I'm being builled, what can I do?

My life was good until 5 years ago when my brother passed away. The school I went to, I had friends who I thought were there for me but once my brother died and grief settled in, they were no longer there. I realized who my real friends were, and it was not them. They picked on me because I had fallen into weakness with grief. We moved to a different country a while after my brother had gone and the bullying has followed me since. At my new school, everyone had their groups already and I was the new girl. I found a girl to hang out with but nobody really liked her. I stuck up for her and she became my friend but not long after did I hear rumours being spread about me. I didn’t know who else could spread them except for this girl I stuck up for and so I asked her but she denied it I knew she was lying but chose to forgive her because I wanted to help her and be a friend. She then started copying me with words I used, what I wore, what taste I had in music and food and I didn’t know why…why couldn’t she just be herself? I got this award for being the sweetest thing or something and everyone cheered except for her who stared at me with a face that sort of said “I want to kill you.” The boy who used to like me stopped because of something to which she said to him. I started to hang out with a new group only to see her chat with them a while after and them look at me giggling in my direction. I don’t know what to do because every group I hang out with now either give me looks and walk away or talks more sh*t up about me. I feel alone but I don’t want to give this girl who has been doing this to me the satisfaction of how I feel, so what can I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Except if you have given her a real real juicy secret that can put you in a tough spot, ignore her when she goes to people and talk sh*t about you. Actually, if you know the group of people, she talks to them and they giggle and watch you, walk up to them say hi and talk about anything or ask a question, be friendly, as far as you are aware it wasn't about you.

    Basically, if they talked about something else then you are joining your friends which is normal.

    If they are talking about you they will have to stop. Now it looks a lot like she does it because she is socially awkward and very insecure or watched too often "mean girls", but in my opinion she uses you to make friends in a certain way, because that is the only way she can contribute when talking to people.

    That said, the more importance you give her, the more that will happen to be honest, because if she honestly becomes a nobody for you then people won't have any interest in her gossips.

    She will probably stop as soon as she has a new way of socializing, or god forbid gets an unlucky bf.

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What Guys Said 15

  • Screw that chick.Tell her to back off and don't speak with her again.She'll keep making sh*t up about yu but I guess people will have to choose to believe it or not when they get to know you.Good luck.

  • You are going to hate me for telling you this. It's not everyone else's fault. It's yours. I was the new kid, I was bullied mercilessly for years. Expelled from multiple schools. I put guys in the hospital in order to get them to stop messing with me; They didn't, well at least their friends didn't. Eventually, through the school of hard knocks, I learned I was giving them the power to do this. By reacting, by letting their actions sting, I was giving them a way to mess with me. I learned to shrug them off, and be myself. I noticed I became a lot more popular when I did this.

    Learn to brush this kind of stuff off and realize it's just their insecurities about themselves making them do this. And you are leading with your chin wearing your heart on your sleeve. Take the high road. Kill em with kindness and fortitude. This won't go away completely when you get out of school, but it will lessen drastically.

    "Like water off a duck's back". Good Luck.

  • There is two things you can do: Go and talk to a superior, which will only lead to them bully you more. Or you could ignore everthing that is said wrongly about you. If you have a new group of people to hang out with. Ask them if they heared stuff about you; Tell them who you are and what happend.

    Bullies only keep on bullying if it's fun. It's only fun when they can get a certain reaction out of you. So when you bluntly ignore it. It's not fun anymore and they'll step aside after a while. Also keep in mind that studies show that most bullies bully because they're afraid of getting bullied themselves. Well, it's actualy more of a subconciouse trigger within them to protect them from being bullied. So feel sorry for them, they're really not bigger or greater than you, not even close. Feel sorry for them for they have to use fear to have power and to have friends of their own.

    Just ignore and don't show any fear. If the bully really gets backed up by others, be the grown up and just start speaking to him. Ask him why he's doing this, if he's having fun, if he's happy, if he has to prove to his mates that he can win from a girl, if he's doing it because he has a small cok, ...

  • I wish I could be there to protect you! I was always I big guy (and I'm not talking fat) I was always big naturally and I always stuck up for the under dogs in my school. I would see them getting picked on and would just explode.. One of the reasons I became a US Marine when I graduated HS... Training in the Corps taught me not only to protect but train those that needed protection to protect themselves when the Marines weren't around. The first thing you need to understand is that humans are more like animals then you think... They spot fear and weakness and those that are built to be wolves will see the sheep in you and prey on you... You need to become the sheep dog.. not a sheep... You have to stop being the victim. You don't have to be violent to do this, however you do have to learn to protect yourself. Martial Arts is a good way to learn this, and it builds confidence. You need to learn to become a good talker as well. Words are powerful instruments and can be weapons if used correctly. You have to walk the walk and talk the talk... Speak with authority look them in the eye with a look like if they say one more wrong word & you will rip their head off and crap down their throat! I seen US Marine women make a 'out of line sailor' pee their little white trousers with these looks and words that cut like steel.. It doesn't take a man to man up... The help starts with you... you have to fight this fight alone. & remember If it doesn't kill you it will only make you stronger!

  • All anyone can do is live the happiest life they can and be a friend to whatever people will let you. If someone gives you grief, stand up for yourself, no matter the cost. It's easier for dudes. We can just punch the bastard. Girl bullies need girl solutions.

    Lose the victim mindset. If you think you're not as good as the bully, they already won.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Develop a support system. Talk to your parents (don't be embarrassed... they know more stuff than you think), pray to God, maybe make some friends who don't go to your school. Take up a creative hobby like acting, singing, dancing, drawing, writing, etc. Having a creative outlet is one of the best stress relievers I know. And don't you dare change yourself to please these stuck up classmates of yours.

    I am so, so sorry for the loss of your brother. I have an older brother myself and couldn't imagine life without him. I'm sure he wants you to be happy. So, whatever you do, don't give up.

  • Confront the bully.they pick onu because you're an easy target, weak and defenseless