When a guy mentions marriage does that mean he's serious about you?

[BrunetteBabe1005]

This question is for my friend. She isn't dating this guy, and her reasoning behind was because he will act interested in her and then back away. Like one time on Facebook this guy made a post about marrying my friend and she was pregnant with his child. We knew he was joking, but who really jokes like that? Also he said one time to her that he felt that they were soulmates.

I noticed though he makes marriage references to her. Like I posted a pic of them back in the summer time, cause I was going through my phone and I stumbled across a pic of them, and he said underneath it "Me and Nicole on our 3rd year anniversary!" I notice with other girls he doesn't do that.

I keep telling her to date him, but she has her doubts cause she said he is a flake, and she doesn't think he's serious about her, when I think he is. I could be wrong though, but he stuck up for her when she was upset about her brother, he called her brother, and bitched him out.

Also he went inside her house once, when I was there and he said to her dad "Meet your new son in law!" He was joking, but I think he's more "joking on a square" you know what I mean?

I do notice though he will be kinda in and out of her life, but I was thinking maybe it's because she doesn't reciprocate. Like according to her he's persistent but then backs away and becomes distant, but in my opinion I think it's cause she doesn't reciprocate so he backs away. I think he does like her. Well that;s why i'm on here, lol.

Tell me what you think? What do you gather form this? If a guy makes marriage references does that mean he really likes her? Does it mean he's serious about her? all opinions are welcomed, and I will pick Most helpful! Thank you! :)

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+1 y

Ok guys, sorry, I didn't know this, but that whole marriage joke on Facebook was because my friend and Ryan (the guy she likes) were talking about how these 2 girls hate her for even talking to Ryan. Ryan then put that about the marriage thing to

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+1 y

piss them off, but my friend didn't know he was going to do that. Then he to my friend that he wanted to take her to a bridal store, and take a pic of her in a wedding dress or with a wedding ring on, he said to her "we should play this out" LOL!

[jesseray]

When he joked about marriage and impregnation on Facebook , did he make it obvious to outsiders that they have no relationship? If not, then it is possible that he used the joke to persuade other men not to pursue her, because she has a relationship already or she has too much baggage. This would reduce her romantic options and limit her freedom to pursue anyone other than him. The joke could have been manipulation and passive-aggressive entrapment disguised by laughter.

When she expressed discomfort with the "joke", did he make it sound like she was too sensitive, fussing over nothing, and that her bad feelings stemmed from a flaw in her character? The answer is obvious, based on how he continues to make these kinds of "jokes". His utter disregard for her feelings and belittling of her character could make her distrust her intuition, make her feel powerless to affect change, and coerce her into going along with his plans. This could be more manipulation and passive-aggressive entrapment disguised by laughter.

He puts her father and brother in uncomfortable positions. They could choose to argue the point, but that risks having her think they are rude and controlling and having her pursuer validate those feelings by insisting (like always) that he was just joking and their emotions stem from character flaws. Or they could choose not to argue the point, but that risks having her think that they are supportive. This could be more manipulation and passive-aggressive entrapment disguised by laughter.

See the pattern? The jokes give plausible deniability while manipulating the people around him and isolating your friend from her support network: father, brother, friends, potential lovers, intuition, and self-esteem. If he does not know he's doing this (which I seriously doubt), then he is a clueless jerk (not marriage material), and if he does (which I suspect), then he's a predator (not marriage material).

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Thanks a lot for your input! :) Well Ryan doesn't do it often, cause like I said he is kinda out of her life right now but I think it's because she didn't reciprocate. When she told him it was dumb to say those things on Facebook he quickly deleted it, and said he was just joking around, and joking to our friends about it, and our friends know it was just kidding around. I am not sticking up for him, but her brother is garbage. Her brother is a horrible person, and Ryan saw how upset she was, but later on in the night he called her brother up drunk and bitched him out, but when he was sober he was quiet, but you could tell he was really upset about what her brother did, cause I was there with her. I read his body language really well, and he seemed very agitated and upset. Ryan is known for being jokester. He kids around a lot, and I just think he doesn't know how to approach my friend, so he would say things like this, but I could be wrong. She is so stubborn, lol.

[HandsomeRaj]

Yep this guy's sure kidding on a square alright.

