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Why do most guys hate the "friend zone" so much?

Why do most guys hate the “friend zone” so much? The friend zone means something different to women. It is a good place to be in. Yes, in most cases... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • "We believe that it’s not all about the physical… but it’s about the emotional. Friends are friends. Bottom line.." Well we are more about the physical. We are all about the visual. Don't get me wrong I have many female friends but that is only because most of them I could never date, or if she ever needed to get some, I wouldn't turn her down.

    How would you like it if someone you were interested in, didn't want you but wanted to you to watch them go through a bunch of chicks (who you feel are not worthy) would you still want to be his friend?

    • I see your point. If I have a male friend and say we've been friends for a while (or not) but say I am interested/attracted to him romantically/sexually and decide to ask him out... say I do and he rejects me but says he wants to still stay friends with me. I would totally accept and understand that and would want to stay non-sexual/romantic friends with him. Yes, it wouldn't bother me to see him have a girlfriend and date other girls because I would understand that it was just not meant to be.

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    • I understand what you mean now. It's hard for a guy to stay in the "friend zone" after being rejected when asking her out on a date, because you would still have that attraction/interest in her and you can't shake that feeling away. It feels torturous to have that feeling yet know you will never have a chance with her and see her off with other guys. That's what you mean? Well, us girls don't want to torture you guys, we just want to keep you in our lives because we still really care about you.

    • :)

What Guys Said 10

  • Why do girls hate the "friends with benefits or f*** buddy zone" so much? We guys believe it's not all about the emotional . . . but it's about the physical too. Sometimes we find a girl really, really hot and want to just bang her again and again, but we don't want to deal with relationship drama or her emotional issues. Hot sex is hot sex. Bottom line. It should be a complement to how desirable we see the girl as a sex partner.

    Does that sound reasonable? If it does, then I can buy into your arguement on the virtues of the friend zone. These two arrangements are exactly the same.

    • No I totally don't think all girls hate the fb friends with benefits scene. My lady friend and I are kinda in that phase now, because she's going through a divorce and we're on the down low. The catch for us is that we're long distance, but in some ways I guess she's keeping it subconscientiously fair. I want to be there for her emotionally and listen to her, but she's not always talkative. And of course we're not always banging either lol. The point being is that a lot of women don't wanna think about their feelings or problems 24/7 or talk about them. So the fb and probably more so the friends with benefits scene is great for them because they can just escape into their man's world and forget reality for a short time. And I get that! :D So it's a win win. It just takes A LOT of patience and dicipline, but like her and I discussed if it's real we'll keep coming back to each other.

    • There's a lot of confusion for women that guys may not know and its hard for women to explain that to guys when theyre confused themselves.

  • men that hate the friend zone, don't understand the friendship ladder theory that have become synonymous with women, and it's actually their fault for falling into that trap dilemma...all that we ask of you is that you be upfront about it and we won't try anything until you change otherwise, which does happen in some situations

    • I understand what you are saying. Thanks for your input. :)

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    • Not saying that guys don’t have emotions, but biologically girls are more emotional that guys and have a easier time sharing and expressing their emotions than guys do. I think part of it is society and part of it is biology that guys are not as emotional as girls. But I agree with you that society says that they are not “supposed” to feel as much emotion as girls.

    • Therefore girls hug all their girl friends when greeting them, but if guys were to hug all their guy friends when greeting them (which some do a “man” hug), they would be labeled gay (but not all the time). I know. It is just supposedly not the “masculine” thing to do. Yes, I totally see your point girl. Yes, it’s all pressure. Fear of rejection. But then again, rejection is a part of society that I believe is not fun, but just a part of it we have to accept and understand and it helps us be stronger and move on.

  • It's simple. If a man wants you sexually/romantically and you turn him down you're telling him he's not good enough for you. Sure he's good enough as a friend but he doesn't see you that way. He will ALWAYS want to be with you. He wi ALWAYS want tk have sex with you. And there's nothing worse than wanting that, and the girl you want makes you watch her go through other men while he sits and waits for you to either change your mind or let your guarddown. My bbelief is that no man or woman that are both heterosexual can co exist as friends without one of them being sexually attracted to the other. In my experience that has always proven true

  • Being in the "friend zone" to me means that I can try as hard as I'd like, I'd never get you, even tho I have feelings for you and we're extremely close.

    • I understand what you mean. But at least you would still be friends with this girl and care for her too, just like she would still care for you too. I mean, you can't change a girl's mind when she says she's not interested, but if she wants to stay friends, then that's better than nothing. A good friendship is always good, in my opinion. But I understand that it would be hard since you would still have deeper feelings for her and as hard as you want to try, you know you will never have her.

  • For a lot of guys, when they get hurt by getting rejected, they want revenge. As you said, if a woman rejects a guy friend and he drops her as a friend, it hurts her, and that's part of the reason why the guy does it, because it's a quick, simple form of revenge. Also, being around her might remind them too much of her rejecting them.

