Are there any guys who don't want kids?

[TheBedroomDiary]

I don't want children now, in the future, ever!

However, it is very hard to run across guys who don't want them either.

Are their guys who don't want kids either? Why?

It is making dating harder and harder.

[madmisskelly]

I view a lot of the people who say they don't want kids like the people who say they will never get married. Many of those people get married and they never thought they would. Many people who thought they would never have kids end up having kids that they love and it just works.

My point here is that you are young. This is important to you right now, and it very well may stay important to you forever and it may not.

You're young and your opinions are going to change and your situation is going to change. You may always feel like a kid just won't fit into your life and that is just fine and understandable.

However, you may get to a point when you've been married for a while and you've settled down and you may begin to wonder what else there is- that's a point where many people consider kids.

My overall advice is that until you are dating around to find your husband (I hope you aren't because 21 is too damn young to get married), keep the 'no children" thing as a silent goal; It really isn't something to bring up on a first date or anything really in the beginning. For now have fun and don't stress about finding someone who doesn't want kids. They are out there but I think you are either going to need to look at older guys or you are going to need to wait for guys to mature and age a bit to decide where they want their lives to go.

[TheBedroomDiary]

Wow, that is VERY GOOD! I have never thought of it that way.

[aliciaxx]

You realize that people change their values as time goes on, right? And that the people who have the same values as a teenager/ person in their 20's need to grow up, because only a man-child would want to be with a woman-child. But hey, if that's how you want to live, who am I to judge?

To answer your question, there are tons of man-childs roaming around. Look for the guy in his late 20's/ early 30's hanging out in clubs wearing Abercrombie and Fitch hitting on the 18 year olds. He probably doesn't have a career, unless you count being a trust fund baby, working for your father, or here-and-there construction jobs being a career.

[Lights]

Theres are men who feel the same don't worry but what your reason for not wanting kids if I may ask ?

I felt the same way before as well, but to not even consider seeing/dating a guy that does seems kind of crazy to me especially at your age.

as you grow older you might change your mind.

[TheBedroomDiary]

Why, hmm . . . I just don't want the life-long responsibility.

[Anonymous]

You could change your mind when you're older, but if not then no big deal. Are there guys who won't want kids? Yeah, a lot of guys don't want kids just like I know a lot of guys who do want kids. Most guys that don't want kids also don't want to be in a serious relationship either. Some do, though. Typically, girls who don't want kids tend to be career oriented. Guys are typically career oriented anyways, but the ones that don't want kids tend to be really high up there in their careers. This is not to say that guys who are high up there in their careers financially are guys that don't want kids, but guys that don't want kids tend to be high up there. This is all generally speaking... so of course there are guys and girls on the opposite ends that I mentioned... but for the most part that's how it is, or how I have at least noticed it to be.

At your age, guys who don't want kids are going to be focused solely on their career that they don't want to be in a relationship. So, I can see how it will make dating harder and harder.

[TheBedroomDiary]

Wow, that is a very good response! Do you want kids?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't want kids right now, but maybe sometime in the future. Part of me wants to have kids, another part of me would actually be perfectly okay with no kids and no girlfriend and still be happy in life just living it.

[dudeman]

actually statistically never married men with no kids hold less powerful positions then married men with kids

[Opinion Owner]

Well, when I was talking about being up there in power I was talking about men with no kids, and not specifying whether or not they were married. As well, I mentioned that guys that don't want kids tend to be high up there, and that is not to mistake it with me saying that most guys that don't want kids hold more powerful positions than guys with kids.

In other words, if there were 100 powerful positions and 80 guys for both wanting and not wanting kids, 55 of the guys that hold (cont)

[Opinion Owner]

powerful positions wanted kids, and the other 45 of the guys that hold powerful positions don't want kids. Then 45 out of the 80 guys that don't want kids hold powerful positions, therefore, guys who don't want kids tend to be high up there. And by guys who tend to be up there, I mean most guys, which equates to greater than 50%.

This is also based off of my observation, and not a cold hard fact... well it might be a cold hard fact, but I don't have the proof to back up this claim.

[kairon156]

you just filled nearly every point of view for humanity and wanting/not wanting kids. I do see your point though. she was just asking if anyone specifically didn't want children.

[WhiteSteve]

i DEFINITELY don't want kids. the happiest people I know in life are gay men...no kids, no parental responsibilities, just disposable income for living the good life. those dudes have the game figured out.

it's not to say I don't have SOME paternal instinct, but it's only the "throw the ball around in the back yard" part. so my plan for that is coaching youth football. BORROW other people's kids three or four days a week for two hours, do the fun sh*t, then send them home and YOU can pay for them, YOU can deal with the incessant questions, YOU can get woken up at 6:30 on your days off...i'm all set with that stuff. I saw one of those "someEcards" things that summed this up perfectly: "every time I see a cute child, I remind myself how awesome it is to sleep through the night."

[Joshbgosh]

"BORROW other people's kids three or four days a week for two hours, do the fun sh*t, then send them home"...I'm really glad I kept reading on.

[WhiteSteve]

hahaha, WHOA...didn't say I wanted to coach at penn state!

