted me saying she was sorry and being unfair and wanted to work it out, so we were together for the weekend and even went to the beach on Sunday with another couple (friends). Then Monday, I could feel her being short with me again, so Tuesday I told her we needed to talk, so she came over to my house, and I told her that this wasn't working (I was hoping since I was the one doing the dumping, she would become upset and realize what she was doing, but instead she took the news easily and said sorry for pushing me and pulling me back, then went to her apartment.)

I called her the next day saying sorry and we can work it out, but she answered the phone very angrily and told me that she does not want to be with me and doesn't want to speak with me anytime soon. I tried sending her flowers but she e-mailed me after she received them and told me to leave her alone. So I'm trying, but it's so hard because I love her so much and I can't bare the thought of losing her.

To me it sounds like she is very confused as to what she wants, but at the same time I'm afraid she seriously doesn't want to see me again. What should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • oooh. that's tough. maybe she's just not right for you. do you really want to be interested in a partier who is involved with drugs. I mean she might have been fun, but think about it in the long run. is it worth loving someone who is fun, when you could be working on finding someone who will be successful, make good decisions, and not be involved in drugs and things that could later affect your family. (by the way I'm not really implying that she can't be successful, because I don't know, just a thought) anyways I don't think she really doesn't want to talk to you again, she is just hurt. consider what I said and analyze the relationship then decide whether or not she is worth trying to fix it. if you think she is I think you should not give up quickly because despite her pretending to not want to talk to you she probably is dyeing to talk to you. girls aren't good with feelings, and some want to play hard to get once something goes wrong, because she won't want you to know how much it really hurt her, because that would give you the upper hand. think about everything then you need to make your decision.