Feeling insecure about my boyfriend's new female friends?

[Anonymous]

We've been going out 3 years and this year started working and he started another course in uni. He's always been very outgoing and had lots of friends, but mostly guys who I know quite well.

But since starting his new course he's making a lot more female friends. I've met most of them at least once and some are very nice, but a few of his closer friends aren't that friendly toward me and I've started to feel very insecure about him going out with them and staying overnight for parties. I've brought it up a few times and he says I'll like them once I get to know them and he'd never do anything that would hurt me. I trust him but the fact I'm worried that one or two of them like him, and I don't like not being there. Plus I don't get invited out with those particular girls so I can't get to know them. I just want to stop feeling so insecure and relax about it, but I don't know how?

[LiL-LAH]

They're just his new friends who are they to judge you and 'mate check" you? You two have been together for three years solid? I reckon it's just typical females being females. And I would keep a pretty close eye on the ones that got a thing for your man. These chicks better let it be known that you love your man and you know he's sociable and that is all good but that is a line they can't cross. As for your man mono-syllables for communication like just be straight up keep neutral men aren't good with feelings. AND definitely has he proved to you that your the only one he wants to be with? By the sounds of things you really don't have much to worry about it's just the negative vibes your getting from the female mates of his that's all.

Besides it shouldn't be them approving of you just cause they know him it should be vice-versa?

I've been in that situation though but the females my b.f encounters with better be ready if they want to deal with me cause I won't back down.

You need to tell your man about them and what is he gonna do about it? Just so your insecurity can be put to rest and you two can move forward from this even stronger. Over-nights as long as his boy mates are there too or you just got to drag yourself along see how everyone reacts including him? I would if my b.f loved me enough he wouldn't mind and would be glad and like a territorial statement to this chicks. Man I feel for you though that situation sucks.

[Simple-Simonette]

Sometimes it's good to listen to your intuition. You're catching a vibe from his new female friends, and it isn't a good one.

He's your boyfriend and he's hanging out with women who don't behave like they particularly like you, for whatever reason. I don't really think it's insecurity you're feeling, most likely disloyalty because he's friends with girls who are less welcoming towards you as they should be. If my husband had friends, regardless of their gender, I would expect to be respected if not welcomed by them. As his girlfriend, you are important to him and therefore should be important to his new friends.

I don't see why he can't include you in his plans with his new friends, and I sure as hell don't see the need for him to spend the night. (But that's just my ugly jealousy monster speaking, lol.) Men are sometimes too obtuse to see what a woman can sniff out in a heart beat. My intuition has never failed me - when it speaks I listen.

All you can really do is make more of an effort to be involved with his social life. Accusations are useless and will only cause him to become defensive. Try to talk to him without demanding ultimatums and hopefully he will be sensitive enough to see your side of it. All you can do is communicate your feelings and hope for the best.

Good luck.

[misunderstoodgirl]

Honestly, you will never not feel insecure! Unless you're trapped on an abandoned desert island with no other humanity there!

I'm so glad you trust him because trust is one of the main ingredients to making a happy relationship, as well as love.

by the sounds of it these girls do like him, but you have him! So obviously they wouldn't like you, no matter how sweet and kind you are!

my advice is to live in the moment! Everyone is scared of being hurt but that's the risk you take when you're in a relationship!

although as for staying overnight, you have a right to express how you feel about that to him, and if he loves you he'll do what's best for you both!

I wish you the best of luck!

xxx

[paigexhottness]

From personal experience... I'd be bothered by this. My boyfriend broke up with me for a girl that he worked with. You should tell him how you feel about it. I regret not doing that. Just be careful. Nothing feels worse than being left for someone else. I felt like I wasn't good enough for anyone for months.

[tango]

He is social normal person and he has friends who are boys and girls. Sometimes friends don't like you and it's all normal because we're not supposed to be popular among all. But, there are two things to think about:

1. If his friends don't like you for some reason, he would listen to them and it could affect your relationship badly. I think that you don't have to worry about it because if he cares about you, he will never listen to them about their dislike towards you but he will tell them good things about you.

2. Worrying about "the vibe" : You have to trust your partner. If you love him, you must know trust is one the basics in a relationship. But jealousy is normal when you love somebody (if this is healthy). Even if you're jealous, you must not try to control your partner's life. Plus, if he loves you back, he has to behave, he must guard and deserve your trust. But don't expect from him to prove something.

[StrykerJ]

Well..if these "friends that don't like you" are girls...he has probably told them about you and they are probably jealous about it lol. But that's just from my experience.

[Anonymous]

in my opinion, I would be bothered too. he shouldnt be staying over night at parties either. its natural for you to feel insecure when other girls come into the picture, just tell him how you feel and try to trust him