Is it unattractive to a guy that I have a child?

Being that I'm 17 and have a 8 month old it's a lot harder for me to date and when I think I find a nice guy and tell him about my son he seems to be less interested in me! I don't hide the fact that I have a baby because I'm proud of him and I like being honest with people so why is it they run away all the time?

Updates:
im not looking for someone to take care of me and my son I'm looking for someone that I can be happy with who's okay with the fact that I have a baby! I made the decision to have my son and I don't regret that decision!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's exactly why they run away. I really don't need to elaborate, but think of it this way. You're not even old enough to buy tobacco products and you're caring for an infant.

    Soon as you mention that to a man he is going to run for a couple reasons. You weren't smart enough to be on the pill + use a condom. You weren't smart enough to get an abortion and save your life. Congrats on now being a burden on your family and ruining your chances at leading a successful life and being able to give the baby the life he or she deserves.

    Don't bother commenting at how you can still provide the life the baby deserves at age 17. You can't. Your parents are providing for the baby and hopefully that's the case because otherwise you really screwed up.

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    • I made the decision to keep my son because my son deserved to live! I didn't ruin my life and my parents don't provide for me! I have a job and my son has a father ! Just because I'm young doesn't mean I can't be a good parent!!

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    • I was pregnant at a young age I had a job finish high school, Finish college with my bachelor degree, I never ruined no ones life. So don't listen to these people. I never needed welfare I always did for me and mines. Just keep your head up , there's always gonna be assholes out there rtying to keep you down !

    • Did you learn your lesson after having your first child though? She has continued to have unprotected sex and now has another baby on the way and will be a mother of two before she is 18. At this rate she will have 8 by the time she is 27. She is just in general showing a lack of intellect both in her posts on this topic and her apparent situation in the real world.

What Guys Said 4

  • im going to be brutally honest here, at your age yes it is. because no matter how you slice it, a relationship with you will mean taking on lots of extra responsibilities that a high school, or even college student shouldnt have to take on.

    not only that but people tend to think about your ability to make intelligent choices considering you're saddled with a child so young.

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    • That may be the case but whether you realizeit or not any boyfriend you have WILL have to take on part of the responsibility of being a father figure. you may not be looking for that but its going to happen. and guys know it.

    • And there you have it, the reason they don't stick with you. They decide it's not worth it after a while. Especially since you have TWO not just one.

  • I think you have to put yourself in their shoes.. I would assume you date guys around your age..If you were a 17 y/o guy would you want to date a girl that has a kid some people are willing to look past it. You just have to keep trying and you will find a guy that accept you and your baby(s).

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  • It may turn them away at first sight, but the benefit of it all is... if they are interested, even after seeing you have a child, you can probably rest assured he's a pretty good guy.

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  • I don't think so. Some people like you noted are just afraid or make an assumption based on the fact you tell them you have a son that you want them to take care of him as well as you. Not every guy is like that. Some guys are ready and willing to accept your son as a part of your life and will look past it. That doesn't mean that you're unattractive in the least. It's just the way some people think.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Ouch. Some harsh responses here.

    My contribution to this is just this - focus on your kids, not your love life. I know it's hard, since I was a young single mother myself, but you all have a lot of growing up to do together and it will take all the energy and time you have to turn this situation into something viable for your little family. Finish school, get a higher education, find a good job pays enough to support all of you. There is no shame in being a single mother to me, stuff happens. The best thing to do is to move forward with your family's best interest in mind - not just your own.

    I can't stress enough to you to work as hard as you can to be financially stable. Kids are very expensive - daycare itself is astronomical. But in time the sacrifices would pay off. Your kids will have a great mom to look up to and you will have the piece of mind knowing that you accomplished something most people don't think could happen - you took care of business yourself.

    As a child of divorce and a previous single mother myself - it can be done.

    Best of luck to you and kiss your babies - they grow up so very fast.

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    • Out of the bunch, this is the best answer....

      First of all, congratulations on two babies =D Now, forget about trying to find the right guy that will stick around, and focus in the life that you've chosen for yourself and your two kids. I would also advice you to rethink the "relationship" you have with the father. He apperantly doesn't want to marry you, if your here asking about other men. Don't complicate yourself anymore. Enjoy what you have so far and make the best out of life.Good Luck!

  • Why do they run away? Because you're really young and you have a baby. That is some big responsibilities there that will send a greater amount of guys running away. Sorry, but that's the honest truth about it. Think of it as a plus side. You have a better way to filter out who is worth it and who isn't. Just don't be in suach a rush because your son should benumber one (even before you). It is hard enough to find a solid guy but it's even harder when you have a child.

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    • She also neglected to mention she is currently 7 months pregnant with another child.

    • Oh what!? Sorry girl but this makes you look even worse. You are still so young to be having a kid that it's hard for a lot of guys to handle seeing as they are young and want to experience things before settling down like this.

  • You have gotten yourself into a situation where you're going to have to work harder than most to have a successful, fulfilling life. you should concentrate on building a future for your kids and being a mom right now. if you do that, by the time they are in school, you will be in a place to build relationships. there will be time for you then. the men will be more mature (if you date near you age group) and better equipped to build a life with you and you will have more to offer in a relationship. if you do this, you will avoid a lot of bad relationships and men coming and going in your childrens lives. its not too late to make good choices.

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