My best guy friend has replaced me...what to do?

[aksexton]

Stuff you need to know first:

Im female. The friend is male. We've been friends since birth, his dad and mine are best friends and we've grown up together. He goes to a military college and has Wed. nights, friday nights, saturdays and sundays available.

My best guy friend/best friend in general started dating this girl two years ago, whom he says he loves. At first when they hung out all the time and he sorta put me on the back burner I was fine with it, honeymoon phase and what not. As the relationship continues it seems I keep getting put farther and farther on his to-do list. I am not a huge fan of the girlfriend, and its mostly because she bitches if she is not with him 23hrs of his available day, but I am cordial with when we are together and I have tried to befriend her, but she sees me as a threat. We have always had a great friendship, and we've never argued and we even say we love each other. lately he tries to reconcile the situation with a pity date or has excuses on why we don't hang out as much, and usually I would take them.but its gotten to the point where its unbelievable and most have been proven wrong. I want my best friend back, but I don't want to be the bitch who gives him an ultimatum. I just don't understand if he can make time for her ALL the time, why can't he make I don't know one day every two weeks or month with me. I just don't know what to do.any advice would be helpful.

[Simple-Simonette]

It sucks to see our friends drift away when they are in a relationship.

Though I can understand how his girlfriend feels, it doesn't make it any easier for you to deal with. She probably wants to be the only woman in his life - and is convincing your friend to feel the same. What can you do about it except explain to him how you feel? It isn't easy for women to allow their men relationships with the opposite sex - I myself had a huge problem with it. It's irrational and unfair - but it's also a reality, especially if you are very close to him. You can accept that he is not going to be there for you as a friend while he is with her and move on or you can be patient and hope that one day he will realize that you need him to be the friend he was in the past. Either way - it's going to be a waiting game.

I wonder - do you have a boyfriend yourself? If you do, it should be less threatening to her.

It is really sad that insecurity makes people so hurtful - but it's hard to allow someone to love the one you're in love with.

[ladygothicka]

Maybe he's so blinded by her that he's forgotten all about you. Or maybe his girlfriend is putting pressure on him not to see you because she thinks you're a threat. Either way, you're not happy and you need to sort it. Talk to him - ring him sometime and tell him how you feel. Maybe he hasn't realised how much it's getting to you and he thinks you're fine. If you let him know he might realise how upset you are.

Most times that friends drift away it's because we don't tell them how we feel until it's too late. One of my mates drifted off and I didn't tell him how sad I was about him shutting me out until it was way too late.

Just tell him how you feel.

[Anonymous]

I think it happens often that people who are in serious relationships get so caught up in their boyfriend/girlfriend lives that they forget about or abandon their friends.You used to be the only woman in his life and now he has another woman he's very close with. If he loves you as a friend he would still hang out with you. I think you should tell him exactly how you feel but leave out the girlfriend info just discuss you two's relationship

[glowboy]

I would talk to him about it. Not full on but be like hey we never get to hang anymore and I really miss you what’s going on. If things don’t get better then tell him to either make time or you going to move on. Sometimes that’s best sadly. People just drift apart. Also are you seeing anyone at this time. It may help the situation if you had a boyfriend. His girl wouldn’t see you as a threat and you would have someone else to spend time with too.