Stop Worrying About Your Appearance, Because There's Someone for Everyone!

I'm not some sort of uber-spiritual body positivity preacher. I don't support the fat acceptance movement and I don't believe being fat is healthy. That being said, I also think a lot of people (men and women) have a lot of misconceptions about beauty and what the other gender finds attractive. This MyTake is based on my own experiences as well as other guys' experiences.

I'd say most women and girls believe that this is the ideal body type, and any deviation from it is a "flaw."

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that model is unattractive. However, I also don't find this picture or this model arousing in the slightest. Many other guys would probably agree with me. Other guys would disagree.

Human bodies are, by nature, imperfect. Imperfection is normal and healthy. Some people carry more fat on their waist. Others, on their hips. Some people have crooked teeth. Some have large foreheads. This does not make you unattractive.

Conventionally, these are the features seen in magazines that a lot of women believe are the ideal standard

-flat stomach

-perfect teeth

-smooth, silky skin

-Toned thighs

-small waist

-toned arms

-not too muscular

-long hair

But plenty of guys don't actually find these things attractive. I'm not going to lie, some guys do find flat stomachs attractive. But many guys don't. Personally, I actually like thin women with a bit of fat on their stomachs (a "softer" body type).

I've heard guys say they like large thighs before, as opposed to thigh gaps. Some guys like harder bodies, some guys like softer bodies. Some guys like muscular bodies.

But ultimately, here's the other thing you have to understand. Guys don't really control their arousal and attraction. It is extremely unlikely that a guy will ONLY be attracted to women of a certain body type or look. From my experience, this isn't the case at all. There's plenty of girls I've liked who didn't have all the features I like.

Many guys like Kate Upton, even though she has a slightly thicker waist.

My point with this MyTake isn't to make some grand statement about tolerating everybody or accepting everybody or anything like that. I made this MyTake to point out how the media kind of gives women the wrong idea. Most guys are not looking for perfection, few guys require perfection, and what guys think is "perfect" differs significantly from guy to guy.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy and happy, but don't obsess over looks. What women fail to realize sometimes is this: Yes, guys notice everything even things you don't want them to notice (the same could be said for women admiring guys.) But guys don't CARE that much. Are guys "visual"- yes, we are. But believe me, most guys do not require or want perfection. Many guys don't find Photoshopped models attractive at all, because their features are unnatural.

And every guy likes something different.

Pretty much everything in this MyTake could be applied to women as well. Women do not require perfection. Women have a wide variety of tastes when it comes to men. I just wrote it from a man's perspective because well... I'm a man.

I don't know, hopefully this helps. I see this sort of thing often and I just wanted to clarify some misconceptions.


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What Girls Said 4

  • 3mo

    I like how guys never stop to consider that we might have body goals that (gasp!) WE want to achieve.
    It's not all about what you guys want, dude. Really... It's not.

    What's funniest -- and most ironic -- is when that misunderstanding comes from guys who hit the gym all the time to get big and shredded, even though the vast majority of women DON'T want a guy who's too big or too shredded.

    __

    Read this take, by the way:
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a30952-no-models-aren-t-supposed-to-be-sexy-no-the-fashion-industry

    You'll have a better idea of what's going on there. Most women do not actively want to look like models.

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    • 3mo

      I understand there are other factors, but the mytake was already long and I wanted to keep it brief.

      If most women do not actively want to look like models, why do so many women starve themselves? To ignore your body`s wants and needs you have to want something really badly... too badly

      Models used to be thicker. Anorexia less prevalent. Models are thinner now, anorexia is more prevalent.

      Body goals for men are-be in better shape and be more muscular. Women on the other hand want to be skinny, not healthy. Why is that? What makes women think skinnier is better.

      I have witnessed the effects of this firsthand. I was at the beach one time with a girl and she commented on how great another woman's body was. Not in an admiration sense, in a sad and jealous sense.

      There is a reason advertisers use models and want that to be connected with their product.

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    • 3mo

      It's not preprogrammed in a woman's brain that they should be really skinny. Why would it?

    • 3mo

      Weight is not weight. Women and men with an ideal body fat percentage are found to have less health issues overall. Muscle helps with metabolism. The more muscle a person has, the stronger a person's heart will be because the heart has muscles. Excess fat damages the body. Yes, a person with a bigger body will have more blood to pump, but if the heart muscle is stronger it is able to do that. Whereas if the heart muscle isn't stronger and the body is just bigger it is much harder for it to do that.

  • 2mo

    It's true. I never think I am pretty until some guys mention it to me. But hey I got a lot of rejections too -____________-

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  • 3mo

    That top picture is NOT ideal. She has the body of a drag queen lol huge shoulders, boxy man waist and no hips.

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  • 3mo

    I agree with this and have been trying to tell my friends this for many years when they start worrying about not fitting into the stereotype of what the opposite sex is "supposed" to like. I like to think of people as works of art. There is always someone who will appreciate it. Like some people prefer abstract art, others prefer a different kind (sorry, I'm not too familiar on the subject). Everyone has different preferences, and you are beautiful in at least one person's eyes.

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    • 3mo

      I'm curious. What would you say encourages this stereotype? Would you say models in magazines encourage this stereotype?

    • 3mo

      I'm not really sure. I think it's just a stereotype in general, that all men like [fill in the blank] and all women like [fill in the blank]. I think it's been around for years.

What Guys Said 5

  • 3mo

    Okay I guess I'lll stop worrying about being too tall.

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  • 3mo

    The top picture doesn't appear ideal at all. She looks ill.

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    • 3mo

      Yeah, but when you look up model that is the result. And there are much skinnier models

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    • 3mo

      The two black-and-white Katharine Hamnett ads in this take are *definitely* not photoshopped:
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a30952-no-models-aren-t-supposed-to-be-sexy-no-the-fashion-industry

      __

      "... believe it or not"

      ^^ I was an editorial fashion model. I know what goes on.

    • 3mo

      @redeyemindtricks Hang on, I feel like a lot of the points I've made aren't supported with evidence and I haven't done enough research on this. I'm going to read your MyTake more in depth and the next time I'll respond I'll have a more cohesive argument instead of just pulling stuff out of my ass and stuff. I only skimmed the MyTake, so I'm going to look more in depth. It's an interesting topic. I want to figure out my own stance and present solid evidence which so far I haven't been doing. I'll have a better response in a couple days.

  • 3mo

    But I worry for me, not for others. -_-

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  • 3mo

    That makes an awful lot of sense to me because I would be reverse to you - I think the first model is gorgeous if she was shown in a non photoshopped picture/

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  • 3mo

    I do like your take but I don't agree with the title. I actually thought you were going to include the men's side to this as well. As a very short guy I don't have hope for finding a girl to love or marry. If I was average height though I'm sure it would be a different story.

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    • 3mo

      The title was "slightly" Tweaked by a moderator apparently to give it more oomph (I guess they changed a word and added an exclamation). I mean it to sound more matter of fact, they changed it to sound punchier.

      Not being a woman myself I figured I'd give a man's perspective. Also because women tend to worry about this more then men in my experience.

      I've seen very short men with very tall women, very short women with very tall men and every variation. If I've seen a very short guy with a normal sized woman and they were married/in a relationship that statement isn't true.

      Out of curiosity, how tall are you?

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