My Head, My Hair and My Rules!

My Head, My Hair and My Rules!

I just recently saw something on here about all the things men find attractive on women and one of those things was, long hair. That was follwed by the statement of "ladies stop with those pixie cuts". It's statements like those that tick me off. I want to make VERY clear that, I don't care that men have preferences and don't even care that long hair is one of them. It's the attitude that goes with that preference, that bothers me. The attitude that comes off like men expect all woman everywhere to grow their hair long, even if they don't look good that way. That doesn't seem right to me. I think men can admire women with long hair, but can't expect all women to want to have or maintain long hair.

I always think that if I ever met a guy who told me I needed to grow my hair out, my answer would be this "Fine, I'll grow my hair out. However, there's a few stipulations that go with it. You now have to: wash my hair, condition my hair, dry my hair, comb my hair, straighten my hair, style my hair and color my hair. Basically, anything I use to do with my hair, you now have to do since you're the one that wants it long. If you can't follow those guide lines, then I'm going to cut my hair any way I damn well please and if you don't like it,there's the door. I certainly won't stop you". See, I may lack confidence and be insecure but that doesn't mean I appreciate people telling me what to do or how to look. There are some things I just draw the line with and someone telling me how to look, is one of them.

I think it's because of that lack of confidence that I know I need to be happy with who I am and how I look. Because, people will come and go but I'll be stuck with myself forever. So, I better like what I see when I look in the mirror and like who I am, if not it will be a miserable existence. That goes for all people everywhere, we all have to do what's right for us and not just what will attract the opposite gender.

I admit, I have short hair now. But, it's not like I've never had long hair. I had long hair when I was little and it went with the whole cute little girl thing. Then I grew up and long hair no longer suited me. I look better with short hair, it matches my face shape better and it's how I'm happiest. if that makes me unattractive and undatable to men, then so be it. But, people are always telling me "You have to love yourself first. You have to be happy with yourself". Well, this is how I'm happy and I don't plan I ever changing that.

To conclude, I just want men to understand that just because you are attracted to a certain type of woman or have a particular preference, doesn't mean all women have to follow that or would even look good that way. Not all women look good with long hair, it's all depent upon face shape. So, prefer a woman anyway you please. Just don't act like because it's what YOU like, that it's something SHE wants. We all have our own personal style and are entitled to look anyway we please, even if it doesn't put us on the "What attracts a man" list. No one should ever conform to what "type", the opposite gender likes. Attraction should be natural, not forced.

Remember: Her head, her hair and her call!

Thanks, for listening :)


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What Guys Said 30

  • You realize that take was in response to one a girl wrote about what women love about the male body.

    Quit being butthurt that some random dude on the internet that you will never meet said he wants women to stop with the pixie cuts. I personally want pixie cuts to stop as well. It makes women look like prepubescent teenage boys. An overwhelming majority of guys will attest to that. Kudos to the guys that do enjoy them. No idea how they do it

    Waste of a mytake because of the motivation and inspiration behind it. Message was fine in the end about confidence and self worth as well as attraction bring natural, but writing it because of one thing some guy said makes it come off as bitter and militantly feministic which I despise beyond belief

    Go ahead downvote me. This is a discussion forum and I'm contributing

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    • I didn't write it because of that and I don't remember stating that was the reason why. That wasn't the first time I've heard a guy say that and I even heard a girl at my hair salon say she wouldn't get her hair trimmed anymore then she already had because "her boyfriend likes her hair long". I personally, thing that's wrong. I'm not going to make myself look the way men think I should look and sacrifice my own external and internal confidence, no man is worth that. Even a man shouldn't sacrifice is own external and internal confidence, just to please a women. Because, no woman is worth that.

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    • Asker that's like me shaving everyday because my woman loves a clean face over scruf/5o'clock shadow. Yeah I hate it, but its a very small sacrifice in the long run. Part of what makes me attracted to a woman is long hair, and I'd ask her to keep it long for me, just as she would ask me to shave and/or any other personal grooming tidbits.

      In a relationship, there's always some kind of "sacrifice" involved, whatever it my be.

      @bananatossing thanks bro

  • If he or people like him like long hair and reject you because of this then you should not consider them shamers and should not get bothered.

