Why do people want to be friends with their ex's after they dump them?

I'm sure people have heard this before, but it's just confusing to me. I've been dumped and the women that have broken up with me say how I'm such I great guy and that they don't want me out of their life. I know they've lost interest in me, but they've really hurt my feeling by dumping me, so why would I still want to be friends with them (Its not like we were great friends before we started dating)?

My most recent ex wanted to still be friends with me, but just didn't want to be with me anymore. I just don't get why people want to be friends with someone that they have just crushed, and even worse is when the women that dumped me get mad because I don't want to talk to them after they've dumped me (especially when I take them off things like Facebook). What is the reason for all of this? Any opinions would help a lot.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I guess if you had the experience where you were great friends with the woman before dating, you could understand that after breaking up, she would not want to lose that friendship (at the very least). But other than that, I do understand what you mean - I have tried to stay friends with exes after the break-up, but there's just too many hurt feelings. I learned the hard way that it's a slap in the face to say that you still want to stay friends with the individual, after breaking their heart. In all honesty though, whatever the reason is for the woman not wanting a relationship anymore, she really does want you still in her life. It's definitely selfish, but after spending months (or years) of time with one individual, she completely becomes attached and wants them to stay in her life - relationship or no relationship. It's your right to tell your ex that it's way too soon to start considering her as a friend, that you first need time alone, without her in your life in any way - then maybe down the line (maybe!) you two could try being friends.

    • Thanks!