Why do women find mature guys boring?

Growing up I always tried to present myself well. But in high school and even now girls only seem interested in hanging out and dating guys that dress and act "their age." Guys that dress to fit a certain teenage or young adult stereotype. Maybe they're scene or emo or something, so they have piercings, a tattoo, or even gauges in their ears. Maybe they're jocks. Maybe they're hipster looking lol.

What I'm trying to say, I just dress the way I want to, and act the way I want to because it has never felt right being fake like that. But most girls, while friendly, seem strangely repulsed or distant when I make any effort to either get to know them better as friends, which is most of the time, all that I'm interested in is friendship, or the rare occasion when I really like a girl.

I see all these guys having female friends and hanging out with cool girls all the time, and I want to be like that too and have friends of both genders, but I just must be super boring to them or something because they never want to hang out, even when I ask or invite them too. I don't understand it. How can I overcome this obstacle?


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  • "I just dress the way I want to, and act the way I want to because it has never felt right being fake like that." Well I say you should dress how you want and that's all and good, but I hope I'm just misunderstanding your here and you aren't calling everyone with a scene or emo or jock types of clothing choices fakes. Because that's how I take that part. And I certainly won't agree with it. But the thing is while you are young, the feeling of excitement is usually the one most are searching and craving for. Those with the scene or emo or jock "styles" might offer them that feeling. If you are mature then, that's all well and good, but being mature usually means cautious, planning, thinking and stable. It's not something that is associated with excitement, fun or being spontanious, which is what most people at that age find appealing. As for being repulsed, it might be that they are intimidated by your behavior because they might feel ┬┤they have to hold up being all mature and serious, when they want to be relaxed and all that. Or they might think you have that attitude because you think others are beneath you which isn't usually a trait you want to have in a friend or a boyfriend. Or maybe it's some other cause. You'll never know unless you ask those girls.

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      I only mean fake as in they're not really being themselves. It could be a phase or something but it's ultimately something they'll grow out of, so it's really not "them." That's what I mean, not that I'm better than them.