    If you like short hair and are happy with it, they shouldn't give a shih in your personal matters either.

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  • Your head, your hair, your rules.
    My mind, my body, my opinion.
    No one is telling you to grow your hair, we're just saying what we prefer, we're just givimg our opinion, and it's takes like this that tick me off cause it feels like I can't give my opinion with anyone making a huge deal about it and getting super offended.
    No one is telling you what to do, we're just telling you what we like and waht we don't.

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    • First, I wasn't offended and I'm sorry that I gave the impression I was. Second, I specifically said "I don't care that guys have preferences or that long hair is even one of them". I really don't care, it wasn't about preferences. It was about demands and making statements like "stop with the pixie cuts", that makes a woman feel like that's more of a demand then a preference and is what I was trying to say. Does that makesense?

    • Also, I wrote this a few days ago to clear up any misunderstandings about this take and another take I wrote. Feel free to read it and maybe it will better explain my point of view and what I was trying to say.
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10180-misunderstood-what-i-d-like-to-clear-up

  • Why is it that you automatically assume that guys are making you style your hair in a certain way? The same way that girls post these "top 10 things girls find most attractive in guys" they never (I think) mean to imply that they're forcing guys to consider. It's all just recommendation.

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  • stop tripping. Men prefer all different types. Just because its all you read on here doesn't mean that it is how all men on earth think. Don't take the "preference" posts to heart its just banter!

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    • No it's not, when I was at the hair salon getting my hair cut once. I heard the styliest ask the girl if she wanted her to trim anymore of her hair and she said "No, my boyfriend likes me hair long". So, people actually do things just to please there significant other whether it's what they truly want or not.

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    • newsflash: people like doing things to please people they care about

      Hopefully you will find someone you care about enough to do this for, although I doubt that'll happen.

    • @koko124 I don't know if your talking to me or not, but if you are you are strongly missing the point.

  • Wow. That take was so.. fucking useless.
    Do to your fucking hair what you want, nobody cares, stop crying like a little girl about people wanting women to have long hair.
    And actually having a preference means that women - or men, or whomever you are attracted to - have to follow it to be considered attractive by the one having that preference and attitude.

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  • I wasn't aware that y'all had to deal with this stuff.
    Dudes, stop being douches.

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  • Short hair is hot, so is long hair, so is medium length, so is brunette, blonde, red, green... I remember that thing about short hair from earlier and as a lover of pixie cuts was myself offended.

    Seriously people like what they like and do what they want to do. If it's not hurting anyone then who cares?

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  • Geez, my ex-girlfriend told me I should grow my hair out and I declined but I didn't try and go off on her like this.

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  • I happen to like pixie cuts. When Emma Watson got hers I thought it was great.

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  • There is one thing I'd like to make clear. My hair is my ego. If someone touches my hair without permission prepare to have a mouthful.

    Girls aren't the only ones who care about hair.

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  • I agree with this. guys, it's perfectly ok to have your own preferences, just don't expect every girl out there to adhere to them. not every girl is gonna be your type anyway, personality-wise. i only see a small percentage of the female population as women i would date, and i find that small percentage to be more than enough women for me. so there's no reason for the rest of them to have the physical attributes i find desirable. in the same way, you shouldn't expect all women to look the way you want them to, since you won't be dating all of them anyway.

    now about your take @asker i'm a bit confused; is the reason you don't grow your hair out because it's too much of a bother (since you have to condition it, comb it, style it etc) or is it because you look better with short hair and it suits your face?

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    • It's because I look better with short hair and it suits me better. I had long hair when I was a little girl and it went with the whole cute little girl thing, but than I got older and cut my hair and I liked it better and it looked better. For the record, whether my hair is long or short all that stuff I do to it is still a pain the butt lol. However, it's a little easier to maintain with short hair.

  • Women can have their hair however they want, doesn't mean we have to be attracted to it.

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  • I've had more girlfriends whine about the way I do my hair way more than I've ever suggested they style theirs.

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  • Great Take. I've seen a lot of that type of comments and you are spot on.

    It's legitimate if someone is asking what guys like, but otherwise it can get dictatorial.

