Girl making excuses to hang out? lying? or?

[jace1987]

ok so I met this girl through a friend. We have met twice casually hanging out with a bunch of a friends. and then my friend told her I was interested in her and gave her my # and she started texting me. so we texted for a couple of weeks and finally agreed on a day we were both available to hang out. we both had a great time Christmas shopping together and had a lot to talk about. afterwords we sat in the car and had multiple deep conversations about each other to get to know each other. so long story short I was like alright I'm going to get going now nice hanging out with you have a nice night etc. and that awkward pause she looks at me and says "i suck at making the first move" so I leaned in and we ended up making out. so we ended up somehow talking more... and ended up making out again for when I actually left. so now we have been talking for 3 weeks meh every other day or so through text and fb and I have been trying to setup time to hang out with her again. she claims that she wants too. but yet keeps making little excuses. or like we would kinda like agree on something on a day.. and then when they day gets closer she will be like " I have a lot of things I have to do with my mom sorry" or "i have a dentist appointment and my teeth might bother me after" so I called her out on this and she said she really is busy and really wants to hang out again. so I told her alright I'm not asking to hang out anymore you do the asking. also another thing she has never texted me first.. except for when my friend gave her my #. what should I do?

[filltheair]

Maybe she changed her mind, or is on the fence. Could be she was annoyed she had to tell you to kiss her. Perhaps she only wants something casual but the shopping and conversation made her think you want a girlfriend. Unfortunately, the only person who knows the answer is too busy playing games to tell you straight.

Right now you're being super available and demonstrating a willingness to tolerate people who are dishonest and who don't value your time. I'd quit chasing. If she's into you, she'll show it. She can text you first if she wants to talk, or set up plans if she wants to hang out. If she doesn't, that stinks, but at least you'll know where you stand.

Telling her you won't ask her out seems needier than just keeping quiet and doing it, but it's a step in the right direction. If it comes up again in conversation, don't make a big deal about it.

You sound like a decent and conscientious guy. You have lots of other opportunities and you don't need to invest time into flakes. If she grows up, great, but if not, remember that we teach people how to treat us. Good luck.

[Racez]

Perhaps, she isn't ready for a relationship.

Or she will meet her family's/friend's disapproval when she's finally with you.

[wicked1213]

You showed her that you were interested.

Now it's her turn to reciprocate that. Usually those "excuses" is a nicer way for her to say "not interested" unfortunately.

She might only see you as a friend, and doesn't want anything more. Or just doesn't want anything from you. Sorry.

Try asking her a couple more times, trying to plan it where she is more likely to be available. And if she doesn't bite, then tell her that to text you when she is free. And that's it. Then you wait.

If nothing happens, I'm sorry dude. Better luck next time. You don't deserve someone who treats you like that anyways.

If she does text you, yippee. Girls do get busy, and we do forget to text back. It isn't always on our mind. However maybe make a group thing with your friends, so it isn't one on one. Maybe she got uncomfortable, shy. That would get her out of her shell if she's a shy one.

[swiftsaver602]

I just have to say that Christmas shopping together as a date is a great idea! Good way to get to know each other while checking off your to-do list.

Anyway, to your question: I genuinely feel as though this girl is into you. I highly doubt she would've made out with you and opened up to you if she wasn't. She could very well just be busy and have a difficult time making plans. Or, she could have changed her mind about things (for reasons that don't have to do with you) and doesn't know how to let you down.

It's good that you confronted her about it and told her that she has to do the asking out so as to not give you the run around. Back off like you're doing and wait and see if she contacts you.

[FatalFury]

But what if she is playing a game to see how long she can make him keep trying to ask her out, in order to determine if he is "worthy"? And if he stops asking, then would she think that he is no longer interested?

[LexiNinja]

She could actually be telling the truth. But yeah, I feel you when you say you get frustrated making plans with her, and then when it's time to go at the last minute she'll flake out or something will come up. I just say give it time, let her plan and schedule something to do. If she decides to or not, you'll at least get a take where you both stand.

[FatalFury]

But what if she is playing a game to see how long she can make him keep trying to ask her out, in order to determine if he is "worthy"? And if he stops asking, then would she think that he is no longer interested?

[harveykinkle]

Sometimes I make plans without thinking through my schedule. That could be it. When I make the plan I genuinely want to hang out then think fuuuuuuuuck.

You can predict the future by looking at the past and this will probably continue because people don't change. If you're annoyed she always cancels don't go any further.

[bittersweet321]

if I liked a guy enough, hell . it wouldn't matter how busy I am. ima make damn sure I spend time with my guy.

you've tried meeting up again, that's a no go. now it's her turn trying to make a day to meet up.

[Kel7245]

Let her contact you. Sounds like she was frustrated and you made it seem like you were not interested in kissing her.

[FatalFury]

But what if she is playing a game to see how long she can make him keep trying to ask her out, in order to determine if he is "worthy"? And if he stops asking, then would she think that he is no longer interested?

[nolaphoenix]

you should stop txting her and talking to her on fb just take care of you. when she wants to reach out to you then she will. give her a taste of her own medicine and keep yourself busy too. you shouldn't have to chase her.

[Trendigirl17]

Girls do that when they are not interested its their way of putting it off nicely

[jedkawil]

Her canceling and NEVER texting you first is a red flag. Maybe she likes you but if she does then she has a messed up way of showing it.

[Anonymous]

My think she's not interested