My pregnant wife disgusts me. how can I hide it?

[Anonymous]

i find my pregnant wife disgusting. I've always liked really thin girls, and my wife was very thin until now. now she looks like she ate a balloon. I know she can't control it but I can't even stand to look at her, let alone touch her. I know she can tell how I feel and it's making her feel bad. how can I hide my disgust? how can I look at her without grimacing? how can I touch her without wanting to puke? and also how can she lose weight the quickest after the baby is born? I can tolerate this for 9 months but not a second after I have to.

[Jinmetsu_Rasetsu]

Personally, I almost understand your dilemma. Nevertheless, I do not condone your situation. By that, I mean this: You are married for better or worse. I am not married and almost envy your situation. I would not find my wife any less appealing given the circumstance. Nevertheless, I must admit that given your situation you are being unfair not only to your wife, but in turn yourself.

Let's explore why:

First of all, the reason you got married, what is it? Well, biologically, your primitive subconscious desire to become married is to have sex without having to challenge for it. Consequently, sex=procreation. Now, was your reason to get married to meet the human requirement to procreate, or was it to have some hot chick on lockdown for your own sexual desire? Reason I bring this up is simple. Simply, if you loved her, you would overlook her pregnancy. You made mention that she was slim and therefore I logically deducted that you were attracted to her because of her slender build. Her looking like, as you said, "swallowed a baloon", indicates that you perhaps married for the wrong reason. If it were me, I would still be attracted to her. I would possibly (because I am not sure because I have never been married, nor do I have children at the age of 32...) not be affected at all.. As twisted as it may seem to you, I may still be sexually attracted to her. Why you may ask? Simple, I made it a point to visualize and perhaps precognate the situation given my understanding of the way the female body changes considering pregnancy. If you were to have given yourself the opportunity to test yourself mentally, you could perhaps have prepared yourself for the occasion you are currently presented with. By my discernment, you are not truly in love with your wife, and therefore you have placed an unfair burden upon yourself. My percentage ratio is this: 33.33334% unfair to you and 66.666% unfair to your wife.

The solution to this dilemma is to face what you fear. I am no psycologist, but a drill instructor... All fears I have, I face. Some fears must be faced head-on. How you face your fears head-on, you may ask? Simple... Talk to your physician, see if it is safe to have coitus with your wife given the stage of her pregnancy. I only say this on a logical level... Women tend to have a different hormonal balance while pregnant, and often become a little more sexual in the realm of pregnancy. Given that you may be delightfully suprised.

Finally, I must say this... You are awfully concerned with her losing weight... What, you going to divorce her if she don't do it? The best way for her to lose the weight is that you be a little bit more nurturing while she is in her current state. She may get depressed and depression in women often leads to heightened cortosol levels which are fat retainers. Her stress will keep her fat, so if you are really concerned, make her pregnancy as stress free as possible!

[michie]

If you are no psychologist, it is probably not a good idea to try to analyze someone's mind. Even a lot of certified psychologist don't do it right, if there are any at all. Asking questions that OP already know the answer to, quoting OP's words, and drawing inferences out of nowhere and that made no sense... you have way too much time to waste. You don't sound intelligent at all.

Probably better off just to tell OP that he is an ass, if he wasn't trolling.

[Jinmetsu_Rasetsu]

And you are a meddling little child. So I guess we are even. If it not make sense, perhaps you need to go back to school and learn ENGLISH. And for you to say I don't sound intellegent? Don't make me laugh. I have more experience in my finger than you do in your entire brain.

[Jinmetsu_Rasetsu]

FYI, I took several Psychology courses even though my degree as an Aerospace engineer did not require them. I took the classes for credits instead of other nonsensical college courses for the credits. You should just go to school and mind your own damn business instead of trying to spout nonsense to someone with the intent of helping others. Find something better to do, like read a book or something. I read all the time.

[Robertgc]

First-off, let me tell you, I know how you feel. Many people in my family disgust me. Luckily I find it easy to hide it, which doesn't help you any. What I would do is tell her that you are not used to how she looks, that it's a little creepy. Maybe add in a, "I'm a little scared of becoming a father.". What ever you do, DO NOT say anything about hating her body, it's just like telling her that she looks fat... It's not good. Once she knows the reason for your actions, she will become less hostile to the situation. But you need to realize that she is your wife and lying to her is not the way to fix ANYTHING. Also, to my knowledge, once a woman is pregnant she will not keep a flat stomach...

