Girlfriend doesn't wear jewelery you bought for her?

[conscience]

So I got my girlfriend a necklace over Christmas and she really liked it. That was the last time I saw her wearing it. Let me just say that I'm probably overreacting but I just want to know what others think.

Just yesterday I was over at a friends house with her and she was wearing some other necklace, I was going to ask her what happened about the necklace I gave her but she had her friends over as well, I didn't want to make her feel bad so I waited till I got home then texted her. She replied saying she still had it, she just had a lot of other necklaces. I didn't want to be a b*tch so I let go of the issue and changed the subject.

The thing is, I wanted to tell her I was hurt if she just treats the necklace I spent the time to get for her as any other piece of jewelery she has. I don't care if she doesn't wear it all the time but I would like it if she at least wore it when she was with me to show our relationship meant something.

I thought something your boyfriend/girlfriend got for you would be somewhat special...what do you guys think?

[JaniyaRose]

It's actually hard to give an answer to this, as it can actually mean different things. My advice to you is to ask her honestly, and promise to not be mad at your response. Because I'm guessing she probably just doesn't like the necklace you gave. Yes, presents from your SO should be special and mean something. But she's also an individual, and has her own identity. Perhaps for her birthday (or next big occasion) take her jewellery shopping with you. That way she can pick out exactly what she wants and it will be special because it'll be attached to a memory of you spending time together. And it will also give you the opportunity to learn more about her and what she likes.

I've been on the receiving end of awkward necklace gifts before. My first boyfriend gave me a necklace and it annoyed me so much because it showed that he knew nothing about me. I'm a big jewellery person, and it's the main way that I like to express myself. I have over 20 costume necklaces which I alternate through with different outfits. He wanted me to wear his necklace, and only his necklace. So to give up a big part of how I express myself, to wear a piece of jewellery which to him labelled me as "his". And it wasn't anything close to what I usually wear. It was a small tear drop necklace which I happen to know he got because it was on sale for $9 (I work near the jewellery store that had that special). It didn't show that he cared about me. It showed that he cared more about me being "his" than he cared about my own interests.

You obviously put a lot more care into your gift than my ex did into his, and this necklace matters to you. But you shouldn't need to "brand" your girlfriend. If she's not the type to wear the same necklace every day, then you didn't think this necklace idea through if that's what you expect her to do. A bracelet or a ring might be a better idea. A token from you that she can wear all the time, but that doesn't interfere with how she likes to dress.

[curiouschica]

Hmmm I at first thought maybe she lost it accidentally. Is the necklace something you can wear with anything? Maybe it's hard to match. Or maybe she has so many pieces of jewelry...I wouldn't be too bothered by it. As long as she still cares for you and makes it evident through the interaction that y'all have, don't focus so much on the jewelry. =p

[conscience]

Yeah, it's just a simple, small and silver necklace. True, material possessions aren't everything, I'll see how it goes, thanks for the advice!

[Butterfly_kisses09]

That's weird. I wear the necklace my boyfriend gave me every single day. Even if I don't see him every day. Maybe just tell her it hurt your feelings. If she gets mad or something then she's being a b*tch. I mean, the necklace my boyfriend gave me is more special and better than my other ones just because he gave it to me. But you just have to tell her how it makes you feel.

[conscience]

Yeah I should tell her but I don't want her to feel she has to wear it just because I got annoyed she wasn't wearing it :/ Thanks for the advice though!

[ilyurbella]

It seems kind of odd. I mean, my boyfriend gave me a necklace for our first Christmas together, and I wear it every day for over 3 years now. I rarely ever take it off, but when I do, I always put on a different necklace he got me out of the blues one day to say that I was special to him. I don't understand why she wouldn't wear it once in a while. Maybe you should tell her how you feel.

[conscience]

Yeah, I'm going out with her today and see if she wears it, if she doesn't then I'll tell her how I feel. Thanks for the advice!

[Anonymous]

yeah I think its f***ed up I never take of the necklace my boyfriend gave me. and I agree you got to just straight up tell her.

[conscience]

Mmm yeah, I guess so...i mean I wear the bracelet she made for me on Christmas, and I haven't taken it off since.