Ladies, this is absolutely our fault!

Ladies, this is absolutely our fault.

I think the last time I saw real amounts of hair not on my head or sculpted in an eyebrow was when I was thirteen. That was the first year I picked up a razor (my first being my brothers) and just started getting rid of the stuff and I've been doing it ever since. Shaving, waxing, Nair-ing; whatever gets the job done. It doesn't end there either. After that, its perfuming, its make-up-ing, and it's doing all the hair that I "allow" to grow on me, before putting on a pair of heels which I know I won't last long in. However, I rarely if ever complain about this routine the way I hear some girls and women going on about the process especially to their boyfriends or husbands.

I don't get it. All of these things are absolutely optional. "But wait," you say, breathlessly, "society says women have to do all these things." Hmm, who exactly is this so called society made up of? Do you not exist as a part of this society. Are you not one of the rule makers? The reason "society" says that shaving, and make-up, and heels are the so called norm is because we women allow it to be. We buy up the latest magazines proclaiming the latest trick to get rid of our hair, to paint our faces, and to buy designer heels. We hungrily digest this information and pass it on to our mothers, our dauthers, our friends, and even our children. We watch the commercials, we go to the malls, and we discount online. We keep the cycle going and we keep affirming that these things are what make a woman more beautiful and more accepted rather then naturally growing hair where hair naturally grows or walking out of the door in our plain and natural face.

Need proof? When Julia Roberts hit the red carpet at a movie premiere with her natural under arms, we ladies (and gents) went absolutely nuts. You would have thought she pulled out a baby on the red carpet and ate it right in front of our very eyes, and then licked her bloody lips from the outrage. I mean, my God, did she somehow forget? Didn't she have assistants to remind her to shave? This is a premiere...a p-r-e-m-i-e-r-e, like who shows up like that, to a premiere? Some of you are probably absolutely repulsed at just the mere thought of hairy armpits on a woman, let alone seeing the actual proof of it right in front of you on a major celebrity who can afford to be encased in carbonite if they wanted to.

The same goes for make-up. There are entire magazine spreads dedicated to stars without make-up which aren't so kind to the "before" versions of the stars, and most try their best not to get caught not painted up the way you and I might put on a hat to run to the grocery store if we don't have concealer on. There are a lot of women out there who rarely if ever leave the house without just a touch of something, if not a full face done up. And still some of you complain about what all you have to do. You are given a choice everyday to decide how you are going to look and how you are going to present yourself to the world, but given half a chance to be truly natural, many simply cave to the collective and continue on with being what the society you have helped create says you should be rather then be any form of your natural self. You don't want to go against the grain. You choose not to fight it by wearing these things.

Now the irony is, this isn't a take that's going to end in me giving a flowery speech about how you should be natural and we should stand up for growing out our hair and wearing flats everywhere, but rather an ending note that, if you really and truly don't want to continue to the beauty regime, then don't. Toss your make-up, razors, and heels and be free, but if you are like me, and you just went to Sephora for yet another make-up haul, don't complain about; not the price, not that you have to apply it, not how long it takes, because you are choosing to do it. You are saying, I want this. I want to be a part of what society says I should be. I want to conform to the standards that I am a part of agreeing can and do exist. Am I a sheep, probably, so baaaaaa! and move on with your life and stop complaining about it! If you wanted to really "be you" you would have done it already!


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What Guys Said 9

  • ... those arm pits, has she never heard of waxing? women shouldn't shave it just makes the hair grow back faster and thicker. For men that's a good thing for women not good.

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    • the hair growing back coarser is a mythhhhhhh

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    • OMG... he said the same thing just in a more technical way <.< and I get the short end of the stick pfft

    • @FreyaDiermayr it was towards both of you it just happened to be in your area.

  • If my girlfriend didn't want to shave, she would have to find a new boyfriend

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  • In my area, if a girl went out without showing hairy legs, she'd be bullied, commented on, be treated like a laughing stock, not get any job and no guy would ever approach her. She wouldn't have many female friends, either. So being "free", as you call it, would mean no love life, no job, poor social life and dealing with bullying every single day. So not shaving her legs is hardly a real choice. We don't live in a world where people who don't conform can just "be themselves" and live a normal life. And that's something every person has a right to complain about. Those are important things to talk about, because as we become more aware of it all, we'll become more accepting and the world will be better for us all.

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    • I meant, "went out showing hairy legs".

