Boyfriend is way too attached to his best friend

[Anonymous]

We've been dating for the past 4 months now and just since a week back we've began our long distance journey.

Ever since we began long distance, my guy hasn't been keeping much in touch with me. He says he's been busy and has to study and all. I don't expect him to anyway spend every hour of the day to message or call me, but at least he could respect the fact that we're on a long distance now and communication is very important. Love, Trust and Loyalty is completely there in our relationship. Only Communication is missing. I have tried keeping myself busy as well but still I miss him some time or another whenever I'm doing anything.

Only when I message him "I miss you", he replies back saying the same. Else he doesn't bother messaging. It bugs me thinking whether does he even miss me? :/

The 2nd thing that has been bugging me is that he has a best friend for many years now and ironically that guy is my friend too since a year.

Basically I met my guy through this same guy. Everything initially was awesome. But some time later it would just pinch me whenever this guy would be around. Because he would always come along with my guy when I just wanted to spend good quality time with my guy. Whether it's a movie or lunch or any outing, he would always be there even though he wasn't invited. And when he's around, my guy won't be himself. He is very conscious about people around. That bugs me.

My guy meets his friend every single day but when it came to meeting me, he'd make excuses and meet me just twice a week or so inspite of staying just 15 minutes away.

Just yesterday I got into an argument with that friend because he had deleted a picture of my guy and me which was uploaded by him in Feb during my guys birthday.

I don't know what was his need to delete it. I confronted him and first he says that he probably didn't upload it and then later he just changes his statement and gives me a very dumb reason for deleting the picture. I immediately caught him that he was lying.

He is a dear friend to both my guy and me. But there are times when I don't want him anywhere around us.

I called up my guy and spoke to him about the picture thing and he was in full support of his friend and the dumb reason that his friend gave. Over that my guy tells me that I agitated his friend and that's why he spoke rudely to me.I was crushed to hear that. I hate losing people I love the most. And I don't know but I'm scared that this same friend because of whom my guy and me met could be the reason for us parting ways some day. I don't want that day to ever come because I love my guy to death and each day even though we're on a distance I do my level best to make sure our relationship doesn't fade. I don't know what's his friends intentions. It confuses me at times.

Are all guys like this or is this odd? Isn't there a limit to "bros over hos"?

[Bribriberry]

I don't think you are really overreacting. You have a right to be upset. It's a long distance relationship, and it takes 2 to make it work. No, he doesn't have to spend every second fawning over you. But you do deserve a little more, you know? Long distance relationships are harder to keep up; not saying you can't do it. But it could be a sign that things aren't working as much as you might want. Really, you need to talk to your boyfriend about it. Have a sit down. Make sure that he understands that you need it to be just the two of you. Express your worries about you two not connecting as much. Maybe he doesn't realize he's even doing it.

As for the friend thing, talk with him about how you feel. Tell him that you want more you time; just the 2 of you. After a bit, you could make plans for the 3 of you to hang out. You could even invite the friend to hang out; just the 2 of you.

If nothing works, and everything is still the same, you might need to make a hard decision. Even if you love him as much as you do, you deserve better. But try sitting him down and going over important issues. Don't jump ship right off. It's only been a few months.

[KingJR]

I think you're the one creating the issue here, not him. You're creating negative issues where there are none. Him not contacting you isn't a sign that he doesn't miss you. YOU're the one giving this behavior, that meaning. To him, maybe nothing's changed. As for the picture, who cares, it's just a picture...

You're seeing how things will be in a long distance relationship with this guy. Now it's up to you to decide if he's giving you what you want. If he isn't, you can't really FORCE him to do this. Because it's when you force someone to do something, that the other person starts to resent you. You're not in a relationship to be his boss.

I know I seem to be bashing you a lot, but really, it's your decision to make. If you're unhappy about the situation, you can either chose to be done with it, or accept who he is.

[Bribriberry]

There's also the third option of her sitting him down and expressing a few of her concerns. She doesn't have to leave him. She doesn't have to stay and be basically ignored either. If you communicate concerns, the other person can decide if they want to change. He might not even realize that he's doing it. If she points it out in a real heart to heart talk, he might change his ways. It's only been a few months. Nobody is perfect. If she sits him down, and he doesn't want to give her a little more time and affection, she has to make a decision. It might be difficult, but that is up to her. She can't force him to change. But she deserves a little more.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with him. Most guys are like that.