Was I wrong for telling my sister she disrespected me when she had sex with him?

[Anonymous]

This is really long but if you could take the time to read it and help me out I would appreciate it.

My sister's boyfriend is our cousin (yes, that is completely disgusting but I'm sure some people won't find anything wrong with it). Anyway, she told my parents a while back and they don't agree with it and everything fell apart. My parents no longer think she is dating my cousin but she is and I have been covering with her for all these months, and I hate myself for that. But apparently he treats her so well and he's a good guy (they are both good people) which is why she wants to stay with him because she says they aren't many good guys left anymore. I'm still uncomfortable with it though and I feel like I've lost my best friend.

Anyway, today he came round when my parents were at work and I was going out shortly afterward so I told them I went to jump in the shower. But I didn't jump in the shower immediately because I was waiting for a film to download on my laptop. afterward when I went up to my room they were having sex and it was loud. I could hear them moaning and the bed squeaking and bouncing and everything. I already knew they've been having sex but I never would have thought they would have sex in our house when I was there. They know I'm really uncomfortable with their relationship already, and them having sex while I was at home just pushed me over the edge. They went too far. Especially after I have been covering for them all this time. It's like they are taking advantage of my good nature and support. There's certain boundaries you don't cross. I could easily tell my parents but I haven't because it would destroy their happiness.

Before I left the house I said to my cousin "You could of at least waited until I left to strt doing what you were doing!". He replied by saying "W-w-w-what do you mean?" and I replied "Don't give me that S***!" and he just laughed nervously and I walked out the house.

When I came back my sister confronted me and said "You didn't have to say that to him!" and I said "You should have waited for me to leave the house before you have sex with him! You already know how uncomfortable I am with you and him being together!". She then said in the harshest tone "I don't have to wait until you leave the house! God, you're acting like you don't know what couples do in relationships". To which I replied "I know perfectly well what couples do. This isn't about you 2 being a couple. This is about being disrespectful towards me by having sex with him when I am still in the house. I have covered for you for such a long time and you end up not giving a f*** and taking advantage of the situation!". And then just walked away.

What do you think? Am I in the wrong here?

[Stacyzee]

You are totally not in the wrong in.

Despite if your sister was dating her own flesh and blood or not, I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear her having sex with any one. I don't know about you, but thinking of how my sibling would sound during intimacy would absolutely turn my stomach.

To me it sounds like your sister is not grateful of you having her back and helping her hide her secret. She is clearly taking your for granted. Someone who is appreciative would be very apologetic to the person they feel is protecting them.

Let her know,

that this is the last time you want that to ever happen again.

If she continues to be disrespectful to you,

then simply let her know you are no longer keeping her secret.

You are not threating her,

its just the case of why have someones best interest at heart, if they can't even show you some respect?

[Asker]

Yeah exactly. My sister having sex with any guy while I'm in the house is something I don't wanna see or hear as it is. But if the dude is my cousin then that's so much worse. She's hard headed. She seem to think if she sticks at the relationship long enough then my parents might finally change their mind. Sometimes she can be really selfish and downright disrespectful! If she continues behaving like this then she does not deserve my protection.

[Stacyzee]

Thats correct.

Im not saying go out and stitch on her. But if your parents do ask, then simply tell the truth (if she continues this behavior.). She needs to stop acting as if she is entitled to everything. <3 good luck

[Asker]

Thank you :)

[Freetobe007]

Ewww that's so nasty. Stop covering for her. Your nieces and nephews are going to be terribly deformed! :P That's really disgusting. You need to tell your parents. They can find happiness elsewhere. Sorry but what your sister is doing is nasty. That's really gross. How old is she? Regardless of what couples do, it's extremely disrespectful for her to be screwing her cousin, someone her parents have made clear they disapprove of her being with, in a home that is not hers. If she's not paying bills there, if she didn't pay for that bed and those sheets, then that is incredibly disrespectful.

You're not in the wrong. Your sister sounds like an idiot who's being disrespectful. It needs to stop

[Asker]

she's 25. she's thinking about marriage and stuff now as it is so her being with my cousin is just gonna slow things down for her and waste her time.

[Freetobe007]

even if she's 25, she's living at your parent's home, right? Is she paying bills there? maybe it's just me but I find it disrespectful to be screwing someone in your parent's home especially if they don't like the person. Tell her to have some self control. She seriously needs a harsh reality check. She's lucky I'm not her brother :P lol

[Asker]

Lol. Well I know who to contact if I'm in trouble then ;)

[Freetobe007]

you sure do! lol

[sunshine1991]

Well, I understand why you said what you said. Your situation sounds very stressful, and it does sound like she is taking advantage. I mean, she is perfectly happy with her decision while you're stressed about covering up for her. She has it pretty good, if you ask me. Maybe you should think about letting her take responsibility for her own actions and let her face the consequences instead of covering for her all the time. No wonder you're so uncomfortable and stressed. She will probably be angry, but it would take the burden off your shoulders and put it where it belongs----on her and her boyfriend.

[Asker]

She's hard-headed. She already knows my parents are never going to agree with this relationship yet she doesn't want to break it off. She thinks hopefully in time my parents will come around to it. Argh, so stressful! I'm in such a dilemma!

[dtaijo174]

It was disrespectful of them. Stop covering for them. Don't go tell your parents, but just stop covering for them.

[bunnahies]

i wouldve just walked in the room while they were having sex and take a quick picture. because that's how I would feel...AWKWARD, like why the f*** would you do that? I'm your sister!

you were right though...shouldve done more :/ tell parents! this can't last forever w.o them knowing :o

[Asker]

My parents already knew they were having sex but my sister told my mum that she is not seeing him anymore. She's even snuck him into her bedroom when my dad was at home. She really crosses the boundaries sometimes and I'm left feeling guilty because I don't tell my mum what's really going on. But at the same time, telling my mum the truth will seriously hurt her and I don't want my mum becoming upset and stressed out.

[bunnahies]

mom would find out sooner or later -.-

you all gotta get over it and tell her now...how much longer are you gonna cover her up and let her sneak him into the house while people are home, just to have sex :/

either way...they both gonna be upset with you. that you told mom and that you kept it from mom this whole time. they should deal with this. you don't need to be in btwn this! you're stressing out more than they are!

[Anonymous]

I would have done the same...

[Asker]

The same as me or the same as my sister?

[Opinion Owner]

Sme as you, that's pretty disrespectful and kinda sick that she screwed her cousin...

[msdior]

You are so not wrong