    • Thanks for your answer. Makes sense. But point is, revenge is a bad thing. In ANY case, that is what I believe at least. The girl is not trying to hurt the guy by rejecting him. He should understand and accept the FACT that she will NOT be interested/attracted to every guy in the world in a sexual/romantic way, and want to date them/have a relationship with them. He should know that that is not realistic and that should make him more understanding and accept that she is not trying to hurt him.

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    • I would understand that were are human and not perfect and forget things from time to time and would totally forgive her for that and accept and appreciate her apology, knowing she wasn’t doing that intentionally by not keeping to her word.

    • I think that it’s great that whenever you get romantic rejection you feel down and hurt but don't have ill feelings toward the girl and want to cause her pain or revenge at her. I think it’s wonderful that you practice forgiveness, and I do too. Yes, I know it's in the bible and it's the example set by Christ. Yes, I agree that there is nothing to forgive for romantic rejection, unless the rejection itself was rude. Exactly, I agree with you on that.

  • I just got the "I can only be friends" card pulled on me. I'll offer you my personal perspective. This girl and I had a fling last year before she moved a 1000 miles away. We kept in touch and I even visited her once. Everytime we were face to face we kissed and did things beyond friendship. There were times where we didn't talk because we probably moved on but she always would pull me back in. We didn't talk for 3 months before her return home. She started reaching out to me and we went on one date the second day she was home. It was great until I went for a kiss...denied. Then she sends me an email saying she can only be my friend. I sent her a reply and basically said I can't be that for her knowing I want more.

    The reason I had to turn down that friendship even though she is someone I care about a great deal and enjoy her company is that I knew I would just be causing myself pain in the future. I didn't want to be there for when she met a new guy.

    Another thing for me was that I felt used. I became someone she contacted when she was upset or down and I was someone that made her feel better. It was hard to accept a situation where I'm this person that she loves to be around, share feelings with and uplifts her but all I get to be is her friend. If our relationship was just that the entire time then fine, but we had crossed those lines and I never lost those feelings for her. I'm a great guy and I want to be that for the right girl but I can't let myself offer up the best of me to someone that won't return that. Its too painful.

    Maybe sometime it has to do with a guy being bitter but I think a lot its because they realize they are in a situation that can only cause them pain.

    • Feels Bro, Those Feels. :/

    • Oh wow, well I'm glad I found a place like this, because you hit the nail on the head. I'm not sure if this is a little more complicated, because that always seems like an objective word to me. I have a lady friend that we reconnected with. We hadn't talked for the past 9 years and she reached out to me, so of course I befriended her again. We had a brief history back then, but now she's going through a divorce. We both have feelings for each other and have both agreed that we want to be friends first. Well I went over there and we spent some time together and of course we were intimate. She's actually coming over to my town for Labor Day. I want to be there for her but there are times where I think I'm just trying too hard when she wants to figure things out for herself. It's real hard to not be pushy or to not be too distant. Somedays it's great and others I feel like she's ignoring me. Right now I'm here because I want to learn on my own about all this craziness.

  • Well lets put it this way, for a girl the guy she friendzoned would go like this:

    Girls point of view: "Oh wow a guy who understands me and likes me for who I am, I can tell we'll be great friends because we have so much in common."

    Guys point of view: "Hmmm, so she doesn't want to be more than just friends? I think there's that spot for me in the seventh circle of hell that I would rather sit in than go through being friendzoned."

    Sorry ladies but this is probably going through 99% of guys brains.

    • Here's my take on this friendzone fb friends with benefits crap. First it feels like a label, and people on both sides really don't like that to start. Secondly none of these scenarios really says 2 way street does it? Someone is getting fucked and it's not with the jelly. With the friendzone the girl gets the rewards because she gets the emotional out of it especially if the guys a great listener. The friends with benefits or fb the guy is getting the most cause honestly how often are you talking about your problems in the middle of horizontalizing? So if you've already been intimate and this happens on either side, the best thing is either both aggreeing to communicate, or just being patient and find a good distraction. And whatever you do, NEVER, NEVER associate this new distraction between you both unless you both want it. Cause if you both DONT want it, you're talkin manipulation, mistrust, betrayal... whole effin can of worms there.

  • I only dislike the friendzone if I like the girl that puts me in it. A few girls have put me in the zone and well the friendship didn't last too much longer afterwards.

  • now explain, fwb? hahahahhahahahah

    • Friends with benefits is a totally different story. They are not in a relationship yet still sexual with each other. I don't support that, but it's a free world and like I said, I respect people who chose friends with benefits. It's just something I would NEVER do.

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    • U too :)

    • Thanks! :)

What Girls Said 1

  • You a fucking liar all you girls want to do is hurt a guys heart and mess with his head and use him so go die in hole girls don't want guys as friends bullshit it's all a trick stop listening ignore them also guys don't want sex all the time were not animals we have hearts when we wanna show it it also hurts when being turned down

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