He wants to come over to my house, but I can't let him...what do I do?

[Anonymous]

This guy I've been dating for 3 weeks now wants to come over to my house, but I can't let him. I live with my parents and they won't let me have a guy over unless I'm in a serious relationship with him. I don't want to be sneaking around with him when my parents are gone, because I'm 25 and he's 29 and I don't want to act like kids trying to hide from the parents. He's been asking me numerous times. He says that it's not fair cause I've been to his place. He says someones place tells a lot about a person. I think he thinks I'm hiding something. Also when he asks it happens to be when my parents are home. I don't want him thinking that I'm just giving excuses. He said he doesn't mind if he runs into my parents, that he's good with parents. What should I do? Please Help! I don't want to loose him. Financially I can't leave my parents for a couple years.

[polytrope3]

I'd calmly explain the situation. As a compromise, you could be proactive and pick a time when you know the house will be empty to invite him over (i.e., for a few hours when the parents are at work, or for longer if they're on vacation, etc.). If he thinks you're hiding something, that would demonstrate that you're being truthful. ...and early in a relationship, trust can't be taken for granted by either party. You just can't expect someone who has known you for 3 weeks to have a really deep level of trust yet.

I would hope that this would solve the problem, and if a reasonable explanation and an invite/visit isn't enough, I'd seriously question where this guy is coming from.

[Littletad]

Regardless of how he feels, he should respect your parents wishes. Period. He's 29, but he's sounding like a high school brat. It's not unfortunate that you're living with your parents, it's unfortunate that he can't seem to understand the word respect. If you're able to visit his place and have a relationship with him, he should be more than satisfied with the way things are. Apparently, he isn't.

[cutekid]

It seems like he's madly in love with u,well I do rather say you introduce him 2 your parents as in a casual way,and before that,tell him you really want him 2 visit you at home,but d way things are,its difficult,and also remind him of how much you really love and want him..