My best friend told me today that he has feelings for me.
This morning I woke up with this text "I can't sleep, because the truth is, I can't stop thinking about you. you mean so much to me, I guess what I want to say is I have feelings for you. I know it sounds weird written out. anyways I just miss you so much. tell me if I am crazy."
I have been have had homeroom with this boy since freshman year of high school and have been best friends with him since sophomore year, We are going to different colleges that are on opposite sides of the USA. I am seeing him tomorrow after our longest separation of 5 months. I would be lying if I said haven't had thoughts of us together, and the distance has increased these thoughts. We say "i love you" to each other all the time but I think we are both are confused about what we actually mean. I know I love him but I am not sure if it is more than brotherly love. I deeply afraid of losing him, and if we tried something and it doesn't work out I am not sure if I can handle not having him as a friend.
Have any of you guys dated an old friend? How did it work out?
If you guys broke up, how did you guys handle it afterwords?
Should we try to date even though the huge distance?
I am extremely confused and like some advice.
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
I know that friendships are very valuable and nobody wants to risk threatening one by making into something other than we are already comfortable with. But you need to ask yourself a couple of questions. First, don't you want to have a long-term, maybe even lifelong, relationship with someone you would think of as your best friend? This doesn't happen by accident. You have to be compatible as friends before a relationship for this to ever have a chance of being true. Second, friendships always wane as time goes on. It is inevitable. Every girl that I ever had feelings for but did not pursue because I didn't want to threaten the great friendship we had is now not even an acquaintance. Wouldn't it be better to take a chance and find out if something could be the best romance ever rather than protect it and watch it drift away anyway. Take the chance. He knows everything about you anyway, so he is not going to wake up one morning and go running for the hills when he discovers your annoying habits (he could probably list them off now at any time you asked him). Trust me, there is probably less fear to be had in dating a great friend than kissing a bunch of frogs, never finding a prince and winding up with a bunch of bad relationship woes (or warts).
What Guys Said 1
What Girls Said 4
I dated my best friend. We were crazy about each other. We went long distance, but when I went back to visit him, he had fallen in love with someone else. I was hurt, obviously, but you can't help who you fall for. We're still very close and it hasn't ruined our friendship at all. Long distance is difficult sometimes, but the precious time that you do get to spend together is even more special. Completely worth it, if you really love someone. And it's not as though it'll be long distance forever, if things do work out. Honestly, if you're best friends, unless someone does something horrible to the other, nothing will change that, regardless of whether or not you fall out of love. I say take a chance, give it a try, and if things don't work out, at least you know that you have an amazing friend who cares really deeply for you :) And you'll never be left wondering "what if..."