He wants to but is unable to put it across straight probably cause he's a little scared of the commitment stuff or because he thinks that she may reject him. I'd place both these possibilities together equally in this case though more weight on the latter. He's been referring to marriage constantly to get feelers about how she and those that matter to her and also general friends will react.

[BrunetteBabe1005]

She has rejected him before. She is stubborn with him, she thinks everything he does isn't sincere, when she never really gave him a chance, so she can't make that judgement yet. I understand though when she says he comes in and out of her life, but I honestly think he only does that cause she doesn't reciprocate, and I think he went with the marriage thing, cause I think he just doesn't know what else to do with her. He has told her in the past how much he likes her, and he complimented her, he's more gentle around her, where as he's more rough, and vulgar around other people. But yeah, I think you're right. Thanks a lot for commenting! :)

[HandsomeRaj]

No wonder the guy kids on a square all the while lol

This girl's probably got a certain idea in her head like a fantasy guy which this guy doesn't fit into. Hope her fantasy man is somewhere near realistic and that she's willing to forgo a cpl of points held by her else she'll probably either stay single or wind up in a bad relationship

[HandsomeRaj]

Thank you and thank you again young lady :) I appreciate your kind & thoughtful gestures always :)

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Yes especially since most men fear settling down for a while its probably serious

[BrunetteBabe1005]

I agree! I said that to her, but she has major trust issues, and it's understandable. She doesn't want to get hurt, but I just think he really does like her, but she just thinks he's joking around and not serious, when he is that type, but he doesn't do that to anyone else. He doesn't joke about marriage or anything to anyone else, so that makes me think he's really not joking about it. I could be wrong, but thank you so much for commenting! :)

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Men never joke about these things unless they are stupid and in high school

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Agreed! lol! Yeah, and this guy is like 25 years old. She's 22 years old. SO they are way passed that, haha. Thanks! :)

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Yeah he is at the right age to settle down

[islands7]

Some guys: It means he can't stand seeing YOU with anyone else.
This jokester: Marriage is a joke

[BrunetteBabe1005]

So you're saying he's joking and not serious? That could be it. A big possibility it could be it, lol. Thank you! :)

[islands7]

Well I don't have the whole daily story but I read he takes every opportunity to make marriage into a joke. Tangent: so he really got her pregnant THEN JOKED to her Dad about being the son-in-law... NOT haha? Does the Dad not have a gun?

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Lmao! Well Ryan is a jokester and I think her dad knew he was joking, but no he never at all got her pregnant they never even had sex with each other, cause she is so stubborn, lol. She thinks everything he does is no sincere, but yet she is obsessed with him, and talks about him incessantly to me, so I am just trying to get opinions on this, so she can just go out with him, haha. But thanks for commenting! haha! :)

[islands7]

I see... so he's playing hard to get and fully aware he's in like Flint.. in her heart and she's after him. Maybe someone talks him into dance class or similar then she signs up as well to kick start a regular get together?

[BrunetteBabe1005]

LOL! He has asked her out, but she is so stubborn that she won't go out with him, but yet she likes him a lot so I don't understand her. Haha! Thanks a lot for commenting! :)

[islands7]

Then they need to join a group to be together?

[SuperPickle]

With as few words as possible: I think you're dead on right. :)

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Really? Thank you! I appreciate you commenting! Cause I do want to see if anyone else agrees with me, or if I have it kinda wrong myself, lol. Thanks! :)

[SuperPickle]

Sounds to me like there's a lot of truth behind those jokes. If he were just a cruel bastard, he wouldn't stand up for her like that. All of it adds up.

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Yeah, I agree! I mean he doesn't really show loyalty to other people, but she said to me "Oh he was drunk" but it doesn't matter, he was upset about her brother when he was sober. I just think he called him up and bitched him out when he was drunk, and according to her brother he said "You don't understand man, I love your sister, why would you do that to her?" Her brother is garbage and tried to play a revenge game on her, but anyways she doesn't take it seriously, when I tried to explain to her, that he was very upset about it when he was sober, it's just when he was drunk it exacerbated his feelings and he felt comfortable enough to call him out and bitch him out. But she still doesn't agree, lol. But thank you for commenting! I appreciate it! :)

[SuperPickle]

Well, tell her some random guy on the Internet said that she's not seeing it. That should work. :P hehe

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Hahaha! Will do! Thanks! :)