    • I truly believe you are exaggerating. We're not talking radical, we're talking hair, make-up, and heels. I agree there are some specific jobs like modeling, or acting, or being an executive somewhere that do require a specific standard as literally outlined in an employee handbook or a contract, but "no love life, job, or social life" is you completely overstating things. Hair growth on everyone's body is normal. A lot of things that people once considered abnormal, or not the same, or non conforming have become standard like bi-racial dating, style of hair, or clothing, or music simply because people stopped conforming or went against a preconceived notion about the way things ought to be, and started exposing more and more people to it... which by immersion and exposure helps something become the 'new normal.' Even one person can do this.

  • Lol idc, hairy chicks sucks.

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  • I agree with maintenance not makeup. Maintenance such as shaving, working out, doing your hair, etc.. Is just improving yourself without out right lying about your appearance with makeup. Maintenance is necessary to be attractive. I do it, the difference is I don't complain about cultural beauty standards. Self improvement is key, not comformity.

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  • Why did you go anonymous for this? It's beautiful!

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  • dude this is clearly patriarchy

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  • Lol a woman taking responsibility for her life and actions rather than crying about how men are at fault? I've now seen everything. I applaud you Madame!! Great honest take!!

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  • On those pictures with all the makeup faces. Am i the only one who actually thinks they look SO much better without makeup?

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What Girls Said 7

  • a lot of men appreciate the effort women put into our appearance

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  • i LOVE and ENJOY doing my makeup and wearing heels. i've gotten my whole body lasered. it cost lots of money that i had saved and i honestly dont feel like i wasted it. i love getting up and doing my brows, hair, and makeup. i enjoy walking in heels with a bright red lipstick. just because i enjoy it doesn't mean everyone else has to. everyone has their own thing.

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  • Well said.

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  • I love to take care of my appearance because it helps boost my self confidence and it makes me feel better about myself in general. Even though if society doesn't pressure women to take of themselves, I'll take care of myself because of that reason.
    There is no way I'll leave myself hairy. I'm fine with not wearing makeup on daily basis but I want to get dolled up for special occasions.
    All these things that involve beauty are fun for me and I have no regrets. I don't wear heels, wax, wear lipgloss, etc.. because I feel pressured, I do it because I want to and it's fun.

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  • I kind of feel like you're discounting the realities of social pressure, but ok.

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    • that is a pressure you are ultimately applying to yourself. We all know of those people who march to the beat of their own drum. They go against what society, which again, we are all a part of, sets forth as "the rules." Why should anyone be afraid... because you don't want to go against a set of rules that aren't actually binding. You could be one of those people if you wanted to, but the only thing holding you back is you telling yourself I won't ever be accepted, or liked, or loved, if I don't shave my legs, or wear make-up, or whatever the case. Sure its always harder to be the first or the only, but it can be done if you want it to happen.

    • I very rarely wear make up except to work because it is expected that I do so as part of "professional dress". That's not a pressure I put on myself - that is expected of me in the workplace. Just to give you an example.

  • You're so right, we should just do what we like and it's not bad to shave or not shave, wear makeup or not wear it, wear heels or not wear heels. I love makeup but hate shaving and I only wear heels for special occasions, I'm comfortable with this.

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    • Right. There is nothing wrong with saying I want or don't want to do this, but complaining about something you willingly submit too of your free will, makes little sense as you have the ability to stop at any time if you choose. But I choose to shave and wear make-up and heels, and to conform to our societies rules, as you have chosen to participate in some of those practices as well. We're good. Life is happening. Yes!

  • Wouldn't consider anyone a "sheep" because they choose not to be hairy or want to apply makeup. A little judgy of you TBH

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    • how can I be judgy of others if I'm talking of myself included? We are sheep. Just like everyone who wears the same Nikes, the same pair of jeans, their hair the same way. There is nothing wrong with being part of a group of conformists, but then don't turn around and complain about the thing you've chosen to conform to. That's all.

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    • Well, to literally define what it means to conform, it means to comply with rules, standards, or laws, and behave according to socially acceptable conventions or standards, or to be similar in form or type. Our society says women should shave their legs and armpits, and so you do. Sure you might really like being smooth, and neat, and clean (raises hand, yes, that's me, I do!), but you have pointed out that you don't like hairy armpits which we all naturally have. It would make more sense for you to accept what you were born with in theory, then to have to shave constantly to create something that doesn't exist naturally. This is where the conformity comes in. Either your friends, mom, sister, or a popular magazine introduced you to this process. Shaving is an unnatural process. So in order for you to conform, somewhere along the line, yes, even if you really like it, you have made the choice to do as society dictates.

    • Even if you joined a collective of women who didn't believe in shaving, they would still be outside of the norm we as a society have set up when it comes to women and hair. But again, nothing wrong with towing the line, and being a part of the group or not being a part of the standards that exist.

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