So now that we have her emotions covered we can attempt to keep your sanity. What to do when you break down is:

1) Isolate yourself:

During this brief isolation(5-15 minutes) you have time to vent to yourself. It also removes the source of your stress. Now don't take this as a bunch of psychiatrist bullsh*t. Stress is a key factor in anger/hostility.

2) Eat something sweet. Scratch that. Eat a Hershey's. It contains chemicals much like your standard marijuana. It will Induce a "state of high" (you'll feel happy).

3) Deal with it:

If you love her you'll set your disgust aside and deal with it.

Lastly, crunches will help tighten and tone her stomach after birth. If she is like many pregnant woman she will also have an increased breast size which may or may not result in stretch marks. Over sized breasts may be combated with many workouts that include working out biceps, the abdomen, and the pectoralis majors(pecs). She should be able to start exercising in around two weeks if she gave a natural birth. For a C-section it may be up to three months before she can start a workout regime although light cardio may be fine.

Remember that she should only participate in any degree of a workout when she(with the opinion of her doctor) feels ready.

Best of luck!

Robert Crowley

[e-mail]

[DishyFishy]

oh god, shut up.

[blandd72]

lmfao ahahah sh*t I cried.. dishfishyy Lahbahaha

[Perfectlyaverage]

While i am 9 months pregnant myself and this truly upsets me, i really want to understand the psychology of it. I can see you are really looking for help or insight. First of all, think of what she is doing. She was probably sick as a dog, throwing up every day (possibly all day), breasts hurt, extremely emotional and self-conscious. She probably has cankles- or may soon, the back and hip pain alone can be enough to put you down flat, and FYI i am positive if she was a lean girl before, she is far more concious about the changes in her body than you are. In a few months, she will be going through the worst pain possible. All of this is for you (and because of you.) i think you should put on a blindfold and feel her belly when the baby moves. It makes it real. You gain an attachment to your child and therefore your wife. I also think it may be beneficial for you to get a hold of a pregnancy simulator vest and wear it for a while. See how your back feels after a day. It sounds like you need to get an understanding (emotionally) of the belly and appreciate it. Become a dad, learn, prepare, do all the manly putting together of furniture. I hope that after you gain understanding and sympathy, you will no longer see the belly as unattractive fat but a beautiful baby. Your baby. Shower your wife with love. and by the way, after she has the baby her boobs will be huge and breastfeeding will probably take away a lot of the fat that you are SO concerned about. But i also think, once you have your child in your arms you will love your wife more than ever, looks aside. Understand her feelings and let her heal as SHE wishes, not as you expect of her.

[Mylonite]

She's CARRYING A CHILD of course she's not going to have a flat belly. What were you expecting when she told you she was pregnant? The stork to come by and leave the baby on the porch and her not gain a pound? Your insensitivity is disgusting. Once she has her (hopefully healthy) baby, she's going to be too tired to focus on losing weight for purely your own selfish reasons. I get it, we want our spouse to be hot and attractive, but the fact that she's carrying (I'm assuming) your child, that alone should be enough for you WANT to be around her.

The best of luck to your wife.

[nermalinda]

Go to a therapist. You need serious help STAT.

[Jinmetsu_Rasetsu]

Yeah, and the therapist will say nothing different than what I said... Or at least a close enough facsimile.... His dilemma is that he hides his fear with disgust... He is afraid of how society would look at his wife... Moreover, his fear dictates that he should not touch his wife in her current state... Pretty sad if you ask me... He needs to face his fears head-on...

[nermalinda]

I gotta say, impressive analysis! :)

[michie]

Jinmetsu Rasetsu knows everything. Listen to him. According to him, if OP "face his fears head-on" and touch his wife in her current state, then he would not feel disgusted anymore. So then he would have no more fear, and he will no longer be an ass. So OP, touch your wife, and all problems solved!

[michie]

And he is suggesting OP not to go see the therapist because he already said everything that the therapist would say.

[RealDeal]

That's kinda harsh to say buddy. How do you look at the situation and get disgusted? Maybe you should see past your narrow mind and see that this is the beauty of child birth. You think your wife feels attractive right now? Probably not, especially seeing as how she isn't getting any compliments from you. See that she is doing what she needs to do to have healthy baby. Not only that she probably is very emotional at this time and you saying that you wanna puke when you look at her isn't something a pregnant woman wants to hear. Everything in her body goes straight to the baby first. Food, nutrients, and believe it or not emotions.

