Why does he act weird when his wife is around?

[Anonymous]

I have a married friend and we kind of flirt a little but absolutely nothing has ever happened between us. He always talks and smiles and looks at me and kind of follows me around but when his wife is around he freezes up and gets this scared to death look on his face. Why? Nothing has went on between us. The other day a bunch of us went to an amusement park. When he would speak to me his wife would look at him like she was going to choke him. I don't get it. The flirting is innocent and she never even sees it. Why does he act so weird?

[hisangel]

He freezes up because she is his wife and he has a priority to please her and make her happy over you. He made a commitment to love her and forsake all others. And he doesn't want her thinking he is going to do anything with you.

His flirting may lead to him asking you if you want more but luckily you have already seen how adulterers act. When it's you and him, he is flirty and open. But when his wife is there guess who is going to win? His priorities are going to be him, his wife, his children (if he has any), his mother and father, his siblings, his job is in there somewhere. He is going to make decisions to persevere those things first and foremost.

I'm not trying to hurt you but I think you need to see that his wife isn't an evil shrew who is jealous of you. She is the one who has him. And the evil looks probably aren't jealousy, they are "Oh another one!" I know you think he treats you different then other women but he most likely doesn't. Adulterers throw out the vibe to many women and then just flirt with the ones who pick up on it. I can't tell you how many girls I've heard think they are the only one who he flirts wth and then get a shock when they see him flirting with others.

She is his wife and she has every right to look at you however she wants. I hope you can respect their marriage and not flirt with a married man to stroke your ego. If you truly don't want her to get hurt, leave her husband alone.

[Asker]

Thank you. That puts it in perspective. He makes me feel special but obviousy his wife rules. Now I feel really disgusted and never want to talk to him again because he will just flirt more. What a troll. I am glad you spelled it out for me.

[Tamikaze]

He is acting weird due to what is in his mind. He's probably imagined all sorts of things and maybe hopes it would happen. And when I mean "things", I mean sex, not a relationship or love. Who knows, maybe he even let it slip to his wife that he flirts with you or that you flirt with him. People do all sorts of crazy things in marriage. Wives know when a guy is treating another woman in a special way, so he might not have said anything, she just realizes that he treats you a bit different.

[Asker]

That is a very helpful answer. I hope he wouldn't tell his wife that I/we flirt. I would not want to hurt her. There is no intent to my flirting. He is hot, we are friends, and it is fun. That is all. But it probably is his guilt that makes him act that way. And she probably has jealousy because she knows him well enough to see that he treats me a bit differently than other women. Women have that "radar". Thanks again for your great response. This is really worrying me!

[Tamikaze]

I would hope he wouldn't tell his wife, but in marriage people do things to try and stick it to their partner out of anger or to show how desirable they are to others. It happens.

I wouldn't worry, I would just stop flirting with him. Flirting should be lighthearted fun, not something that causes grief and concern, particularly when it is harmless flirting never intended to create a relationship.

[JUST13]

"Tamikaze" is probably right. But if you do not agree then its his wife... She is probably jealous & angry. I suggest keeping a distance.