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    • I also think shorter hair can look great, and longer hair can look bad, not that it matters, just to say that it is not an absolute rule of what guys like.

  • It reads like a rant, sadly. Yeah you have to maintain your hair if it's long, but most men just like long hair. Nothing wrong with that! I know how annoying it can be to maintain though, mine was once beyond shoulder-length long.

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  • Men have standards. Do as we ask, or find someone else. It's that simple.

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    • That's not a standard, that's a preference.
      its more like YOU need to find someone else if you meet a girl who won't change her hair for you.

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    • @miserybusiness

      That sounds like a bitter way of looking at things.

      Different people have different preferences. Some guys like long hair, some guys really don't like short hair. Calling people's preferences a "problem" is what's actually messed up.

    • Not at all. It's actually realistic. You need to realize that people's hair changes over time. Sometimes she'll have long hair, sometimes short. If you're so shallow and superficial as to abandon your girlfriend just because of a haircut, then you clearly never liked/loved her in the first place. Men (and women) who dump someone just because of something as minor as short hair are merely looking for trophy partners who look good next to them.

  • There's a word for this, can't remember it right now.
    It was something about "policing" or something around those lines.

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  • Yeah, do what ever you like😊

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  • Opinion in short, if women want short hair, let them have short hair... just know that there will be men who won't find it attractive and will pass you up because of it.

    I like pixie cuts if the woman is curvy enough.

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What Girls Said 27

  • I agree SO FUCKING MUCH you don't even understand. I have long hair myself and I don't plan on cutting it short, but if I WANTED to, it would be nice if I could do it without men whining about it, you know.
    I've also seen on questions concerning hair on here, that guys claim that women should always ask their boyfriend/husband if it's ok to cut it short. Or that it's something they should talk about first. Uhhhh, no? Like you said, everyone is allowed to do whatever the hell they want with their hair. People are allowed to voice their opinion of course, but it's still YOUR hair and it's still YOUR right to do whatever you want with it. The guys' explanations as to WHY the woman should always ask for permission to cut it is because
    1. "it totally changes her entire appearance and it might shock the guy in a bad way ermagheeerdd!!"
    2. "she will become unattractive to him ermagheeerdd!!"
    AND MY FAVORITE 3. "she should ALWAYS ask for permission for EVERYTHING because the man is the dominant manly manbro of the relationship!!"

    Idgaf if my future boyfriend will think I'm less attractive if I cut my hair short. Also, shocking news: HAIR ACTUALLY GROWS OUT!!! WOW!! Who would've thought. Even if it's short now, it might be long again in half a year if she doesn't cut it. GASP!
    It's simply something I have the right to do, and if he can't handle me cutting my hair... lmao byeeee.
    www.reactiongifs.com/.../bye-b.gif

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  • I totally agree. My ex was very controlling with me and he used to say to me that I was only allowed to have my hair a certain way. No unnatural colours. (But I couldn't have that anyway because of my job). And I hated it. When we broke up, the first thing i did was have all my hair chopped off. And I mean all of it. Exhibit A: fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/.../...585802_n.jpg

    I'm trying to grow my hair now. I've had it long and I've had it short. I felt more of a girl with long hair, but to be honest I liked the flexibility of short hair. I did find though it needed more styling than having long hair and washed more frequently. I couldn't throw it up into a ponytail.
    My plan at the moment is to have one side longer than the other - asymmetric on my head. I'm not going to go long long (although my partner wants me to) but he also understands it's what I'm comfortable with. He dated me when I had short hair, so I know it's not an issue! There are days when I miss that hairstyle but hey ho! Been growing it a year, would be a waste to give up now before I get the new cut put in :P

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  • Lady no one is making you do it. Wanna be less attractive cut your hair, avoid make up, put on a sports bra to work, do what you like!

