Dating someone with a disability. Yes or no?

Guys and girls; how would you react if the person you're dating told you that they have a physical disability (which had gone undetected by you until this point).
How would you feel? Would you stay in the relationship?

  • Stay
    79% (11)88% (14)83% (25)Vote
  • Leave
    14% (2)0% (0)7% (2)Vote
  • Other
    7% (1)12% (2)10% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If I had been in the relationship and I didn't even notice it, then what difference would it make once I know? Granted I am bias because I'm half deaf so I do have a physical disability that would go undetected unless I told them. I don't know how many times I've told someone that and they didn't believe me and sometimes I even had to prove it with records because they honestly didn't believe that I was half deaf. The only downside I've seen from telling people is when they say, "what" directly after I told them. I've fallen for that a few times. One time I thought someone said that to mess with me and when I said, "you know what I said" they said, "no, seriously, I didn't hear what you said."

    So, would I stay in the relationship? Of course. Especially if it had gone undetected for some time. I just can't comprehend dating someone and everything is fine and then the moment they find that I'm half deaf they leave me. The only difference is that they have knowledge of the disability. It doesn't change who I am as a person and I don't think it should change how they felt about me. If the disability has gone undetected then it clearly doesn't affect the relationship.

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What Guys Said 14

  • First, I would like to say that any relationship that is long term can turn into a caretaker situation. Sooner or later one will begin to die and their partner will be a caretaker.

    But I think we all hope that such things do not happen early. Sometimes they do. Being the caretaker is not so bad by itself, but it means that one is doing the job that two shared earlier. If there are children, that is a lot of care taking. Trying to take care of everyone at home and work enough to take care of all the bills is a very big burden. And I have seen many people that could not handle it and left their spouse and kids to fend for themselves. Not pretty and something you cannot imagine anyone doing, but some people just can't handle it.

    But, all of that said, there can still be a lot of enjoyment in the lives of two people who share this burden. If the disability is manageable so that the non disabled party can take care of the family, the love is just as great as without the disability.

    I would just recommend to someone considering undertaking such a relationship, make sure you don't ignore the facts. It can be a rough road and not all can handle it.

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  • I'd stay. Id feel hurt she didn't tell me, but someones health is a non issue to me. Anything that happens happens. I dont see why it would deter me.

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    • What if she said to you that it's not something she is comfortable everyone knowing and she wanted to make sure the relationship was steady/serious before divulging such info?

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    • Fair call. :)

    • Mm. Either way, if it's real, a relationship will never break on such a thing. :)

  • Heck yeah, I'd stay. I found out in the middle of my high school relationship that my gf had a condition that caused occasional seizures. I found this out when we were doing statewide testing and she did this in the middle of the test. I loved her and just planned ahead in case it ever happened when we were together.

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  • I don't think a disability is reason to dump someone. What if he/she was damaged in a fire 10 years down the line or was paralysed in a car crash or had bits removed because of cancer. Would you abandon them? I hope not.. don't go in the deep water unless you can swim, stay in the shallow end it is easier.

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  • A lot of people try to keep there issues out of site for one reason or another they just don't want everyone know basically , but at the same time you shouldn't lie or intentional hide it. May times we feel the issue is more of a issue then it really is to others.
    if he hasn't noticed a problem maybe bring it up in causal conversation just so he is aware of it, but unless its major or something that may cause issues I shouldn't be a issue its just part of who you are

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  • If I did not notice it before hand it must not be that big of a problem regardless though I would stay having a disability is not their fault and leaving them for that is kind of immature and stupid.

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  • Yes i would, like wtf man, imagine you being disable and your boyfriend/girlfriend leaves you because of something like that.
    being disable wasn't their choice and they have to live with it, everybody is special doesn't matter how ugly people think you are or how beautiful you are, in my eyes all of you guys are perfect :)

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  • If I fell for them hard enough, I'd totally be down with it. Even if they were missing both legs. I like the idea of taking care of someone.

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    • In this case you wouldn't need to be in a caretaker position. But every relationship should be about caring as far as i'm concerned.

  • Chances are, if it went undetected for sufficiently long time, then I'd have no problem with it.

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  • Depends on how severe.

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    • What if it has the potential to be serious, but until that point your haven't noticed, so it's obviously not impacting on your life.

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    • No, no risk of death; but that they may have to have treatments/surgeries in the future to better their health, not because they're going to die, but because they want to be as healthy as possible.

    • I have no idea.

  • As long as they can go to the gym with me.

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  • Depends on the disability and if it becomes a significant burden

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    • What if they odds of it becoming a burden on your are the same as if you were with a person without a disability?

  • It Depends.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I'm physically disabled from birth, I can barely walk...but I have a bf, and there's no issues

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  • I would stay as I don't want to cause him other predicaments. Going through this will make a much stronger relationship.

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  • Stay, if I haven't detected it by now it's probably not so severe.

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  • Depending on how serious it is then leave because the relationship can turn into a caretaker-patient relationship. If not then you two can work it out together.

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    • What if it's gone undetected by you until that point, which would indicate that they don't need to be taken care of by you anymore than if you were in a relationship with someone without a disability?

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    • You never know how any 'normal' persons health will be in the future either...

    • then it does not matter. as long as you're happy and so are they.

  • I don't know love is blind.

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