I believe it would take a real man to be able to do what our mom's, sister's, wives/future wives go through to give us such a blessing as child birth. I will admit it I could never put my body through that change, giving up food that the baby doesn't like to prevent you from getting sick, not having sex or less of it!

The whole process of it is just amazing, open your eyes and see that. I think you should be more worried that you need to stay positive, worry about being a good dad, a good man by appreciating your woman that is blessing you with a family and that your child is healthy and gets your wife's attitude, not yours.

[Anonymous]

You are disgusting. . .

Maybe you should have thought about how "GROSS" the miracle of life was before you knocked her up. CONDOMS are cheap.

That's YOUR baby in her womb and you're a disrespectful, disgusting, putrid, vile pig. I hope she looks great after she has YOUR child and realizes was a douche you are and finds a better man. . .

You'll probably be one of those overly-critical fathers whose child can't do a damn thing right, be good enough, look pretty/handsome enough. . .

HAHA. Wait til you see your baby be born. You should YouTube your reaction. . .you'd probably die of "disgust".

BTW, it IS NOT normal for a man to not appreciate his pregnant wife. . .she should dump your ass.

[saphirasilverwings]

For one thing, she WILL NOT instantly lose weight "a second after" the baby is born. It doesn't happen that way. Sorry. She may or may not lose it easily, but it'll take some time either way. Second, if the sight of a woman who is carrying your child disgusts you, I suggest NOT having any more children. And possibly staying far away from all females in the future as well.

If my husband had the nerve to be disgusted by me while I was pregnant with his baby, I'd probably divorce him on the spot. That's not my idea of real love, nor is it showing any kind of marital support.

It's pure superficiality and selfishness.

[Bubbles]

Wow, you make me sick by reading this.. You knew she was going to gain weight, then why get her pregnant if you can't handle the fact she is going to get bigger as time goes on.. It's your baby she is carring for in there. And once she has the baby she isn't going to be down a size 2 within day's it takes a while.

[jessicafrigginmarie]

This post really bothers me, she is your wife, and when you took vows, you promised to love her through anything. The only advice I can give you is to re-evaluate your love. Pregnancy is natural, you will NEVER find a woman who doesn't get big during pregnancy. If you are that disgusted with her appearance while she is bearing YOUR CHILD, maybe you should consider dating men, otherwise, you will be one lonely kid. I hope to never date a man like you. Men like you are the ones that make girls loose all hope in a relationship. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

You're really immature. I don't think you should have reproduced or got married in the first place. Sorry but you sound like a 15 year old boy who has discovered his first female body through p*rn, not like a grown man with a family. I feel sorry for your wife because this is a really difficult and probably scary time for her, and she has the "support" of a man who is disgusted by her. I don't have anything of help to say to you but If your wife came on here asking for advice I would suggest she start looking for a good lawyer and get a real man.

[Minxxe]

alot of people are angry at you - I've got the best advice for you:

BEST way of losing weight after the baby - iS TO DUMP YOUR UGLY ARSE, she'll literally be HALF the person she was and much f***ing happier for it. my god, how would you deal with post natal depression I wonder?

will your baby's sh*tty nappy disgust you too - time to grow a pair of balls - or don't go impregnating anyone else.

[blandd72]

o calm down..damn chick..

[ilovecookies]

How can you be so superficial? Your wife is very brave for making your baby out of love. I would think soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many times before actually wanting to be pregnant. She's suffering so much and you think she's disgusting... I don't think she likes being fat, and it is said that giving birth is the worst pain on earth. Because she is pregnant she cannot do a lot of the things she loved. Sorry for being so rude, I just cannot believe how a man can think a woman who is sacrificing so much for him is disgusting.

[ilovecookies]

I thought love was more than looks... maybe you don't love her at all, I really feel bad for her. *gives her a hug*

[Anonymous]

Dear Anonymous User,

If you are disgusted by your wife during pregnancy, it is probably an indication that you should not have knocked her up in the first place. It would appear that, as you are shallow enough to only tolerate her when she is thin, you should also not have married her, as it is probable that she will eventually put on weight, even if she manages to "lose weight the quickest way after the baby is born". This is the natural way of things, and entering into what is clearly supposed to be a lifelong commitment to another person based on the assumption that she will remain in the same shape she did as a young woman is ridiculous and ignorant. If you really loved your wife, then you should stop being such a shallow misogynist and focus on supporting her through her pregnancy, you won't be helping her hormonal state by making it obvious that you find her repulsive.

Best of luck with that whole family thing.

[Tonks]

Well said!

