Why do most guys hate the "friend zone" so much?

Why do most guys hate the “friend zone” so much? The friend zone means something different to women. It is a good place to be in. Yes, in most cases it does not lead anywhere other than just staying in the friend zone, but that’s not bad.

I found an answer by a female user that I feel I agree with 100%.


“I'm sure there are women that are selfish and want to torment men for their egos (like there are men that drag a girl a long who cares for him) but to a woman, the friend zone isn't a punishment. It's saying that she cares about you even if it's not in a romantic/sexual way.

Women are relationship creatures. We love talking and sharing with our friends and hanging out. When a friend asks us out, we want the friendship to remain the same if we say no. We don't want to lose our friend or best friend over it. From a woman's perspective, when a guy asks you out and you say no to him and you never see him again and he just leaves like hat, it actually hurts you. It tells you that there was nothing good enough in you that he wanted as a friend; he just wanted the physical/sexual part. I have lost several guy friends who asked me out and I said no and it broke my heart when they never talked to me again. Granted I was young, but at the time I didn't understand "I will always be there for you" meant "I would love to always be there for you if this turns romantic/sexual but if this goes to crap or I stay in the friend zone, you will never see me again." So I opened up to those guys thinking they would always be there. It shattered me when they left. As I've gotten older I understand why. I couldn't do that either. But my desire to keep them as friends wasn't cause I was tossing them a bone. It was because I still cared for them as a regular/normal friend. I can't help who I love and don't but I still wanted them in my life because I still care for them and like them as a friend.

I know guys hate hearing this but if a woman is remotely physically attractive she has probably had a fair amount of guys hit on her in her life. And most of them walk away after they do that. But when the friend or best friend hits on you, as a woman, you don't expect him to walk away. Guys at bars leave when you turn them down, not your friend. Your friend is supposed to be there through thick and thin. So, it is heartbreaking when you lose a friend over this.

Women want men to be friends not just lovers. Sometimes it turns into lovers, sometimes not. So sometimes that gets all messed up and most of them really aren't trying to hurt the guy. We are just trying to keep something that is dear to us.”

I LOVED this answer, mainly because I agree with it 100%

I hope after reading this, that guys can understand why we girls like to keep you as platonic non-sexual/romantic friends in the friend zone. We believe that it’s not all about the physical… but it’s about the emotional. Friends are friends. Bottom line..

Most Helpful Guy

  • "We believe that it’s not all about the physical… but it’s about the emotional. Friends are friends. Bottom line.." Well we are more about the physical. We are all about the visual. Don't get me wrong I have many female friends but that is only because most of them I could never date, or if she ever needed to get some, I wouldn't turn her down.

    How would you like it if someone you were interested in, didn't want you but wanted to you to watch them go through a bunch of chicks (who you feel are not worthy) would you still want to be his friend?

    • I see your point. If I have a male friend and say we've been friends for a while (or not) but say I am interested/attracted to him romantically/sexually and decide to ask him out... say I do and he rejects me but says he wants to still stay friends with me. I would totally accept and understand that and would want to stay non-sexual/romantic friends with him. Yes, it wouldn't bother me to see him have a girlfriend and date other girls because I would understand that it was just not meant to be.

    • Show All
    • I understand what you mean now. It's hard for a guy to stay in the "friend zone" after being rejected when asking her out on a date, because you would still have that attraction/interest in her and you can't shake that feeling away. It feels torturous to have that feeling yet know you will never have a chance with her and see her off with other guys. That's what you mean? Well, us girls don't want to torture you guys, we just want to keep you in our lives because we still really care about you.

    • :)