Best friend (opposite sex) hasn't returned my call in over a week?

Developed a real strong friendship with an old friend recently. Though we used to live in the same city, she and I now live on opposite ends of the country. Both of us went through a difficult breakup recently which allowed us to get closer to one another; kind of a support system I guess. Though she is still in the process of detaching herself from her relationship. Anyways, we would text and talk daily until recently. I went out to her area for an interview and visited her while I was there. It was completely normal and as if we'd never been apart from one another. Business as usual. I tried setting up another get together and she confirmed but it never happened. I was upset at our agreements break and confronted her about it. She said it was a misunderstanding and that we could then rendezvous a few days later. So we planned loosely for two days later. She sent me a text that night saying shed be available soon and I told her to let me know when. Of course, I never heard anything. The next day I called to wish her a happy holiday and acted aloof to yet another let down. She gave me reasons for why we didn't meet without me asking her. I told her no big deal, just calling to wish a happy holiday and said I had to run. The conversation was very light even though it seemed she was a bit tentative at first. Before I hung up she stopped me and told me to call her later if I got bored. Later that night while waiting for my plane I gave her a ring. No answer. I left a short message saying I had a minute and figured Id give her a ring wished her a good night and told her Id catch her later. This was a week ago and I have not heard anything from her since. No text. No call.I understand that people get busy and I have not pressed the issue. I also understand that she is not yet over her current situation and is hurt by it daily. However, this is someone I would talk to almost every day for over two months. Someone who has called me their closest friend on multiple occasions. I am a little confused but more importantly curious if at this point I should make it a waiting game or if I should try her again again?

 

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  • Hey there. This is tough. She is definitely sending you mixed signals which isn't making it any easier for you. It sounds to me like she is confused herself. Unfortunately things are even more complicated with the extra layer of electronic communications - texts and emails can often be misleading or misconstrued. It's easy to be more flirtatious or bolder than you necessarily feel or mean behind the safety of a phone or computer. To be honest, it's possible you were a comfort to her from afar but when face to face she got the vibe that you are interested in being more than friends, and she either wasn't interested or was confused herself about how she feels about you. Are you still going to live across the country from each other? If so, I would say don't push the situation and risk losing a good friend. Either way, I would put the ball in her court. Try something like, "hey, I know you've got a lot going on, but know that I'm always here for you" Something like that is simultaneously sweet and taking a step backwards, and acknowledging that she needs to figure out what her deal is. It gives her the space she needs, while still expressing concern for her. Good luck!

    • Hey, to answer your question, no I'm not going to be across the country. I am relocating back soon.she may have felt some vibe that I'm looking for more but honestly I just enjoy her for her. but yeah, I sent a similar message before reading your suggestion and she was responsive but only up until a point. she seems to withdraw once any traction starts to develop. I guess there's a little selfishness on my end where I just want things to be alright. but well see where this goes. thanks!

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