    Frankly I think femininity is wonderful and appearance is a part of it. Making yourself nice to look at in order to please other people (but said appearance has to come with proper attitude). To make their day a little nicer because they saw a pretty human. :)

    But it's your self presentation and you choose what to communicate with it. Frankly, I would just think you're lazy, before I'd think you're indignant.
    http://data2.whicdn.com/images/64340904/large.jpg

    You don't owe people anything, that's the thing about femininity. It's passive, giving and unintrusive. It's a state of being... It has to come from you, it can be imitated, but it can never be truly forced. :)

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    • Why do you think short hair is any less feminine than long? Hair alone doesn't say a thing about the person who has it. Length shouldn't be enough to make a person think someone else is lazy or unfeminine. Being unfeminine is dressing like a skank and getting drunk too often and swearing like a drunken Irish.

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    • well looks like the opinion owner is just a little confused after this... You are saying long hair is feminine just like big bodies are masculine, yet you are on here complaining that you can't have short hair if you want... I think you need to just be yourself and stop thinking everyone cares about your hair so much. You could have the longest prettiest hair in the world and still be a massive bitch. Your hair will not help.

    • No, now I'm confused...
      Are you saying I complained about not being able to have short hair? :/

  • I have long hair most of the time, but sometimes, I like to cut it. I mean its hair it will grow back eventually. Some of the guys are just used to being in charge and not letting some one else decide. I mean if a women was trying to change the way your hair look, or liked Short hair and you had long hair what would you guys do? how would you react if you where in her shoes. I think thats what she was getting to but the guys just assumed because the paragraph was long that she was going off on a tangent, went she was just telling you all how she feels. When men only want what they want and not even let the girl decide. Some guys are not very nice, I wouldn't let a guy make decisions for me, nor my family because I have a brain and I can use it.

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  • yes.. it is a girls decision to whatevr she wants with her hair.. and even if she decides to grow them long becoz her partner likes it.. still it is her decision.. it is wrong for a boy to ask her straight forward to do something.. it is nice when ur partner does something for u and u did not even had to ask..

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  • High five. What a man prefers is fine, but he has no say if a woman prefers to have her hair cut in a bob, mullet, or any other style. It is her choice.

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  • This is so true. I feel the same way about the ones who tell women "to wear their natural hair" and all the make up haters on here. I don't understand why how someone else looks matters so much to people and why people think think they speak for everyone just because they have a preference. If everyone had long natural hair, wore no make up and didn't have our own certain style then the world would be boring as fuck.

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  • Some men just think we should only do things to please them and cater to their preferences only. It's the same with things like breast reductions. I know this is slightly off topic, but my friend has large breasts and they cause her discomfort and pain and she wants them reduced. She says that so many guys tell her not to do it because 'bigger boobs look better', like seriously? Can't she do something that makes her happy?

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  • Awesome! I had long hair, but am wearing it shorter now. So many people were like why did you cut it and a bunch of stupid comments after I did it. Annoying when people want your hair to be a certain way because it fits some ideal, but its my hair so I should be able to style it how I want to wear it.

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  • Exactly! You hit the nail right on the head with this one! Just another scenario of men wanting to control women's bodies. At least this one isn't legally binding. Everyone should be able to look and do as they please with their bodies because it is no one else's business! If you are not attracted to someone just as they are, you probably shouldn't be dating that person anyway.

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  • I want to shave my head. But most people give me terrible looks when I say that. And tell me I shouldn't do it. Because I was going to do it just for them lol.
    I've been planning it for months now, but I don't have the money to go have it done at the moment.

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  • Great take. A guy should accept a girl for how she is. Why did he pick her in the first place when there are other women that fit his tastes? Guy logic. Psh.

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  • AMEN FUCKING HALLELUJAH!

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  • My boyfriend likes long hair on a girl, but out of all long haired girls out there, he picked me and my bobcut.

    I guess he passed the test.

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  • Preach it, sister! I wear my hair medium-length. That suits me, that makes me feel comfortable and that's what requires the least work on my part. I don't demand specific facial hair from guys, they don't get to demand specific hair styles from me.

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  • I saw that question too! Not cool.
    I really liked this take though, well said 😊

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  • Yes!!! So true!! I remember having the same feeling when I read that. I love my pixie cut and people tell me it suits my personality so much. :)

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  • i agree. i have strong preferences but i know that i shouldn't try to force them on others.

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  • Slayy girrl, slaayyy!

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  • The Tangled picture of Rapunzel that you put in your take is nice.

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