[Joshbgosh]

but you didn't not say you wanted to coach at penn state.

lol

[WhiteSteve]

hahaha, well, you've got me there. interesting side note, I actually own a instructional video series for football coaches, and guess who hosts the linebackers video? and guess who the only coach in the entire series is that uses kids to demonstrate the drills instead of former college players? and of course, I believe it's "victim #4" who's one of the kids. it USED to be a very informative and educational video, now I almost feel like I should destroy it. sick f*ck!

[Joshbgosh]

lol Wow, that's f***ed up.

It would be pretty messed up if he was like, "Ok, I know this is about football, but wrestling is a great way to start off any excercise. Hey Billy! Get over here! Now folks, this is what I call a pin. Usually, it's OK if the shoulders both touch the mat at the same time, but I like to keep them there for a little longer..."

In all seriousness, that guy is a degenerate piece of sh*t.

[LilMafia]

i agree whole-hearted. I serious don't want kids, but I will enjoy laughing at the parents with kids that don't sleep through the night.

[Arwens-Fire]

WhiteSteve:Great Answer!

I don't understand people needing to feel "complete" by having children.Children are lifelong stressful,expensive responsibilities.I have never even had a pet!Thats how much I just want to be responsible for myself and NOTHING else. Some women my age already have children and baby-daddy-drama,meanwhile,i am children free,debt free and in general FREE to do and go where I want.Why would I want to trade that n?

[Kain6th]

Very immature LilMafia

[TheBedroomDiary]

You too!? Man, you are making my LIFE! I am sooooooo happy right now!

[WhiteSteve]

oh yeah, I wouldn't sweat it at all. honestly, I was a little surprised by the question. I felt like it was WOMEN who invariably want children, and it was us guys who would struggle to find a like-minded woman. kids are all well and good, just not for me. I'm more of a "cool uncle" type than dad-material, haha. I'd just want to color and play with blocks WITH them, haha. so I'm probably doing the would-be kid a favor by not being a parent too, hahaha.

[TheBedroomDiary]

I would rather be an aunt. Awesome, there is nothing like being able to send them home, LEGALLY! Lol

[natureboy44]

looool,saving that saying immediately,disturb my sleep at your peril,baby or not

[MrOracle]

Where have you been all my life?

I've broken up with, or have been broken up with by women for the same reason. I'm not completely and totally against the idea, but so many people have NO IDEA what it means to have kids, and only have a romantic idea of little babies, without a clue about the day-to-day realities.

And let's face it: there are WAY too many kids out there already who don't have a home and a family. When the adoption agencies and foster-care systems are drained, THEN we can make more. Until then, it's just PRACTICE.

[TheBedroomDiary]

Ahhhhh! Where have YOU been all my life? You ROCK!

[aMuse]

Guys who don't want kids many times don't want wives either. =P I know some, but they are generally disillusioned with women to begin with and are not interested in dating and moving things towards a relationship. They just want to casually hook up with younger women here and there.

[lananoel]

Yea I can agree to this.

[confusedgirl239]

This is a thought through logical answer. I like it.

[aMuse]

Eh, that's the advantage of age. People assume you are thinking things through, when the reality is you've just been around for longer and seen things. =P

[yopyopyop]

This isn't true. You can raise the argument that very often, a kid is thought to be the bond strengthener that is starting to dissolve after a while. And of course, this fails very often.

[cavmanier]

In my case its not true. Most the guys I know around 30 like to get girls in their early 20s and those are the guys that want to be married with kids when they are 40. I've always been in LT relationships with women my age and have 0 interest in children.

[aMuse]

Thus the "many times" not "all the time"... =P

[Arwens-Fire]

I agree with yopyopyop. People are having children or the silliest of reasons.Strengthening a bond?If your bond is strong enough,then have kids.If not...then don't...because that child will soon enough have divorced parents.

[aMuse]

I think you are missing the point. Those guys are open to having kids with the right girl. Some guys flat out never want kids. The ones I know, fit what I said above.

[kairon156]

I don't want kids ever. I can't stand them. from what I know they are so much work and little reward for the effort. I like quiet time and I understand children are only quiet while sleeping and getting some kids to go to sleep can be a battle (seen how hard it can be in person)

I don't date because I know I'm not currently dating material. unemployed and living at home as a result.

[TheBedroomDiary]

Yes! I am so filled with hope to hear that. I'm not knocking those who want kids, I am just saddened at how hard it is for those at the other end of the spectrum (me).

Guys like you are a sight for soar eyes.

[kairon156]

glad to cheer you up. I also don't want dogs but that's a topic for a different question. cat's and fish are fine though.

[cavmanier]

I don't want children either. They're expensive, tons of work and you have to take a backseat to them for 18 years. If I were dating right now I wouldn't want to get serious with a girl that really wanted children either but if she was literally the perfect girl for me and she wanted one or 2 I might compromise lol. She would have to have a decent job though! I might change my mind in 5 years or so but I kinda doubt it. Its hard to predict the future about some things.