[whatwhatwhat]

with all do respect you are so mean! this is your baby too and she is doing this for your soon to be baby!

it looks like she ate a balloon consider your self lucky! at least her ass arms and thighs are not getting all gross! and her stomach is firm and round not flabby fat a jiggly! you need to get over it looks like you have issues this is bad and she must be feeling really bad right now :( poor girl

pregnancy is a beautiful thing embrace it and if she was thin she should get thin faster than other woman. and know it may take a long time!

when you look at her remember why you married her I bet it wasn't only her thin body (hopefully!)

[sweetpea_8893]

YOUR the disgusting one! I mean the whole reason of marriage is because you want to be with that person for the rest of your life.. not because of the way she looks but for who she is.. that's why you should love her! If I could tell that my husband felt that way about me when I was carrying HIS child then honestly I wouldn't want to be with him anymore!

[Anonymous]

I know you don't mean to feel this way about your wife. We all have our turn offs, & yours happens to be fatness. Try to think about how wonderful she is, how beautiful her face is, & know it's not fat in her stomach, but your beautiful baby that you created out of love. Try not to make her feel bad, she will feel insecure being pregnant. As for after she has the baby, know that it will take time for her to lose weight. Ask her to join a gym with you. Make sure you tell her she's beautiful so that she doesn't think you're not attracted to her. Women need to know men are attracted to them. And be patient with her, she would be with you if you were on the other end of the stick.

[blackxrose]

Seriously people like you are a disgrace to the human race IM pregnant and I was big to begin with so am I any less beautiful cause I'm carry a child I don't freakin think so. I can't believe you married her if you didn't even love her and yes you don't love her cause LOVE is deeper than what you freakin look like YOU are disgusting GROW THE HELL UP! I hope that child is healthy as for your wife since apparently you don't have enough love for her to wish her well with birth my god all you care about is how she is going to look after. hope she dumps your a** right after the babies born cause you don't derserve her or the baby. to me you are just a sperm doner not a FATHER OR HUSBAND!

[Jon414]

One word, narcissist.

Now for a bit more. Get over yourself, its not all about you. With this sort of attitude I'd be surprised if she didn't leave you before she gives birth. Grow up, be a man, and love the one your with. If you really love her you should be able to deal with some imperfections. Maybe you are only with her for the sex though as obviously her having a fit body is of primary importance.

You have a baby on the way and I can guaranty that there are some more adjustments you are going to need to make. Oh, I hope beer guts and the baldness gene don't run in the family! ;)

[Tonks]

Wow. grow up. I actually can't believe you think she's disgusting bcos she is pregnant. er... no? She's even more beautiful then she has ever been! and you don' deserve someone like her or that baby. If you can't handle her being pregnant cos of the fact she now has a tummy there is your son/daughter in there. she is still your wife regardless. ergh... seriously. you maake me sick.

[Anonymous]

hm, doesn't really sound like you LOVE her, that or you have a lot of psychological issues stemming from your past... is there a reason why you are so fat phobic? sounds like your wife isn't even fat even while she is pregnant... you are just super sensitive to the thought of it. This is an issue YOU need to overcome, nothing your WIFE needs to change!

"how can I touch her without wanting to puke?"... this makes me think that you have an obsession with being repulsed. It's kind of like someone who is cat phobic, for example, lol they have to learn to get over it... it's a compulsion. Otherwise, you will never ever be satisfied with anyone you are married to and choose to have children with, cause guess what, they all look like they "swallowed a balloon" lol

[moaterboat]

I don't find pregnant women at all attractive either, but you have to remember that she is more than just your sex partner, she is one of your best friends. And right now she needs you. Ignore all the women (half of which don't have the guts to post who they really are) They are all just p*ssy because they refuse to see things from your point of view.

Nobody says you need to find her attractive when she is pregnant, but you do need to stick by her and help here through this difficult time.

[NotTheMomma]

*shakes head*

Hopefully she can tolerate YOU for nine months. :S

[phil2]

lol

[ikarus]

lol good one.

[ilovecookies]

haha

[Anonymous]

I really hope I never marry a guy like you. I didn't know someone age 18-24 could be so immature. She's your wife, and I do hope you married her for reasons other than her appearance. And for f***s sake, she's carrying your child.

[Anonymous]

Dude your an A$$, she's pregnant she has to gain weight other wise the baby won't make it. I normally can see why a husband can lose interest in his wife she gains a lot of weight but not because she's pregnant besides pregnant women can be cute