How do you NOT friend zone a guy?

He likes me, I know this. But he insists on pretending to want to be my friend, while still flirting and trying to "sweep me off my feet". I don't like him, I most likely never will. What the hell do I do?

He is kind and nice, but I don't respect him as a man, hence I can't be attracted to him.

Now I think he is a good person, I don't hate him for his behavior, but I don't want to accept his friendship knowing he likes me. I know he wouldn't think of me as a friend if he wasn't interested in me.

I can't tell him to stop talking to me. I can't reject UNSPOKEN feelings. What do I do to spare his time and feelings? If it best just to avoid him now?

We go to college together. Same dorms, same library, similar classes.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You can still be nice to him, while "rejecting" him. People are human and have feelings. He obviously likes you. If he tries to talk to you, keep it short and say you have to go, or make sure to have other people in the conversation, and then you slowly walk away. There's plenty of things you can do to friendly avoid a person. Good luck.

    • Thanks.. I guess I already tried it today. Will see how it turns out. ^^

    • Worked.

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What Guys Said 16

  • When you see him coming, start a conversation with the person next to you. If you do this several times, he'll stop approaching and will get the hint that you're not excited about talking to him.

    Try to talk to any nearby guys to keep him from starting a conversation with you. I know this works on me!

  • Keep your distance, cold shoulder, ignore him, etc. Eventually he'll get the hint...No matter what you do, feelings will still be hurt.

    "but I don't respect him as a man" why is that?

    • Because he doesn't make me earn HIS respect. He fawns over me and follows me around without ever questioning if I am a good person. He wastes words and time on superficial compliments and worry over a person who never did anything for him. He always does his best to make sure I get my way, while I expect a man to lead, not cater to the choices I didn't even make yet. He tries so hard to make me like him while having no mind of his own, while pretending and lying to me about wanting to be my

    • friend. I have friends and what he is doing is not a friendship but someone trying to be a puppy. A man should know what he wants. Go get it. Be upfront and unapologetic about it. And above all he should stop looking at me as if I am a guy. I don't care how his hair looks, or how big his muscles are.

  • You don't respect him and aren't attracted to him. He is still being a friend to you. Tell him you like him as a friend, but it won't go any farther. Let him decide if he wants to be in the friend zone.

    • But that's just it. It is not his choice. I am not giving him that choice. Friendzone =/= Friendship

      I don't want it. But he has done nothing but nice things for me and I don't want to hurt him either. That's why I asked this Q.

    • Well, if you don't want his friendship, all that's left is to tell him that you're sorry and it's not going to work between you. If he pushes, you can just say you're not comfortable being friends and knowing that he wants more.

  • well in that case you've already mentally friend zoned him. If I were you I would avoid one-on-one situations with him.

  • well the poor guy is under the impression that doing everything for you will earn your respect as a nice man... of course you girls don't beleive they exist so of course you won't respect him as a man. Its good youve realized it though most girls don't lol

    yeh ignore him and break all contact its better than trying to be mates with him, cause a guy who wants to be nice will just accept the attention as romantic or special to him etc. it will do him better in the long run

    • That's not true! It is not that I do not believe there are nice men out there, and his treatment of me is making me reject him, because I'm afraid of being lied to. That's completely of the mark.

      It's simple. He is not leading, dominant, aggressive (initiative), decisive, confident, and above all self respectful. If you are willing to jump mountains for a girl you barely know, it means you deem her good enough for you. And if you don't know her, you're standards are either low, or you suck. =/

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    • yeh but doesn't hold much truth, there's too many ugly guys with good looking girls or vica versa around for me to accept it

    • I can explain that too. Actually I did. To other guys. Scroll down.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Tell me bout it. I know exactly how you are feeling. My friend has liked me for ages, even while I was in a relationship. Now my relationship ended, he's playing the comforting friend role and tried to kiss me the other night, like 4 days after my break up! I was so pissed off he would do that, plus I just can't see myself liking him even though he is a good friend. I think the best thing to do is ignore him, even though with stupid male psychology that seems to make guys like you more! Just tell him straight he isn't your type but you respect him as a friend and a friend ONLY. If he doesn't like it then he knows where to go.

    • Don't you think you are being mean by letting him play the role of your friend and hoping for more? It's a crush. As soon as the hope goes, so will he. If you two are close, the hope is there and you are kind of letting it stay. ..

    • well no because I have had it before where a friend has fancied me. I told him straight I wasn't interested (when drunk unfortunately) but now we remain the best of friends, he has dealt with it and moved on and is very happy in a relationship with another girl, but remains friends with me too. It's just about finding the right balance.

    • Well if you both think it is possible. Very well.

      But I have tried this "balance" and figured out there was still something there. Sadly, but only once, even on my part.

  • Just be honest with him and tell him you are not interested. Some people just don't get it.

    you can say it in a nice way... but I still feel like you need to be upfront with him.

    Whatever he is doing to 'sweep you off your feet aren't the actions of a friend. friends don't do that.

  • Just avoid him. There's nothing else you can do.

    I totally get the idea of not rejecting unspoken feelings. It's awkward because there is the chance that they could turn it on you.

  • Just friend zone.

    • I don't want to. =(

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    • I don't want him around. How do you make someone who is so nice to you go away without being rude or impolite?

    • You can be polite and not rude. But it will hurt his feelings no matter what. I guess you could just write him a letter so you don't have to see him hurt. Although he may still act out later.

  • He's a good guy, but you don't respect him?

    That is not what a "lady" supposed to be.

    • A lady is a female who does her best to make everyone around her feel comfortable and happy. You don't think that is what I'm trying to accomplish here?

    • Show All
    • Okay girl don't be mad. Just don't give him the chance, try to stay away, and that's it.

    • xD I'm not mad.

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