[TheBedroomDiary]

Yes! You too!? *Does moonwalk*

[TheBedroomDiary]

I understand. Cats are cool. They have such class. Lol

[bellybuttonlint]

I wanted kids before...but I realize how much of a burden they are and how over-populated this planet is. Besides, I'm not emotionally ready for them and I like my freedom a lot.

People don't truly realize the responsibility...financially and emotionally until they bitch and complain about how hard their life is...even when they fail to see that they chose to bring life into the world.

So I don't want any kids.

[TheBedroomDiary]

Yes, freedom, sounds a lot more appealing to me too. lol

[IdontWantToBeMe]

lol I'm with you on this one, I don't want kids either and every time you tell a guy that they look at you like you killed a kitten.

i've only met one guy in my life that didn't want kids and that's my boyfriend so thank god for that.

good luck though

[snowboarder720]

I want a son. Because I'm the last guy in my family. If I die, my family name dies too. So if I have a son he'll be carrying the family name and hopefully keep it. ya know?

[TheBedroomDiary]

Yeah, that is a good point too.

[Arwens-Fire]

I don't want children either. I enjoy living a free life! I don't believe I need to have children to validate my existence as a woman, or my life or because society deems "children making" as a job that every woman must fulfill.

[MrReal]

You're kidding right? Half the world is populated by guys who want no responsibility or any sort of commitment towards their own offspring, they're everywhere.

[Bombshell13]

But those aren't the guys a girl wants to marry. There's a difference between responsible and adult but not wanting kids and being a guy who is immature and irresponsible, probably unsupportive and ready to dump you if you do get knocked up.

[MrOracle]

Actually, those are the guys that a LOT of girls want to marry; they just are too blinded by "love" to see the reality of the situation.

[MrReal]

I see no difference. Both responsible and irresponsible men who don't want children would probably leave the relationship if they found out they were expecting children. Why commit to a child you don't want? Being a legally responsible man can't make you want something you don't want or stay when you don't want to, it just makes you financially accountable. Don't worry though not all guys are like that, just aim for guys that are daddy material.

[dudeman]

guys that don't want kids typically don't want committed relationships either not in the to death do us part sort of way more of the till I get bored with her sort of way, with that being said I want four kids

[6Paul11]

Not true. I don't want kids, and I'm perfectly fine with a long term, life long relationship. MAYBE years down the line, I'll be open to kids, but not in the near future.

[IdontWantToBeMe]

not true at all, not wanting the burden of raising a child has nothing to do with how committed you are in a relationship

[cavmanier]

I've been in a 7 year relationship and don't want kids, I'm rarely single

[dudeman]

is seven years forever, is rarely being single a good thing or is that serial monogamy, thanks for proving my point

[dudeman]

so if a girl got with you, then after she's seven years older and has far less option in the dating scene that's not exactly a good investment of time on her behalf but you know what do I know I only see things for what they are

[Konnour]

I don't want kids right now and won't gonna want them for some time that's for sure!

However - someday, most likely soon after I'll be 25 marriage and kids are in my priorities.

[ilovenastygals]

as of now even I don't want kids...but I don't know with time I may change my opinion...i don't know...

[TheBedroomDiary]

Hmm . . . that is a good point.

[ilovenastygals]

it happens with many people that today they may not want kids but after a certain age their minds change...so you never know...

[DeepBlue]

Find a man who is sterile. Problem solved. Unless he still wants to adopt I guess.

[TheBedroomDiary]

Hmmm. . . that is a good point.

[AndyWes]

Are you serious? It's *very* hard to run across guys who don't want kids?

Am I *that* alone in my opinion that kids aren't a good idea?

[moloz]

I'm more concerned about the reason why you don't want kids, than the actual decision itself.

[cavmanier]

Cause its a lot of money, a lot of work and you have to give up most of your life. Yes there are good things about having kids but a lot of why people have them imo is because your suppose to. We are one of the first generations were we can actually choose to not have them due to birth control. Someone 50 years older than you wouldn't have thought twice because there was no real alternative (people aren't going to not have sex)

[Anonymous]

I will probably have kids, even though I don't particularly want to in the foreseeable future... I'd prefer to be rich enough first so I that my wife can take care of them instead of working and I won't have to do any work in raising them.

[ChildfreeJoenyc]

Honestly, I can't stand being around children I find them annoying, obnoxious, loud, expensive and quite frankly I just see them as a burden.

[6Paul11]

No kids for me please.

[dudeman]

i said typically but munch

[dudeman]

you being an exception does not mean anything towards my comment

[TheBedroomDiary]

Yes, with a side of happiness . . . lol!

[crazybastard]

you sound selfish as f***

[bellybuttonlint]

Same for you.

[IdontWantToBeMe]

that's such a misconception, it's so uninformed men say that often to women who don't want kids and it's simply not true.

wanting children or not has nothing to with being selfish, wanting children are usually based on selfish reasons

[cavmanier]

makes no sense. Donate your other kidney? Give 1/2 your paycheck to charity? Drive a crappy car so you can feed homeless? Is that the logic? People have kids because they think they will miss out on something not because they are generous.

[IdontWantToBeMe]

exactly

[justjumpit4]

Haha sammmme here. I don't want kids.