Why men stop talking to women friends?

Why is it when guys get new girl friends or romantic interests that they would kind of stop talking to a woman that is their friend? I'm just curious, since my male friends never really gave me an answer. I have quite a few guy friends and we hangout or talk on the phone all the time and when one of them gets a girlfriend it's like their afraid to talk to me or they talk almost secretly. It's like relax "I'm your friend, not your mistress".


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is definitely a cycle I've seen happen with my best guy friend when he starts dating someone new. For a few months, it's like he's dropped off the face of the planet where I'm concerned. Unless we're out with a whole group of people- I don't see him and we don't talk on a regular basis. Normally- we talk all the time and hang out once or twice a week, but not so much when he has a new girl.

    I have no idea why, nor have I ever asked because I figure even if he could answer, it would be an answer I didn't agree with or one I couldn't rationalize (like some of the ones below). I have never had a problem with any of his girlfriends thus far disliking me or being jealous of me- we actually tend to get along so well that the problem comes when it ends. A few have expected me to take their side (I didn't lol)...

    Anyway, usually after a month or two (sometimes three or four) my best guy friend surfaces again and we text like normal, hang out like normal (although the girlfriend is sometimes with us) and things are fine. They stay that way until he's broken up with her (in some cases the relationship lasted years), gone through his mourning/rebound period, and found someone new.

    It used to bug me, now I just see it as a sort of cycle and I accept it...My only advice to you is wait it out with your guy friends, it will probably get better eventually. If it honestly really bugs you, say something. Ask them how they would react if you dropped them for a guy, or if one of their male friends dropped them for a girl. Probably not well lol...

    • Probably not. Yay you get my point. One we'll all hang out together and talk regularly I just figured cause he always refers to me as his sister when I think about it and the others will be like I'm seeing this girl I'll catch up with you later.

    • Yeah- men are unfathomable sometimes. Seriously, the few guys I dated who had a problem with my best guy friend (most accepted it), they were told either they got over it or they were gone- plain and simple. He's my family in everything but blood and nobody is making me give up our friendship.

What Guys Said 9

  • Probably because of their girlfriends/romantic interests being intimidated by another female being around them. Jealousy runs rampant with young women and men. And it's easy to misinterpret the kind of friendship where you talk on the phone all the time to someone of the opposite sex. I know my girlfriend FREAKS out if I have a chick friend at all. She gets openly jealous and questions me constantly about it. I don't have chick friends because it's not worth the trouble. And honestly, single guys rarely have chick friends they aren't attracted to. It might be them projecting their feelings toward you by distancing themselves whenever ANOTHER romantic interest comes into the picture. There are probably other reasons, but that's why I personally stop talking to chick friends after I start dating someone steadily in order of most prevalent to least.

    • Ok thank you for your honest opinion and personal experience. Yeah jealousy is an bxtch though. I get it but don't I guess because if I was dating Ima understand you have your friends I have mine I don't need you to solely pay attention to me all the time maybe about 80% in me being someone's girlfriend. Besides I've asked them a while back and my g friends say they aren't attracted to me. I never totally thought a phone call was bad since rarely to never do I show up in person.

  • I'm going to answer this one with a question... If you and I start to date, and I get calls from this girl, and at times you see me talking with this girl here and there... or you come by and see me at my house and she is there... you finally ask me who she is. I answer she is just a friend. Would you be comfortable with that? If I care for you, and worry about what you feel and might think, I would man up and just focus my attention and time on you and only you... If that girl is a friend then she should understand my/our situation... And bow out gracefully.. If she has issues with that, then I guess she wasn't just a friend... By the way, you have beautiful lips! MMMM! ;)

    • I don't have issues with it I was just wondering. And in that scenario I would ask at the start I wouldn't get mad about it. If he says she's just a friend I'll be like OK prove it we'll all hang out together and I'll judge myself. Even if I'm dating yes I will still talk to my male friends he's just gonna have to understand he's not my only friend.

    • Show All
    • No you didn't lol. I try not to get emotional in my responses so you're good. So you're saying if they were to see me which they haven't unless they saw my Facebook. Yeah that's all I'm asking because I'm not that type of person to be like you can't have her as a friend and be crazy about it. I do have one guy friend that no matter if he has a girlfriend he still calls to hang. The other 5 will disappear. So I'm like if one gives me clearance why are the majority different? I'd never disappear on a guy frend

    • And that's a good way to be.. Loyalty is rare these days... insecurity is at an all time high. So 4 out 5 guys are whooped... LMAO! It's a curse to be gorgeous! Embrace the suck, and you should be fine. Fair weather friends are a dime a dozen.

  • girls want you to only be interested in them, and would never believe you if you just said "we are friends"

    girls are naturally jealous and also naturally read into things that don't exist. the guy is using his common sense and paying his attention on nothing other than his gf

    • Lol yeah. I would I'll be sure to meet her and find out though. I know and understand my boundaries even if I don't agree with them. Out of respect for him.

    • yeh as long as you get that its not that he suddenly doesn't like you lol but you seem like you get it anyway lol

  • the girlfriend might get jealous...women are very posessive or am I wrong?

    • I'm not the possessive type I'm more of do you and I'll do me he can have his female friends because I have my male friends and I won't just stop talking to them. Now he can try something dumb if he wants to like cheat on me. I'll just be like try it see what happens...

  • Dude are you seriously asking us this question? Us male friend are trying to committed and doesn't want to have issues with their girlfiend. I mean what the hell would we do if our girlfriend find out we're talking to a chick at night that's not her? come on, Think about it.

    • Yeah like I said I'm just curious. And this is not like I talk to my male friends everyday, like once or twice a week. However my best best friend that's a guy I just don't think he cares because even when he's in a relationship he'll still call every other day or ask to hang with him and his girlfriend. The other ones don't do that so leads me to think what's the difference? Like they will get a go and one day say oh I have a girlfriend that's why we don't talk but are we still friends? Yeah should we not be?

  • They are afraid of their girlfriends finding about it.

    A lot of girls create unnecessary drama about it.Since you are a girl,you know how it is.

    In order to avoid all that emotional drama and mental stress you get from it,men tend to talk less or stop talking to their female friends.

    Again there are some weird rules that some girls put forward when in a relationship...like not talking to this guy,not talking to this girl and so on...basically the guys in such relationship follow it like a puppy dog since he doesn't wanna lose her.

  • Because their new girlfriend feels threatened by you, your connection, and doesn't want him going to you for advice. She probably thinks you secretly pine after him, or he pines after you, but one side isn't interested. Hang in there. You have to be understanding of women to be a good friend who is a girl. The gfs will come and go, but you will be around for the long haul...

    • I don't see how if I may've never met her or she's not treating my friend right that would force me to interact with her. I only understand -ish for hike the girl I'm not all too concerned about, unless I've met her talked and liked her maybe.

  • They don't just do it to their women friends, they do it to all their friends. And its not just men, girls do this to.

  • Because platonic male-female friendships are substitutes for relationships.


What Girls Said 1