Why do women find mature guys boring?

Growing up I always tried to present myself well. But in high school and even now girls only seem interested in hanging out and dating guys that dress and act "their age." Guys that dress to fit a certain teenage or young adult stereotype. Maybe they're scene or emo or something, so they have piercings, a tattoo, or even gauges in their ears. Maybe they're jocks. Maybe they're hipster looking lol.

What I'm trying to say, I just dress the way I want to, and act the way I want to because it has never felt right being fake like that. But most girls, while friendly, seem strangely repulsed or distant when I make any effort to either get to know them better as friends, which is most of the time, all that I'm interested in is friendship, or the rare occasion when I really like a girl.

I see all these guys having female friends and hanging out with cool girls all the time, and I want to be like that too and have friends of both genders, but I just must be super boring to them or something because they never want to hang out, even when I ask or invite them too. I don't understand it. How can I overcome this obstacle?


Most Helpful Guy

  • "I just dress the way I want to, and act the way I want to because it has never felt right being fake like that." Well I say you should dress how you want and that's all and good, but I hope I'm just misunderstanding your here and you aren't calling everyone with a scene or emo or jock types of clothing choices fakes. Because that's how I take that part. And I certainly won't agree with it. But the thing is while you are young, the feeling of excitement is usually the one most are searching and craving for. Those with the scene or emo or jock "styles" might offer them that feeling. If you are mature then, that's all well and good, but being mature usually means cautious, planning, thinking and stable. It's not something that is associated with excitement, fun or being spontanious, which is what most people at that age find appealing. As for being repulsed, it might be that they are intimidated by your behavior because they might feel ┬┤they have to hold up being all mature and serious, when they want to be relaxed and all that. Or they might think you have that attitude because you think others are beneath you which isn't usually a trait you want to have in a friend or a boyfriend. Or maybe it's some other cause. You'll never know unless you ask those girls.

    • I only mean fake as in they're not really being themselves. It could be a phase or something but it's ultimately something they'll grow out of, so it's really not "them." That's what I mean, not that I'm better than them.

What Girls Said 4

  • Hey! I like mature guys! Immaturity bothers me. I would like to have a decent intellectual conversation with a guy and that rarely happens with immature guys.

  • It depends who you're talking to and how mature you actually are (as opposed to how mature you feel that you are). I personally find mature guys sexy, but he has to be mature in his tastes, not just his sense of responsibility, for example. He has to say what he means and mean what he says, as I do... I don't have the time or inclination to deal with crap.

    (On cue, my mature guy texts me, so I have to go, lol.)

  • You probably have an old soul and don't fit in.you may not like this advice, but there's no point in getting indigent about it: change your style.dress more current.if you dress more like a forty year old than a guy your age, it just comes off weird.get involved in current popular events so you'll have stuff to talk about

    • I don't dress like I'm forty, just in nice sweaters and button ups and stuff. Nice pairs of jeans. Nice shoes. I don't see what's so "weird" about that.

  • being mature is not the same as boring. some girls go for older guys simply because they may be more mature, so being mature is a good thing. Some people may just see you as unapproachable or intimidating for any reason.


What Guys Said 3

  • Keep the mature, take out the boring.


    • But I'm really not that boring. I can be serious no doubt, but I love having fun.

    • Show All
    • I don't think I'm "hot" but definitely not bad at all either.

    • That's up for the girl to decide whether you are fun or you are hot. Bridging the gap between your self-perception and how women see you is the key.

      The two can be VASTLY different.

  • As a mature guy, I gotta say they don't find me boring.

    Maybe you're using the term mature wrong?

    • The older I get, the better this sort of thing seems to get, but especially back in high school and early college, it was like for the sole reason that I didn't enjoy partying, I wasn't a fun person. That's entirely false don't you think? What a stupid reason to blow someone off is it not?